SuperTrucker65

2 Days Clean, is AWESOME!!! Congratulations!! That is HUGE!!! Good Luck with Day 3!!!

~Rob~

krisgrace

Yesterday, I was all in a great mood, because I was off of the pills. Then I get to work and we are really busy and this girl is fussing bc I am not working fast enough for her. We work in a very small office and If I had called in for a few days, just imagaine, what would have happened. I was so upset, she pretty much attacked me verbally...I already hate my job....so yesterday was pretty hard.
I couldnt sleep last night, I kept thinking about work, not to mention my legs kept moving....ugh....
My husband says I need to move with him so we can save money and work on things and I can get better there, and that I need to get away from here. I am thinking maybe he is right.
Well, anyway it is now day 3! So....here I go....

krisgrace

How long does it last??

Stagebear

Well, I'm on day 49 and mine's been completely over for at least a couple of weeks. There's no way to tell for you. But please, please believe me it was worth waiting it out. More than anyone, I know how it feels when going through it, that it will never end. But it does gradually until one day I realized...hey...I just laid on the couch for a half hour with no RLS!

bval

I'm proud of you too Kris

The actual 'kicking' at night, to the point where it either keeps you up or wakes you up (consider yourself lucky that could even happen!), usually does not last that long ... maybe a week, tops, in my experience. It does take a bit longer than that though before your adrenaline system comes back into balance, so sleep in general is usually an 'issue' for a few weeks to maybe even a month.

The things that tend to 'stick around' beyond the first week or so are the insomnia, and the leg-bouncing during the day. You'll probably also find you're pretty easily fatigued (but not tired enough to sleep) for a bit here. The bowel situation can also take awhile to sort itself out. Once you start feeling better, you'll likely also get really 'chatty' for awhile.

The tendency have my eyes well up at the drop of a hat ... that hasn't entirely gone away for me even now. Sometimes I'll listen to songs that made me totally bawl when I was in w/d's, and they'll hit me in almost the same way they did back then, and suddenly there'll be tears dripping from my chin. It's pretty trippy ... I like it, actually

Seriously, though, sometime between day 4 and day 7, you'll turn a huge corner, feel A LOT better, and the little 'niggling' stuff that kinda drags on ... you'll just sorta laugh about. Compared to how you WERE feeling? It really ain't s**t.

I'm not saying that for *some* people, the misery doesn't last way beyond the first week, cause it most certainly does for some. But the really acute and obvious withdrawals don't usually last more than a week unless you're coming off of subs or methadone, which have much longer half-lives than oxys or vikes or heroin.

Seeing as how at one time, I've gotten off the same drug as you myself, after roughly the same time frame, and doing roughly the same amount as you (this was many years ago), I can tell you w/ a high degree of certainty ... you're gonna be *largely* free of w/d effects no more than one week after you've stopped, and will likely really 'turn a corner' on about day 5.

I really admire that you're able to tough out work in the situation you're in. Very, very impressive. You are a tough cookie Keep on keeping on!!!

christin1225

Kris,

So sorry that I missed much of this. But, I'm making my way through the thread right now. Anyway, I want to say that you're proud of yourself because you have a good reason to be proud of yourself. It's day #2!!!!
I'd like to give you one of these too. and one of these: :ghug3 Oh, and lot of these of course :praying (even though they're late).

christin1225

Hey girl,

If you are able, I would suggest that you allow yourself enough time to get your thinking really clear before discussing important plans or changes. It's enough to plan today... Day #3. So, stick with that for now, unless it's imperative that you do anything else. BTW -- you're doing great!

Angelic17

Dear KrisGrace, I read your story, and you remind me of me. I was addicted to vicodins for over 10 years. I ran like crazy to get those pills. I put so much effort into getting them that they became number 1 in my life. I am a married woman, mom & photographer. I always thought I couldn't live without them. Then one day I just got so sick of it. I was using about 20-25 pills a day. Totally addicted. The pills were making me sick. But I thought I needed them. So, here's the good news. I went to the Dr. and told him I was ready to stop. He prescribed a drug called suboxone. I took one tablet, the first day, and it blocked all withdrawal symptoms. The next day, I took one tablet. I felt fine. I was prescribed a bottle of 90 suboxone, and only used 2. The third day I took nothing. I was just a bit weak and anxious. I have been clean for 3 yrs and 9 mnths now. I didn't even need the suboxone. My addiction was mostly mental. I anticipated things that never happened. The key is to stay busy, and it sounds to me like you are. With 2 children, a demanding job, and single motherhood on your plate you should keep in mind that when you come off of opiates you will have anxiety. But, anxiety only lasts about 40 seconds and if you keep busy you wont realize it. YOu have to really, really want it. You can't say your ready, and not be. You are responsible for what you put into your body. My advice is to stay away from people who use. Even if they are your relatives. Many people have overcome opiate addiction. You can do it. Be careful not to transfer your addiction to another drug. Clean means Clean. No DRUGS, NO SUBSTANCES. Good Luck and God BLess you. Your children deserve a straight and healthy mom.

