dragonfire613

Welcome to SR! Your first post. Lord I've only been here like 3 days and feel like I've been on here forever. But No no, you are certainly not hijacking... its not REALLY my thread... its our thread. Everyone's... and hey, we are detox twins! Stopped on the same day, dose, and everything :o) I'm sorry to hear you do not think you'd have the support of your family and friends... but you are not going this alone. We are here. That's why we are here, so that we are not alone in this, methinks. I have hardly left this forum in 3 days... it helps pass the time and I've already made some good friends who have gone through this before us. People are going to be sick of me before long, cuz I can't stop reading, posting, and writing. It helps so much. Congrats to us on day 5! Hang in there, friend.

Finally12

Awesome we ARE twins lol. Yes, I think this will help as well, it's been helpful to read posts from people that have kicked the sub, other things I have read elsewhere did not give me much hope. I've heard horror stories about it taking months to stop feeling the wd symptoms. So far, today has been pretty good, days 3 and 4 were the worst so far. I've found forcing myself to move has helped, the more I lay on the couch the worse I feel. Going on little walks with the dog, etc. I have been wanting to get off the sub for awhile now but have been afraid because of other things I've read, but I can honestly say that while it hasn't been fun, it hasn't been as bad as I anticipated.

dragonfire613

I have to say days 3 and 4 were the worst for me too (so far anyway, but day 5 has been a breeze compared to the previous two, so I'm hoping that trend continues). Yeah, there are a LOT of scary suboxone stories out there... some of them unfounded, some of them truthful, I think it just varies from person to person and how serious you are about getting through it. Trust me I know. This is my 4th go-around at this, and each of the first 3 times I didn't make it, and I have my own horror stories from those (which I choose not to share in detail for that precise reason). Instead I'm sharing this story, writing it as I go, cuz this is the one that matters. One thing, if nothing else, I've learned is that the mind has control of the body. The mind can create physical detox symptoms that may not be present otherwise.

My suboxone doc once told me a very interesting story that I will never forget. It was when I was preparing for go #2 or #3 (i forget which), and we were talking about the placebo effect. I said something along the lines of I was only taking such a small dose of suboxone that if the pharmacy switched it with a placebo I would never notice the difference. He said that he was part of a research study awhile back, and that 3 new-entry suboxone patients were given a placebo instead of the real suboxone for the first 2 weeks of their treatment. They were doing fine, had not relapsed, and had not had any withdrawal symptoms. At 2 weeks it was revealed to them that they had actually been taking a placebo, and bam! they instantly went into detox. Now, this is just what the doc told me, so I can't vouch for its validity (and it seems kind of cruel to do that to someone, imho)... but I certainly subscribe to the "your mind controls your body" philosophy. Take me yesterday... I went from full blown hellish detox to feeling very ok in a matter of an hour or so. You think my body actually recovered that much in such a little time? Or possibly my mind was playing tricks on me trying to get a fix? I think the latter, but all that really matters was that I felt better and did better and had a good evening last night. A lot of this whole thing is mind over matter, we just have to learn how to do it.

Thanks for sharing and you are doing so great! Keep in touch... I'll be around. Feel free to pm me or whatever if you need an ear...

Opio

As far as the mind over matter goes I agree that your mind can have a big influence on the withdrawal. The more you are anxious and worried about what is to come the worse it ends up being.

A case in point is the fact that it was common for me to barely have the energy to so much as stand up during points of the withdrawal. However, if I was going to relapse and someone told me I had to walk 5 miles to get that bag I would have done it. Maybe I would have crapped myself on the way, but I would have suddenly had the energy to walk or run to wherever.

By the way, congrats on day 5.

Finally12

Yes, TOTALLY agree about the mental thing, I think that the fact that I have to do this now is helping me through. I start my career at the end of August and I really want to be off these plus I don't want to have to take off every month to go to the dr. But yea, I remember being in active addiction and in total w/d, can't get out of bed, etc, but the second someone had something I was up and running.

On a somewhat humorous note, I went to work today at my summer job (restaurant) and I was scheduled to work a private party. Turned out to be a pharmaceutical company, and they were peddling Opana. The doctor making the presentation was more of a drug pusher than any drug dealer I ever met lol. Thank God I am serious about being sober, and coupled with the fact that I have been on subs for over 1.5 yrs and am over the active addiction phase, because there was a time that listening to someone talk about pain pills for 2 hours would have pushed me over the edge!!

