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AV wins every two months or so. tired of this.

Old 07-08-2019, 02:58 AM
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AV wins every two months or so. tired of this.

I feel as though I have to remind myself everyday and throughout the day that I have taken a Big Plan and restate the Big Plan to myself.
I also feel as though more is needed to keep my AV in check and not get hijacked by it.
I have had several "relapses" in the past while in AA or doing AVRT or a mixture of both. Been coming here and reading old post to keep AVRT fresh in my mind. I have heard it say here in the past that once you take the Big Plan, nothing more is needed, while that could be true for some, others may need daily "reminders" of sort such as a short crash course every now and then for the first couple of months at least.
What would you suggest to someone who has built in forgetters and after a month or two of sobriety let the AV take the better of him again. This has been going on for years. I have been at this for a long time and I am tired.
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Old 07-08-2019, 05:23 AM
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Keep it simple when AV talking tell it talk to the hand. Lol no real talk. Just play that tape when you get the urge . works for me. Iwndwyt
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Old 07-08-2019, 04:19 PM
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Hi Shakeel

I know very little about Rational Recovery and Big Plans.

I just know that if I'm going back to drinking, something's broke somewhere.

If you ever want more response you'll be welcome in The Newcomers forum

D
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Old 07-09-2019, 11:39 AM
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For me it was, in the end, all about values. I know that sounds sanctimonious and self-righteous, but I really do believe it. I love RR and reread it again just before getting sober for good about 15 months ago. But it was the fact that I, finally, chose to value the things that I was sacrificing to booze more than the booze that got me sober.

My family, career, body, spirit, money, dreams, every single thing - were all sacrificed on the altar of alcohol for year after year. If I drink again I will sacrifice them again. No thank you. My life is worth more than that.
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Old 07-09-2019, 10:34 PM
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shakeel, your OP is dripping with AV. It looks like separating the AV from your own thoughts is an issue. I hope I’m not offending you, it just sounds a lot like I used to talk before I made a real Big Plan.

Have you bought the book & read it twice all the way through? Have you read all 6 parts of the AVRT threads on this site? That may be a good place to get back on track.

Also, please don’t be afraid. You have the all power inside you to quit for good, right now. You are strong, and it shows because you keep coming back trying to get this thing right.

I know this is my first post, so I’ll say that I quit for good over two years ago reading these AVRT threads & Trimpey’s book...and that’s it, nothing else. It saved my life, and I only regret not doing it sooner.

I’ll be here shakeel, and so will the others. You got this!!!
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Old 07-11-2019, 05:36 AM
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AVRT is about more than just making a BP. It's not a magic cure. It's a thought filtering technique. In the early days of my quit, I was reaffirming my BP constantly. It was my mantra. "I never drink, I never drink, I never drink." Even to this day I have to remind myself occasionally. It's about filtering the thoughts before they reach the intensity of picking up. As soon as the thoughts start, they are recognized as AV, not YOU, and dismissed. Not replaced... simply recognize, dismiss. Letting the thoughts run rampant through your mind and doing your best to resist them is white knuckling, not AVRT. It is a learned skill.

I used AVRT, but I also used SR. I found it helpful to stay busy and distracted.

Hope you keep posting.
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Old 09-07-2019, 07:28 PM
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Hi shakeel,
My first thought was what msl999 also said. You are not recognizing and separating from the AV. I would suggest reading the RR book if you haven't already done so, and rereading if you have. It will help you really dial in on understanding what's happening with you.

Never believe for a second that you cannot do this. Self-doubt is straight AV and is designed to keep you drinking. You can do this and you will do this! This is, after all, what YOU truly want. The key is putting a clear line of demarcation between YOU and IT and then never engaging. The engaging is what wears you down, that's why it is not recommended. It is hard to dismiss if you don't have a clear recognition and separation. Once you do, it becomes automatic to dismiss AV.
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Old 09-07-2019, 07:38 PM
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Originally Posted by lessgravity View Post
For me it was, in the end, all about values. I know that sounds sanctimonious and self-righteous, but I really do believe it. I love RR and reread it again just before getting sober for good about 15 months ago. But it was the fact that I, finally, chose to value the things that I was sacrificing to booze more than the booze that got me sober.

My family, career, body, spirit, money, dreams, every single thing - were all sacrificed on the altar of alcohol for year after year. If I drink again I will sacrifice them again. No thank you. My life is worth more than that.
i love every word of this post.
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Old 09-08-2019, 03:02 AM
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I recommend ordering the SMART Recovery Handbook online. I believe it grew out of RR and incorporates a simplified version of AVRT (called DISARM), but also other aspects that make you think more of balanced living/mental health.

I've come to see I've been using the tools more than I realised.
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Old 09-08-2019, 09:16 AM
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Hi shakeel, an AVRT purist would likely discourage this, but I'd suggest that the "something more" you might need or benefit from is regular interaction with other people who've had their own problematic experiences with addiction.

O
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Old 10-10-2019, 09:59 AM
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You are not powerless! YOU have the power. You are in control.
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Old 10-10-2019, 06:23 PM
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welcome, lion.
glad you found your power.
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Old 10-10-2019, 06:49 PM
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Welcome Powerful and Handsome Lion
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Old 10-10-2019, 08:31 PM
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Welcome aboard THL

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Old 10-11-2019, 02:10 AM
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Welcome to SR, The HandsomeLion 😊.
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Old 10-14-2019, 08:23 PM
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Wrong place, sorry
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Old 10-14-2019, 09:29 PM
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Originally Posted by shakeel View Post
What would you suggest to someone who has built in forgetters and after a month or two of sobriety let the AV take the better of him again.
I feel that you are personifying the AV too much and giving it power by doing so. Our thoughts are only thoughts. Nothing more. They only have the power that we give them. The average person has 70,000 thoughts a day and only 24 hours to process them. With such a large number of thoughts and so little time, we need to be selective about which thoughts we spend time on and which we just let pass right on through. Any time spent on negative counter productive thoughts, means less time available for positive productive thoughts. Feed the productive thoughts and give them life. Let the counter productive thoughts die from malnutrition.
Leave your front door and your back door open. Allow your thoughts to come and go. Just don't serve them tea.
Shunryu Suzuki
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Old 10-15-2019, 03:19 AM
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Originally Posted by nez View Post
I feel that you are personifying the AV too much and giving it power by doing so. Our thoughts are only thoughts. Nothing more. They only have the power that we give them.
I love this! I stopped drinking for two and a half years, by making a Big Plan to ignore the AV, that was the voice of the desire to drink - the Beast. The Beast being that part of my brain that was the seat of the drive to drink, the addiction. I drank again, broke my Big Plan.

This time around, Im viewing the Beast as a Parasite instead. Thereby removing power from my AV thoughts. Parasites are weak and puny and cannot survive without the host, whereas a Beast is powerful. Just words, I know, but this new mental construct is helping me immensely.

70,000 thoughts a day, wow! Were essentially pre-programmed.....and have to override it!
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Old 10-24-2019, 12:23 PM
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For starters and not just grammatically , you don't take a BP, you make one.

The power is in you , it doesn't come from anywhere else.

It's there find it , you can.

rootin for ya
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Old 11-03-2019, 01:01 AM
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I read everyone of your replies guys, great stuff. Thank you
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