Just came across your thread and I'm hoping you're doing well. I'm 10 months "sober" just coming off of a suboxone program a couple of weeks ago. I know your struggles but I can promise you every day does get easier although at times in the first few days or weeks it could feel minute to minute. But know it will pass. And then Your physical ailing and dependency is over. As far as I'm concerned that's the greatest freedom of sobriety and one, if you can beat, you'll never want to repeat. Give yourself time, the mental part comes later. Recovery is a roller coaster but one worth riding. ❤️