BrokenLilHorse

Oh I love the nice following!!!

Hi @Stillsleeping!!!

@Opio - too funny about walking to get drugs and crapping all the way there!! Unfortunately - I totally know what you are saying!!

@Finally - Welcome!! Great job staying strong thru the worst part and sticking to your recovery!! I completely feel you on going it alone. My husband and sister (my supplier - ugh) are the only ones who know. Actually - my husband didnt even know I was using until I quit and then told him. Its a very private life this drug addiction thing! Like you - I know that I am supposed to make my addiction public in order to recover but I am not ready yet. I feel like I worked SOO hard to keep it private and succeeded, it would be great to keep it that way!! Keep staying strong and do whatever works for you!

@Dragon - I am so glad you are feeling a little better. I bet work ended up being a good distraction. I think the more you do the better!!
Yes - I have myself a small lil opie addiction. Norco was the drug of choice. I quit cold turkey from 30/day. I totally agree with your doc that the WDs can be partially mental. Or at least for me, they arent that bad. But maybe that is because I had an incredibly inconsistent (by inconsistent I guess I mean I would get 200 Norco at a time and accidentally run out in a week!) supply so I was always in WDs!! I am sooo happy that you are getting off the sub while your kids are still young. Fortunately they are young enough where they will have the chance to know you no other way. It is an amazing thing that you are doing for yourself - and them. I understand that your wife is not horribly sympathetic. She probably doesnt understand what you are going thru and she likely feels like she has taken a second place to the subs whether it is true or not. Keep up the great work and know that I am feeling awesome on day 9. Its hard to remember - but I could almost say back to normal. You are right around the corner!

Ollie909

Yes, I also agree there is a mental mind over matter issue. Today at work I was getting the sneezes, few muscle cramps, nausea, just drab, listless feeling all day. Now that I'm home I feel fine. What's up? Going to stick to .25 mgs for a little longer and then take the weekend off and see where I am. Good to hear your positive replies dragon and all. Best to everyone.

dragonfire613

Good morning gang! We do have a nice little following going here, don't we? I have to say, morning #6 is the best yet. Honestly, I haven't felt this well in the morning in ages. Years even. On the suboxone, I had a rule that I couldn't dose first thing out of bed in the morning (I would wait until I had arrived to work)... but mornings were always just waking up and immediately getting ready & get to work so I could get that dose, and THEN get on with my day. So its nice to have a slow, lazy, pleasant morning here on SR.

But now I DO have to get ready for and get myself to work. Check in with you later...

dragonfire613

That was a rough commute to work. The demon woke. It started with "If you had called the doc on Monday he'd probably be seeing you today, and this would not be such a struggle...". Sigh. This brought back just about every single memory of ever going through w/d and getting the fix that ended it. I had a little cry on the interstate.

I was reminded of one of my favorite literary characters, Daeanerys Targaryen. "If I look back, I am lost..."

The demon has receded somewhat... watching, waiting.

Take. Another. Step.

Finally12

@Broken: Yes, I agree about the privacy, also I feel like telling my family at this point would cause more harm than good. I was very much over the drug lifestyle and sought treatment, and did not relapse once for the 1.5 yrs on subs. I have absolutely no desire to take another pain pill ever again, so I think I will be ok with my secret for now.

@Dragon: Stay strong!! You've done SO good I feel like you (and I) have been through the worst as far as physical w/d symptoms..if only those damn demons would leave!!

Today has been the best so far as well. Before quitting the sub I would ride my bike ~15 miles every morning, and today was the first day I finally felt up to resuming my daily regimen. I have definitely felt like the more active I stay the better, so my biggest advice to anyone starting their kick is no matter how hard it is, get your butt moving!!! It's hard at first, but the more you lay around thinking about how horrible it is, the worse it becomes. Granted, on day 3 and 4 when I had to take the dog on a walk (not his fault his mama is sick!) my legs felt really shaky, but it helped in the long run. It helped mentally too to get out of the house and get a little sun!

dragonfire613

Ooh! Yay! Hi :o)

I hate to say it, but I've been SR stalking all day, waiting for someone to show up. Its been a roller coaster kind of day so far. Great job on the bike ride! That's freakin' impressive... I dunno if my day 6 is better than 5, but I'm hangin' in there.

