allforcnm

Im only stopping by for a minute tonight... I wanted to share some news about the Halloween Costumes.. for those that don't know.. I made my son a BUG Halloween costume (started it weeks ago, with a theme planned for me and my husband also.. a ladybug, and a bug catcher guy)

But then when we were shopping he fell in love with a horse costume... and wore it for days.

So, Saturday we went to a kids party in the day and he wore the bug costume.. GO BUG.. then tonight the church had a little haunted house for the young kids and passed out candy... he wore the horse... LOL so its 1:1 right now..

More events this week... Im actually happy he likes them both, and is having fun.. also he is so sweet, he shares his candy with mom & dad...

cleaninLI

Good morning guys!

Just a quick check-in. I think I left some questions unanswered. Sorry blue....know I'm scatterbrained at times.... well most of the time! ;-)

No my son has never had a "bad animal experience". It's just him being him. Ha! My girls are all so brave...but my son....not so much. But like I told allfor last night....he's not at all afraid of roller coasters or other high and fast amusement park rides.....I am! So I guess we all have our quirks. Ha!

Butter you're welcome! Hope you feel better today.

Blue we missed you over the weekend...did you end up going on your little trip anyway?

Allfor I'll bet your son was adorable in both costumes! It's good he has two....it looks like he has quite a few Halloween activities to go to. So sweet of him to share! Ha! That's part of the fun for parents....dressing up your little ones (taking lots of pics) and picking thru their candy. Sometimes I wondered if I enjoyed more than my kids! They were excited to go trick or treating....but would get tired easily...then I'd be like "well just finish off this block at least...or why don't we stop into McDonald's or Dunkin Donuts? Lol I can be such a kid sometimes! Ha!

Ok...tired, was up way too late last night. Going to sleep a couple more hours. Have a great day!

PinkCloudsCharley

Hi everyone. Sorry I haven't been on here lately. My mind has been an emotional mess and this weekend was an outward mess with AH. trying to get bearings on everything, committed to plug along and work on things. Good thing is I think AH is realizing how quickly his world changes by his own design when he drinks. ugh, why is addiction so hard??

we have our first snow today, it's wet and sticky and won't stay but YUCK I hate snow! DD is excited because snow means Christmas, and DS doesn't remember snow so he's pretty excited. A mess to drive in, hard to dress little kiddos for, and doesn't make my Monday feel happy LOL! Hope it's sunny wherever all of you are!

buttercup89

What is going on here? Where is everyone? Helloo? Clean, wake up Blue, stop working
Allfor stop eating your son's candy... share it with us too

Haha, i really apologize clean, but the way you write about your son is cracking me up. I feel bad for him though... He must have a difficult life among 3 women and a bunny

Soverylost: I'm sorry about the situation with your husband. I don't really have any advice you, just some ((((hugs)))) I hope it will get better for you soon!

And i am really sorry about the snow.. It's way too early for snow, especially the "bad" one. Actually,it's a beautiful fall day out here... very nice! I send some sunshine to you

I feel better, i just try not to think about the memories and not to worry about B... i also keep my distance from the friend i told you about. I don't feel comfortable being around someone who tells me what I can talk about and what not...

Just talked with my mom. She told me to find my rich prince charming... (it's a joke between us) and she asked me if I haven't found one yet... Haha i highly doubt B is rich, but i didn't tell her that I would have found one, but he's being difficult. I mean, my plan would be so perfect and B is being difficult and boycotts my plan...

PinkCloudsCharley

Thanks, Butter. I'm glad you are feeling better about B. It's hard to love someone and think about letting them go ... big hugs. It's frustrating when they don't go along with our plans I say that a lot about AH
And thanks for the sunshine. I hate snow! LOL

buttercup89

thank you soverylost

haha oh yeah... I mean c'mon, we're smarter anyways, so they should just listen to us and go along with our plans It would make life so much easier...

I feel ya! I'm not a big fan of snow either!

I miss Blue

BlueChair

Im here, I missed all of you.

Soverlost: Im sorry your caught in the storm right now, and are having the whirlwind of emotions. I had them very bad for a while, and was so confused, frustrated, lost, and filled with feelings I didn’t understand, and worse I was torn on what to do for myself, and my marriage. The emotions seemed to rotate around. Just when I thought I had one figured out, it would change to something new and even more confusing.

