Hi shakeel,
My first thought was what msl999 also said. You are not recognizing and separating from the AV. I would suggest reading the RR book if you haven't already done so, and rereading if you have. It will help you really dial in on understanding what's happening with you.
Never believe for a second that you cannot do this. Self-doubt is straight AV and is designed to keep you drinking. You can do this and you will do this! This is, after all, what YOU truly want. The key is putting a clear line of demarcation between YOU and IT and then never engaging. The engaging is what wears you down, that's why it is not recommended. It is hard to dismiss if you don't have a clear recognition and separation. Once you do, it becomes automatic to dismiss AV.