Do You Ever Feel?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
No offense to anyone, because I have been frustrated at times too in my 4 years here.....
but I've found if I lose sight of the fact that these are real people with real problems - or I find I can't quite empathise anymore with how it felt to be here in those first days - I invariably need a break.
D
but I've found if I lose sight of the fact that these are real people with real problems - or I find I can't quite empathise anymore with how it felt to be here in those first days - I invariably need a break.
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Rural OK
Posts: 329
AnthoyV,
Although I appreciate what you quoted, I have found thru experience that it just won’t work out that way. I am 60 years old and have 7 grown children the oldest being 41 and the youngest 23. I have learned by experience that though I would love to do all the things I want to do it is just not feasible because of financial restraints. I try to enjoy life to the fullest, but it still requires that I hold down some sort of gainful employment (not always what I want to do but is necessary to pay the bills, get the kids thru college and meet all the needs of my family). If I did only what I love to do, it would not pay the bills that are required to support my family, therefore I sacrifice my desire to fulfill their needs. Is there any other way that would make this possible?
1. I found the love of my life 25 years ago and am more in love and more in unity than when we first met. We have a lovely and loving family that are within 100 miles of us who we can see anytime we wish. I am totally satisfied with the relationship we have with our children and grandchildren.
The biggest problem I see with your quote (dream) is that life is full of compromises. We can’t always do only what satisfies our desires. We must consider the lives of those we love and do all we can to help them to advance their r lives.
This was not meant to be a negative comment on your post, because I liked it very much. It’s just that in reality, life is not always what we want but it consists of the cards we are dealt and we are forced to play the cards we have.
Although I appreciate what you quoted, I have found thru experience that it just won’t work out that way. I am 60 years old and have 7 grown children the oldest being 41 and the youngest 23. I have learned by experience that though I would love to do all the things I want to do it is just not feasible because of financial restraints. I try to enjoy life to the fullest, but it still requires that I hold down some sort of gainful employment (not always what I want to do but is necessary to pay the bills, get the kids thru college and meet all the needs of my family). If I did only what I love to do, it would not pay the bills that are required to support my family, therefore I sacrifice my desire to fulfill their needs. Is there any other way that would make this possible?
1. I found the love of my life 25 years ago and am more in love and more in unity than when we first met. We have a lovely and loving family that are within 100 miles of us who we can see anytime we wish. I am totally satisfied with the relationship we have with our children and grandchildren.
The biggest problem I see with your quote (dream) is that life is full of compromises. We can’t always do only what satisfies our desires. We must consider the lives of those we love and do all we can to help them to advance their r lives.
This was not meant to be a negative comment on your post, because I liked it very much. It’s just that in reality, life is not always what we want but it consists of the cards we are dealt and we are forced to play the cards we have.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,955
Welcome to (posting on) SoberRecovery Content1. I hope you will continue to give and receive support here. Lots of good people here at SR
It can be discouraging for me to see people stuck in addiction, especially when they don't seem to be seeking any solutions. I feel a person can only discuss the problem for so long and then its time to try out new behaviors. But I guess its easy or something to just go over and over with whats wrong. Then again addiction is very difficult to overcome and for great many its the only way a person knows how to live.
I know when I started my addiction (dual-diagnosis actually) treatment journey I was strongly encourage to seek my own solutions. It didn't take me long to see how much more helpful it was to find my own answers than trying to shove myself into mold that was cast for somebody else. Then again there many common treatments for addiction and everybody has some wisdom to impart for the addict still suffering.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Sigh.....you all had this great conversation when I wasn't around....how rude
Content1....welcome to SR!
Anthony...I love the post...but also agree with luckedog....while I have no family of my own to tie me down I have also been trying to follow my bliss for 10 years now...and yes some of that time I was plastered but not the whole time. If you have an idea about how to pay the bills while trying to make it as an artist I would love to hear it
Yes sometimes I want tO step through the internet and smack someone upside Thx head...that's a sign to get offline for a bit
Content1....welcome to SR!
