Today is turning into a challenging day. I've done my best to keep my workload as light as possible during the first month, but end of year issues are forcing me to push pretty hard today, and I've had a few of the "I can taste it" variety of craves. Mostly momentary (as far as the actual craves go) but generally high anxiety for most of the day.
I also guess that, since I'm at a point when I have often relapsed in the past, my junky side is looking for an opportunity.
Also, end of year expense report is going over months of travel, and each hotel that comes up brings up memories of the bottle of brandy or other available liquor with which I anesthetized myself most nights on the road. Trying to counter the seemingly pleasant visions of numb euphoria with the 5 am horrors of sleeplessness as the alcohol wore off and withdrawal began to set in.
False Panacea be gone!
Not in danger. But, having a grind of a day.