silentrun

It is a natural urge. Why do you think you have crossed the line into addiction?

eternalLiberty

That is what usually my addictive voice says to me ... But we could say drinking is also a natural urge, we need to drink water or then we will die. Drinking has place in water but not in alchool, as sex as place in marriage but for me not out of it in any form.

silentrun

So you are going for no sexual urges then?

eternalLiberty

I think its not about avoiding urges, AVRT is for recognizing them for what they are, a try for the BEAST convince you to act. But you could act even without urges, the AV searches for the urges before they happen, this is your AV working, it searches for urges even if they are not there, if they are there, the AV says that you must act on them. The BEAST is a buddy of the AV, and the AV tries to put you in the middle, so they can sourround you and kill you.

I guess is also like asking are you going for no drinking urges? Am i right?

GerandTwine

There's a 30 page chapter in "The Art of AVRT" by Jack Trimpey, 2010 titled "Sexual Error and Your Sex Beast." It is comprehensive and detailed.

silentrun

The drinking urges did go away.

eternalLiberty

I only read the new cure book, but not the art of avrt, is there any way i can buy this book digitally or get the 30 page or some quotes of it in this forum? I know i can buy it in normal format. but right now i cant for personal reasons. I would rather buy it digitally somehow, but its not available on this format.

eternalLiberty

Of course if you continued to drink the urges would continue, if you continue on sexual error the urges will continue, so i believe the same will happen to sex urges and it will if we quit this addiction

dwtbd

The gist of RR/AVRT , as far as I understand it, is that the beast or AV is a hijacked portion of the mid/lizard 'brain', that part of us hardwired to respond to urges for survival/evolutionary purposes. That part that utilises urges to indicate action, in addiction the doc and the urge to experience intoxication is somewhat supplanted into or combines with the midbrain and becomes mistaken for a survival need. It would seem that sexual urges are pre-hardwired in that 'system' naturally or normally.
Behavioural changes to deal with obssessive complusive tendencies , curbing of sexual addictions, sexual urges or behaviour beyond healthy normal levels, seems like something an AVRT approach could help with, but I am not sure if the same methodology would be fruitful in ending an urge that is considered 'normal' or hardwired.
It seems to me that would need to come from a cultural/religious/philosophic realm.

eternalLiberty

Hi dwtbd,

I just can related this sentence to my AV, and apply addiction diction: "but IT IS not sure if the same methodology would be fruitful in ending an urge that IT considers 'normal' or hardwired."
I mean if that was the case, why is there so many people that are celibates no matter what urge they have?

Another thought is "ending an urge". When quitting drinking, AVRT has not the purpose of ending urges, that is pure AV, because if we do not end them then we must drink, drug, sex, etc.

And AVRT has chapters about ending any form of sexual error forever, if this is agains our own better judgement.

The problem here is that even if you say to someone who wants to get drunk forever, that others can use AVRT to end this addiction, he will answer in the same way, considering it "normal" to drink, but it is not normal for those who know it isnt. Dont forget it that drinking water is also "wired" in our brains, but it doesnt mean you have to drink alchool or drugs. For me the same with sex outside of marriage.

For example, i dont know what is your belief in having any kind of sex outside marriage, that is not of my concern. But suppose your belief is that there is no problem with that, what would the beast say if you decided to quit any form of sex outside of marriage? See there, it just screamed.

dwtbd

etlib
lol, I'm married for over 20 yrs, so celibacy and me go hand in hand

silentrun

LOL I didn't want to spoil it for the OP but the whole masturbation thing really took off after getting married. I grew up in a very religious household so I can see where this is a real issue for the OP. There are people who consider any thing of this nature as unclean and displeasing to God. Colossians 3:5 was used on me but I am sure it is not just Christians who have a problem with what they consider sexual impurity.

eternalLiberty

For anyone who doesnt know it, drug addiction affects exacly the same reward systems in the brain. Here is one study about it:

The situation is complicated by the fact that orgasm itself creates a drug-like high. Dutch scientist Gert Holstege observed, while viewing scans of men ejaculating, that the scans reminded him of scans of people shooting heroin. ("Brain activation during human male ejaculation" Brain activation during human male ejaculation. - PubMed - NCBI) Masturbation to porn is a double neurochemical hit: the rush of watching extreme material and the reinforcing rush of orgasm, both of which rapidly consolidate learning--i.e., wiring in the synapses.

This means that sex can be used like a drug to get highs. Same high you have on alchool and heroine. So as you see the sources of urges are exacly the same, for example wish of you who were on drugs, when you got the urge or when you sudenlly knew you have the oportunity to get the drug or alchool, what did you felt?

Did your heart beat rapidly?
Did you felt a warm feeling passing trought your brain and you fellt a ahhhhhhhh at the same time?
Did your hands started to shake?
Did you felt the sense of "its to late to avoid this"

If so, then you had the same symptoms that the one´s with sexual addictions have.

eternalLiberty

There are lots of studies and research that shows sex addiction and porn is a real problem for anyone who get hooked on it. The people on this addictions feel miserable after having the hit, they feel bad with them selfs, like drug addicts. Of course, there are also drugs addicts that feel good and normal about being drug or alchool addicts. But there are others like you all that consider alchool or drugs "an impurity" in the real sense of the word, and abstain from these.

So the same happens in the field of sex, some consider it normal to being hooked with porn and having sex binges, thats their problem and concern. But that doesnt mean or justifies this sexual behaviour, like saying it is "natural need" or "hardwired". In fact that is what drugs and alchool are for the one´s who like to be engaged in those addictions. They say, its my genes, its my brain, its hardwired, its a need, bla, bla

silentrun

It is a real problem. It is just hard to tell if that is what you are talking about. If you are using porn then you very well may have an addiction. It is up to you to decide if it is getting in the way of having the life you want anyway.

eternalLiberty

Not using porn. Masturbation it self and the various forms of it can be like a drug addiction, doesnt need to be on porn.

silentrun

My dealer is a pushover.

anattaboy

I took "Big" quite literally. It is big enough to fit all of me now and what I will ever become--as big as the whole universe. No wiggle room at all. Like the universe it will expand and contain me well into the far future--like forever and beyond. Never will I have betrayal of self for that is beneath my dignity. It was like an audible click for me and I only read "AVRT Explained" by Freshsart57 for that to happen. Later I read the crash course and it solidified what was in my core. No more hurting me. I don't want what she has to offer (mine is a siren). Great thread by Jazzfish here just yesterday on "getting it". May you slay your Beast NOW! Onward!

soberlicious

An "audible click"...I love that anattaboy!!!

soberlicious

Of course. This is not news.

But if you're talking AVRT, then look at Trimpey's definition of addiction. "Addiction exists only in a state of ambivalence" and "Addiction is known only to the individual". Read illusion 3 starting on page 58 of The New Cure. If someone is using porn or masturbation against their better judgement, then, yeah...ambivalence. Otherwise, no, so no addiction.