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Old 12-27-2011, 12:31 PM
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One Month Today

I've patiently wended my way through a first month of sobriety. It's not my first time to get this far, but I intend it to be my last (in that I don't intend to return to drinking). Physically, there's been turmoil, as I try to find a feeling of "normalcy" and rediscover healthy sleeping patterns. Mentally, I've been solidly committed, while weathering some nagging trepidations over Christmas... my first sober one in a long long time.

At the moment, I'm not feeling all that talkative about it. I've mostly dealt with things internally, and don't have any/many close friends who have been down this road. Mostly, I just want to establish a connection with others who have walked and are walking this road. Having been this far before, and failed (usually within a day or two of the one month mark, and only once lasting to day 38... back in October), I'm preemptively seeking support from others that I believe I may need in the days and weeks ahead.

I post here, because I've searched long and far for non-12-step support, and there isn't much out there. I've found one forum (not sure if I can mention names, so I won't) that seems to have an approach that is in the generally right direction for me, but participation is light.

Elsewhere (and particularly here, outside of this little subforum haven), the answer always seems to be: "go to meetings, work the steps, get a sponsor." Not only is that not an approach that I see as working for me, I believe its omnipresence, to the exclusion of more intellectually-based courses, has made it more difficult for me to find my way in the past.

I post here in hopes of finding serious, abstinence-based support that might help me make my own way down the road to a sober, more complete life.

Thanks for any encouragement and words of wisdom.
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Old 12-27-2011, 12:47 PM
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Congrats on one month. That's a great achievement.
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Old 12-27-2011, 01:54 PM
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I'm only a few days further along than you are (was a month on Saturday), and it sounds like we're in the same boat. I'm not sure if we have the same reasons for avoiding the 12-steppers (lack of belief in any higher power is mine), but at least know that you are not alone. I've found that just posting in the newcomer's daily support threads has been a big help for me.
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Old 12-27-2011, 04:52 PM
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Today is turning into a challenging day. I've done my best to keep my workload as light as possible during the first month, but end of year issues are forcing me to push pretty hard today, and I've had a few of the "I can taste it" variety of craves. Mostly momentary (as far as the actual craves go) but generally high anxiety for most of the day.

I also guess that, since I'm at a point when I have often relapsed in the past, my junky side is looking for an opportunity.

Also, end of year expense report is going over months of travel, and each hotel that comes up brings up memories of the bottle of brandy or other available liquor with which I anesthetized myself most nights on the road. Trying to counter the seemingly pleasant visions of numb euphoria with the 5 am horrors of sleeplessness as the alcohol wore off and withdrawal began to set in.

False Panacea be gone!
Not in danger. But, having a grind of a day.
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Old 12-28-2011, 01:00 AM
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now what?
 
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Hi, rpec86. Have you checked out Rational Recovery?

Last edited by shockozulu; 12-28-2011 at 09:42 AM. Reason: removed RR link per SR policy
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Old 12-28-2011, 01:25 AM
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Originally Posted by huntress View Post
Hi, rpec86. Have you checked out Rational Recovery?
I have, and I like their approach. But do they have an online support forum?

I really feel isolated going through this on my own. I have supportive family, but nobody who understands what I'm going through, or why I find myself here. I clicked around a bit at RR and couldn't find a forum.

Last edited by shockozulu; 12-28-2011 at 09:43 AM. Reason: remove quoted RR link
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Old 12-28-2011, 01:35 AM
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Originally Posted by rpec86 View Post
I have, and I like their approach. But do they have an online support forum?

I really feel isolated going through this on my own. I have supportive family, but nobody who understands what I'm going through, or why I find myself here. I clicked around a bit at RR and couldn't find a forum.
Yes, but you have to register.
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Old 12-28-2011, 05:53 AM
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Originally Posted by rpec86 View Post
I have, and I like their approach. But do they have an online support forum?

I really feel isolated going through this on my own. I have supportive family, but nobody who understands what I'm going through, or why I find myself here. I clicked around a bit at RR and couldn't find a forum.
Rational Recovery does have a forum, and it is good for learning about AVRT, but the very first thing you'll learn there is that AVRT is about staying abstinent without support.
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Old 12-28-2011, 09:28 AM
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Originally Posted by Terminally Unique View Post
Rational Recovery does have a forum, and it is good for learning about AVRT, but the very first thing you'll learn there is that AVRT is about staying abstinent without support.
Does that include in the short term? I mean, sure, I get that I need to be able to stand on my own two feet with my sobriety over the long haul. But, at 31 days of sobriety, this is still new and frightening. I'm still dealing with a lot of anxiety and sleep issues. I haven't faced a lot of the really difficult situations I know I will encounter as my sobriety matures. Sure would help to have some knowledgeable, experienced people who could lend a voice of educational support, and maybe occasionally, just "hang in there, guy; we've all been there, and it gets better."

Surely, the paradigm can't be: Support, but only with God, ammends and helplessness vs. you're on your own, Bub. Right?
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Old 12-28-2011, 09:44 AM
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Originally Posted by rpec86 View Post
Surely, the paradigm can't be: Support, but only with God, ammends and helplessness vs. you're on your own, Bub. Right?
Sure it can.

On your own
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Old 12-28-2011, 09:45 AM
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Congrats! That was the hardest chip I earned. In fact, I still have it.
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Old 12-28-2011, 10:27 AM
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now what?
 
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Originally Posted by rpec86 View Post
Does that include in the short term? I mean, sure, I get that I need to be able to stand on my own two feet with my sobriety over the long haul. But, at 31 days of sobriety, this is still new and frightening. I'm still dealing with a lot of anxiety and sleep issues. I haven't faced a lot of the really difficult situations I know I will encounter as my sobriety matures. Sure would help to have some knowledgeable, experienced people who could lend a voice of educational support, and maybe occasionally, just "hang in there, guy; we've all been there, and it gets better."
AVRT is meant to get you there without help, I think.

However, I get what you're saying. It is nice to have people notice what you're doing and appreciate it on some level. You're welcome to use this board for that, as well as to discuss whatever method of recovery you've found that works for you.

Surely, the paradigm can't be: Support, but only with God, ammends and helplessness vs. you're on your own, Bub. Right?
Right.

Well, that's one paradigm, but certainly not the only one, thank the gods I don't believe in.

d
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Old 12-28-2011, 11:37 AM
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Thanks d.
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