bval

How was your Wednesday Kris?

krisgrace

Wednesday was good....I keep getting these damn headaches...I mainly sat in my office not talking and typing away....I talked to my boss about the situation (the girl attacking me the other day about the work not getting done fast enough), and he knows how much stress I am under. He told me not to worry about it. He said to try to be more social with her and she will probably lay off some....(ugh like I really want to do that!) He knew I was struggling with money, so he gave me some money to help with some bills. (He is like a father to me, and a very good christian man.)......So I feel a little better...
Besides the headaches, and backaches, and insomnia, and leg kicking and moving all around. LOL, but still no pills!!!!
I must admit, when I set my mind to something, I will do it. It's just getting there that sometimes takes a while. I went to my counselor this morning. She think that if I want my marriage to work that I should move down there but continue counseling, both marriage and separate, for both of us. of course, and getting on my new meds, which I will do March 3rd. So, I have a decision to make......
Anyway Day 4 it is....
:ghug

Angelic17

4 days is awesome. Get through 1 day at a time and before you know it you will have months under your belt. You GO GIRL. Have a great day, God Bless. Angel

krisgrace

I read this first post, and I cringe when I read that I had pills...
I am so glad that the is out of my body!!
I am so thankful to everyone that has helped me through this! You people are amazing!
I am not sure if I would have been able to do this without you guy's help!
SO THANKS!!!
:ghug

djs61111

Kris you are an inspiration to me! I am also on day 4 today and am a mother of three young children. The only difference is that my husband is in the same boat as me and is also on day 4 of being clean. We can do this!! ((HUGS))

bval

You're welcome

You are doing awesome, congratulations!

Now ... bear in mind ... what you've done thus far is ... gone through withdrawals, and stayed clean for almost 5 days. You may have gone through the toughest single part of getting clean now ... but it is still only one part of it. There is yet more work to do my friend. Do not be lulled into a false sense of security by your apparent 'success'. If I were you, I would start working a recovery program of some kind, going to meetings, that sort of thing.

It's very easy, at day five, when you start finally feeling better, to think 'Man, I am NEVER gonna go through THAT S**T AGAIN!'. In fact, that's what we ALL have done at one (or many) time(s) in the past, only to find out, sooner or later, that we were, in fact, destined to do just that ... go through it again.

You need to start taking some steps now, Kris ...

krisgrace

I supposed your right....again...lol

lostbutterfly

He is, kris, he is!!! Meet a person who has gone thru w/d's so, so many times and probably will again if my current record is anything to go by. And I go to meetings! Just a slow learner, I guess!

Once you have stopped, you experience the joy but also the pain of living drug-free. And sometimes it can feel plain boring, because you are so used to the ups and downs of life with drugs.

krisgrace

You know the only time I remember being happy was when I was drug free and in church... I honestly dont know WHY I started... I got unhappy, out of church, and wallowing in my self pity. I let myself get that way, and I tried to self medicate. NO MORE! I remember when I was happy and why I was happy, and thats where I want to be again. I will do whatever it takes to get there. Amazingly I havent even had the urge to take a pill since I stopped except the VERY first day just to stop the pain. If I ever get the urge, I will go running to a program. I dont ever want to be in this situation again...

bval

I don't mean to sound negative here, but ...

What you describe ... that's what you *maybe, hopefully* do IF you are already IN a program or recovery-based fellowship.

I promise you, when you are NOT in such an organization already?

That's the exact opposite of what you'll *actually* do.

It's kinda why these fellowships exist in the first place

Never, in all the many dozens of meetings I've been to, in like 10 different cities, have I heard someone say 'Well, I used to be actively addicted to drugs, then I got off of them for awhile on my own, and then I started feeling like I was going to take them again, but I didn't, and I don't want to, so I decided I'd show up here to your fellowship for support'.

It'd be NICE to hear that story once in a while ... but ... I won't be surprised if I don't go my entire life without hearing it.

Stagebear

+1 on what bv posted. When we're in crisis and want to use, many of us resort to old behavior. If there is no "new" behavior (going to meetings, calling someone), using is all we have.

djs61111

How are you doing Krisgrace?