Butters: Im Sooo sorry I was not around for you over the weekend when you were figuratively hit by the B train. And the store sold you an empty box too ? some little thief slipped it out of there are resealed the top? Did it get better after this? I was scared earlier, I saw a thread pop up on another forum marijuana one maybe and it was about Pressing Butter. I thought you had been kidnapped from us !

Clean: those trips with your husband sound wonderful ! I know it gets harder with kids and priorities have to change, but I look at it like these times we spend alone together create all these shared memories, and as things keep changing on our lives the shared memories will change but they are important at each stage. You and your husband have all these wonderful shared memories of the kids and I know some of them were tough but you got through it together. Do you think working together taught you more about each other, and allowed you to trust him and relate to him at an even deeper level?

Now that a year has passed for us, I feel this addiction experience has made our relationship even deeper. There were times I was afraid it would destroy us, or me, or maybe just him but now I look back and see it hasn’t.

Allfor: when I was out shopping with the girls, we were looking for a gift and going through the kids clothes. They have the cutest clothes for little girls and boys. Dresses with frilly skirts, and shirts with animals all over them for boys. For a few minutes I was thinking how much fun it would be this part of it. But then I think about all the other parts and I start thinking there must be something wrong with me, I should be anxious to have kids by now? I hope I haven’t let squirrels slide in and take their place ! During our trip at one point I was worried if husband had fed the squirrels when he got home from work, so I called him. Did you put the nuts out so they have time to eat before it gets dark? Did you give them a whole canister full? Did you see anyone waiting there? How am I ever going to have an actual child ?


Saturday I got up early and my sister and I went on a road trip and guess what? My mom came too. We marked off destinations on the map and started driving. We talked, laughed, shopped, ate, and had a full girls day. We didn’t get home until late on Saturday night. I was torn about coming back, but I think I told you all about how I was thinking about joining the church choir, and one of the girls I talked to before told me to come early before the service and sit in on their rehearsal if I wanted. I hated to skip it because I was the one who asked her for information. We went early on Sunday and both watched them rehearse. He keeps saying I should do it because I will look cute up there ! The people in the choir were all really nice and at one point they made us both go up there and sing a song with them. I think Im going to do it and they said it was ok if I wasn’t there part of the weeks because of vacation. I don’t think they plan on giving me any starring roles where they cant live without me ! Im scared and excited too.
Would you believe when I got home Saturday night he was still working. I asked him what was wrong with him, his wife is gone all day and all he does is go to work, then come home and keep working. He said he went out with the animals, fed my squirrels, showered, and ordered food.

I wouldn’t let him work on Sunday after church. Late in the day we went to IHOP. On Halloween they are serving free pancakes for kids. They get to decorate the pancakes on their own, and give them a face made of fruit or candy.

buttercup89

Bluueee you were gone too long! And you forgot to organize someone to take care after me or in other words, husbunny didn't take care for his adoptive daughter he doesn't know of

Hey, what about me?

Your weekend sounds awesome! I think it's great that you will join the choir. You will have a lot of fun! And husbunny saying that you will look cute, is so cute

Haha i don't know, but those halloween costumes for kids have something special. I saw one at target and I told allfor that I want a child, so I could put him/her into a costume. And i'm more than far way from having children...

Don't worry about it..., i was ran over by the B-train...lol i like that expression.... i feel better now and I could exchange the empty box for a full one. So it turned out okay...

BlueChair

I think if he had known about you, husbunny would have made you feed the squirrels for him. But he would have figured it in your allowance $

I forgot !!! this is funny, when we went up in the choir to sing with them, we stood next to these two older ladies maybe 70's and one of them grabbed his arm and said your so handsome and had this big smile. He told her coming from a beauty such as herself it was a compliment and she was still smiling, and then he said If I wasnt already married and she had this sweet little laugh. hes such a schmooze, he would get all the good parts if he was singing, and I will end up with the scraggly little bits.