Finally12

Yea, I'm sure we are both going to have those days. The important thing is that we get through them! I'm sure that like you said before, the fact that it would take you a week or so to get in helps. Just thinking about how terrible days 3 and 4 were helps me, I do NOT want to go through that again!!!

dragonfire613

Yeah I feel ya... I definitely don't want to go through that again. Today I'm trying to find a way to get motivated to get motivated, now that the physical stuff has let up, but without much luck.

Finally12

Yea, the whole motivation thing is hard. You just have to force yourself if you can, sometimes I can sometimes I can't, lol. All I know is during the last 6 days I've felt much better once I dragged myself up. Easier said than done sometimes though!!

dragonfire613

@DetoxTwin... 6 days in the books. Is it this hot up there too? Pushed a muggy 100 here today. We are kicking detox butt!

@Ollie... do you just sneeze or double sneeze? Its double sneeze for me, every time I see sunlight!

@Broken... ah those little yellow devils... that was my first legit script (once I got "smart" and followed the trail to the dirty doctors), and I know exactly what you mean. (Good lord that's alot of tylenol! :o)

Well I had typed up a Norco experience that was a rather dark ending to my post, lol. So I omitted... a story for another day!

I will tell a dumb story though. There were times, many many many years ago, when the local market was dry and I was fiending so bad I would crush up regular tylenol just to put something up my nose. Man, how embarrasing, lol.

So it has turned into a pleasant evening... other than the headache, and the leg shiviees, I'm doing rather well, tyvm. See u on the flip...

Finally12

Oh yes, very hot up here, humid too, yuck. Nice and cool at 7:30am when I went on my ride but got hot very quick after that. You sound like your day got better, a more positive vibe to your post. At least it seemed as much. It always makes me smile when I refer to someone "sounding" a certain way when referring to typing, but you know what I mean!

And regarding the sneezing, omg!! During the first 4 days I could not stop sneezing constantly!! I had to look it up, supposedly it is a common occurrence for those getting off subs. It was starting to worry me, lol. It is not AS bad now, but I am still sneezing a decent amount lol.

Anyways, best of luck to ALL to sleep through the night, I know I'm praying I do!! If I do it will be a first since I began the kick, although last night I only woke up once, which is a great improvement!! Good luck and good night!

Day 7, here we come! Wow!!

BrokenLilHorse

I feel so bad that I log on so late! So much goes on while I am away! People are busy battling against the demon and succeeding.

Great job on day 6 - DetoxTwins. Gotta love it.

Today is day 10 for me and honestly I feel pretty darn good. I am still sleeping like crap but am hoping that will pass soon too. You guys are right behind so I am betting both of you will wake tomorrow saying "wow I feel good!". Or so I hope so!!

@dragon - yea I think my liver and kidneys are thanking me for 10 days off with a promise of forever. Your story about snorting Tylenol is too funny...god the things we did! I have sooo many stories...

I hope everyone is having a lovely evening or settling into some relaxing sleep. Keep up the great work everyone!

Ollie909

Really like this thread. Everyone's in the same boat, so to speak. Let's roll with it and
do it. I dosed a crumbs worth about .25mgs today. It isn't doing much however I'm still sleeping and maintaining, but have the Yes, dragon, double sneezes and all the W/D effects. Going to keep on with this taper thing and see how it goes. When I got off percs I was crawling around on the floor with no sleep at all. Really hope to not experience that again. Good thing is I have no craving for percs. Best to all

dragonfire613

Well I'm the first one on here today as usual... Woke up @ 5am and stayed in bed until 6... well stayed laying down until 6, I'm still in bed. I felt pretty good last night and managed to stay up till 11:30pm quite on accident, but I was hoping it would help me sleep later this morning. I was wrong, lol. Only made it to 5am today, but I'm still feeling rather refreshed.
Gonna give this one more night before I start some melatonin to see if it will help.

@ Ollie... hang in there dude, you got this.

Congrats to everyone on another sober day!

albeitslowly

Dragonfire- congrats to you for getting SO FAR! :-) how are you feeling today? I hope that all is well, and I hope you are on the upswing.

You've come so far now, why even turn back? Proud of you! Keep it up! You've GOT THIS!!