Starting Suboxone on Saturday
Lover of the Light
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 159
I must echo Clean in how amazing it is you have stayed clean! Congratulations on day 10. I really hope your husband follows through on his promises to get help before the next episode. Your IOP counseller sounds amazingly helpful, obviously you get a lot from that program.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Cleveland, oh
Posts: 24
Day 13
Clean that is truly inspirational. 26 years, wow! I also believe that people change. I hope to be a shining example of that but change comes when you personally are ready for it. I hate the way things are don't get me wrong. I wish every second during these episodes that he would change but I have to be patient. I ask the same from him after all.
Yesterday was weird... I've had a sick baby all week, and I've also been sick. I felt off yesterday and this morning though. The same kind of off that I'd get after being high all day. It's like I wasn't really sure what happened all day so I thought "crap, did I take too many subs on accident?" But I counted this morning and I'm right on track for the week. I hate to think it's just part of the damage I've caused to my brain after all these years but I honestly think that's what it is. The last 6 months I've had terrible memory loss and just a feeling of being removed from conversations, events etc. I'm not as sharp as I once was. Does anyone know how long it takes to come back from that?
I also had my dealer text me yesterday and flat out said, "You should start doing them again." I was like, "Nah I'm good, I definitely don't miss needing them." I need to block the number. I have gotten several messages this week just trying to nudge me or remind me. We aren't friends, we never hung out, it was a business relationship. There's no need to talk as there is no longer business to discuss. It's just messed up how they try to lure you back. It's so transparent now.
I missed IOP on Monday because I was sick and so was my babysitter but have one on one counseling today. I don't even know where to start with him... Ill post an update later though. Can't believe tomorrow is 2 weeks. It's been hell in general, but absolutely amazing that I haven't spent my time searching for pills like it's my job. Hope all is well. Thank you all for your support. <3
Yesterday was weird... I've had a sick baby all week, and I've also been sick. I felt off yesterday and this morning though. The same kind of off that I'd get after being high all day. It's like I wasn't really sure what happened all day so I thought "crap, did I take too many subs on accident?" But I counted this morning and I'm right on track for the week. I hate to think it's just part of the damage I've caused to my brain after all these years but I honestly think that's what it is. The last 6 months I've had terrible memory loss and just a feeling of being removed from conversations, events etc. I'm not as sharp as I once was. Does anyone know how long it takes to come back from that?
I also had my dealer text me yesterday and flat out said, "You should start doing them again." I was like, "Nah I'm good, I definitely don't miss needing them." I need to block the number. I have gotten several messages this week just trying to nudge me or remind me. We aren't friends, we never hung out, it was a business relationship. There's no need to talk as there is no longer business to discuss. It's just messed up how they try to lure you back. It's so transparent now.
I missed IOP on Monday because I was sick and so was my babysitter but have one on one counseling today. I don't even know where to start with him... Ill post an update later though. Can't believe tomorrow is 2 weeks. It's been hell in general, but absolutely amazing that I haven't spent my time searching for pills like it's my job. Hope all is well. Thank you all for your support. <3
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