Anthony...I love the post...but also agree with luckedog....while I have no family of my own to tie me down I have also been trying to follow my bliss for 10 years now...and yes some of that time I was plastered but not the whole time. If you have an idea about how to pay the bills while trying to make it as an artist I would love to hear it
Yes sometimes I want tO step through the internet and smack someone upside Thx head...that's a sign to get offline for a bit
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 223
Its 30 days for me tomorrow
Way back then I would get caught up in all the drama of the alcoholism forum, now I find it exhausting
There is the odd one that I really feel for but for me at the moment I need to fill my freshly sober self with more positive stuff
This forum has been great for that. Thanks guys!
Way back then I would get caught up in all the drama of the alcoholism forum, now I find it exhausting
There is the odd one that I really feel for but for me at the moment I need to fill my freshly sober self with more positive stuff
This forum has been great for that. Thanks guys!
Proud Neonephalist
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: North Coast BC Canada
Posts: 1,141
I hear you loud and clear.
My last post was 5 days ago, and the one before that was a week ago. As my health is getting better my computer time has been shrinking.
I used to come to SR at least 5 times a day, read dozens of posts, and would get into some pretty heated debates. Some people like to have the same discussion or argument time and time again...once I "get it out of my system" I'm done with it, and couldn't be bothered debating the same thing over and over.
Very rarely now I'll make a comment to a newcomer. My theory is if they're really into using SR to its fullest potential they'll read back through the threads that interest them, discover the scientific articles links, or this secular section where logic instead of faith or dogma resides.
These days I come on once or twice a day and just check the one year and under thread, and the Secular forum to check up on my friends
Murray
My last post was 5 days ago, and the one before that was a week ago. As my health is getting better my computer time has been shrinking.
I used to come to SR at least 5 times a day, read dozens of posts, and would get into some pretty heated debates. Some people like to have the same discussion or argument time and time again...once I "get it out of my system" I'm done with it, and couldn't be bothered debating the same thing over and over.
Very rarely now I'll make a comment to a newcomer. My theory is if they're really into using SR to its fullest potential they'll read back through the threads that interest them, discover the scientific articles links, or this secular section where logic instead of faith or dogma resides.
These days I come on once or twice a day and just check the one year and under thread, and the Secular forum to check up on my friends
Murray
Proud Neonephalist
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: North Coast BC Canada
Posts: 1,141
For some reason windows of perception started opening up at nine months sober, and I'm really enjoying the view!
I haven't searched for or worked towards anything in my recovery, but rather have just let things unfold naturally. Waves of artistic motivation should be sweeping along in the next month or so, as I've been noticing the comparative "weights" and relationships of objects recently. I'll give it a year, and if the artistic side of me doesn't fully reappear on its own, then I'll go looking for it.
You know how you have a few lifelong friends from high school, college, or other pivotal times in your life? You guys are like that with me. If we were to ever meet, I'd be balling my eyes out...nobody else on this earth knows what it takes to break free from alcohols grip, and to have shared that with you creates a bond between us that even our spouse's can never understand. Love you guys!
Murray
I haven't searched for or worked towards anything in my recovery, but rather have just let things unfold naturally. Waves of artistic motivation should be sweeping along in the next month or so, as I've been noticing the comparative "weights" and relationships of objects recently. I'll give it a year, and if the artistic side of me doesn't fully reappear on its own, then I'll go looking for it.
You know how you have a few lifelong friends from high school, college, or other pivotal times in your life? You guys are like that with me. If we were to ever meet, I'd be balling my eyes out...nobody else on this earth knows what it takes to break free from alcohols grip, and to have shared that with you creates a bond between us that even our spouse's can never understand. Love you guys!
Murray
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 133
What I find helpful on this forum...using the search feature and/or reading the archives where I find people who have had similar problems and what solutions they have foud. For example - wondering whether I can moderate? Answer: Most likely NOT because no one who drinks normally has to wonder.
Why do I feel so anxious? Answer: Alcohol is a depressant however, it is a wonderful drug to relieve anxiety quickly but when it wears off.....LOOK OUT.
How can I stay sober? answer: Stop drinking!
To me all of these questions have a logical and scientific answer. There is nothing mysterious. I want to drink because I like it. Unfortunately, it makes me crazy so I can't drink.
To paraphrase a Seinfeld episode...."No, drink for you!"....NEXT!
Why do I feel so anxious? Answer: Alcohol is a depressant however, it is a wonderful drug to relieve anxiety quickly but when it wears off.....LOOK OUT.
How can I stay sober? answer: Stop drinking!
To me all of these questions have a logical and scientific answer. There is nothing mysterious. I want to drink because I like it. Unfortunately, it makes me crazy so I can't drink.
To paraphrase a Seinfeld episode...."No, drink for you!"....NEXT!
i've done my almost
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,934
You know what makes this thread good (and all other threads for that matter)?
Honesty.
Willingness.
Kindness.
Helpfulness.
...and "open-mindedness"
I'd say this thread "fits the bill".
Supercrew - you're one of my favorite "non AA's" on SR and I appreciate you man.
Kjell~
Honesty.
Willingness.
Kindness.
Helpfulness.
...and "open-mindedness"
I'd say this thread "fits the bill".
Supercrew - you're one of my favorite "non AA's" on SR and I appreciate you man.
Kjell~
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 2,405
When I joined SR I'd already been sober nearly 2 yrs and thought I had a lot of wisdom to share....I quickly realized or was advised that "my way" to sobriety ws not acceptable and I also quickly got burned out on reading about all the relapses and failed attempts at sobriety so I quit posting. After another year I started posting more again but with much more caution, there are a couple of people that I have followed their stories and I feel joy in their recovery, I too tend to stay out of the newcomers section most of the time as I don't have much empathy left, and I mostly only post in the Fitness, Women's and Secular sections if at all.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 165
I brought this up as a similar topic in a SMART Recovery meeting a few weeks back. I posed the question of how do we know when we are ready to move on from meetings. SMART doesn't believe that life long attendance of meetings is necessary, that one can successfully defeat their addictive behavior and move on with life. My point was that I was growing tired of talking about my destructive alcohol abuse (and listening about others) and that outside of meetings I just don't think about it anymore. I did conclude that I should continue to attend at least once a week for a full year.
The reason I posted the "This is your Life" inspirational is because if you feel you are ready to move on and that hanging with recovering people is holding you back from you becoming recovered then you shouldn't feel guilty about moving on. There is no requirement that you have to stick around to hear the next story. I know that may sound selfish, and I'm probably going to catch flack for it, but shouldn't that be what we all should be wishing for one another? The ability to mend our broken wings and be free to fly (OMG-I think I just quoted some lyrics from an 80's song). And I do realize that many, myself included, get great joy out of helping others in recovery but sometimes you have to step back and realize there really is more to life than just recovery.
The reason I posted the "This is your Life" inspirational is because if you feel you are ready to move on and that hanging with recovering people is holding you back from you becoming recovered then you shouldn't feel guilty about moving on. There is no requirement that you have to stick around to hear the next story. I know that may sound selfish, and I'm probably going to catch flack for it, but shouldn't that be what we all should be wishing for one another? The ability to mend our broken wings and be free to fly (OMG-I think I just quoted some lyrics from an 80's song). And I do realize that many, myself included, get great joy out of helping others in recovery but sometimes you have to step back and realize there really is more to life than just recovery.
i've done my almost
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,934
Originally Posted by AnthonyV 
The reason I posted the "This is your Life" inspirational is because if you feel you are ready to move on and that hanging with recovering people is holding you back from you becoming recovered then you shouldn't feel guilty about moving on. There is no requirement that you have to stick around to hear the next story. I know that may sound selfish, and I'm probably going to catch flack for it, but shouldn't that be what we all should be wishing for one another?.
No "flack" here, but if we all moved on once we felt "recovered", then who would be here for the next person in line who is struggling?
Don't we have some sort of responsability?
Kjell~
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