You need the rich prince charming before kids. AND he has to meet a lot more criteria than being rich and charming! MAYBE you should spend some time hanging around Harvard Yard? You do remember you know like 5 languages and are smarter than the average bear? (its a saying, means your extra smart)

buttercup89

haha, if the allowance was good I would have done it

haha it seems as if you found a pretty charming prince charming

yeah,i've thought about that... a cute guy from harvard wouldn't be the worst rebound

BlueChair

All you have to do is walk around asking a question in French or whatever your favorite language is and find the guy that understands and replies to you. and then your eyes will meet, and cherubs will play those little stringed guitars. IK IK about the last part. Im one to talk, I was introduced to my husband through a friend and we were both dating other people at the time.


I KEEP forgetting to say HI EYES !!

buttercup89

Hi Eyes

Hi everyone

I'm first

How are you all doing today?

I'm good, about to go to my least favorite class... but all right...

Hahahah Blue, you either had too much chocolate or watched too many romantic movies... Lucky you though... I kinda hoped you found husbunny in a store and you could tell me where to get men like him

It's slow here... whatcha all doin'?

See you later ((hugs)))

BlueChair

I was not reading so much today but did pm's instead as YOU already know! Thinking about some things not feeling like sharing here. Otherwise Im good today, and was busy at work. Way too much Halloween candy being passed around, and someone is bringing cupcakes tomorrow. I think we're going to end up going to two party's this week. One of our friends is having a party on Saturday up north a bit, and Friday Im not sure we will go to this one because it may be too loud, people drinking a lot. are you going out for Halloween?

I forgot a lot of the history of witches in Massachusetts. It was the salem witch trials? Good thing you are learning our history for me !

Hi to everyone else !

buttercup89

Yes I like pm's

aww, i send you some big (((((hugs)))))

I'm going out on thursday and really want to do something awesome for halloween since it's my first and only one here...

Yes, it's the salem witch trials ;-) Sad story but salem is beautiful though. They really sell their history...

Clean, where are you? We miss you Are you ok?

BlueChair

How is everyone today?

Im feeling better having worked through my thoughts, with the help of my friends here. Your all awesome !!

buttercup89

Hi ladies!

I'm glad you're feeling better blue! I love how you always analyze your thoughts and feelings and work through them!

I'm really good today. I got my midterm back and I got an A I'm so f-ing happy and very proud of me!

How is the rest of you?


(((hugs))) to everyone

PinkCloudsCharley

Blue, your trip sounds wonderful! Glad you had a great time with your mom and sister.

Butter, Salem witch trials! That's on my bucket list! Such a sad history, but you're right, they definitely do sell their history there. Salem at Halloween must be amazing. Have a great time!

Allfor, your son's Halloween costumes sound adorable. My DS is going as Thomas the Train this year. Everything is "tee tee" (toot toot) to him right now. He even has the arm movement when he says it, like he's pulling a train whistle. Too cute!

Clean, how are you doing? How's your little bunny?

Things are ok here. Past the whirlwind of the weekend where AH was drinking and became franticly upset. He seems to get into a loop and can't work through something. This weekend it was because I asked him not to dry my sweater in the dryer, he did, it shrunk, but I said it was ok. And he could not get past that. The whole day was about him saying how he had screwed up. And then his sister's husband was assaulted in a parking lot, and that sent him over the edge. I found out he was drinking almost straight alcohol that day. I don't know how to handle this anymore.

Blue has already said she would do a GYLOS book study with me, would anyone else like to? I'm not wanting a huge thing, experts need not apply (lol), just an informal chat about each chapter, toss around some ideas, impressions, etc. I'm lost and I need to start digging into this. I feel like I'm going from one chaotic episode to the next. I need to figure some stuff out.

PinkCloudsCharley

This is all so crazy. I feel so crazy. I was raised in a loving, stable, Non-A family. I am a good person. At work, no one knows about this. I am responsible and loyal and normal and people depend on me. No one would ever know if they looked at me, this craziness that I live with. So why is my home life such a chaotic mess?

BlueChair

Soverylost,

I just sent you a pm so I wont repeat it all here. But some may remember my posting a while back about my husband having a meltdown at the grocery store when faced with so many ice cream options. And it was Real panic on his part. I can so relate to the sweater, even though to some it might seem trivial and how is that possible. In my husbands case this happened AFTER he stopped using and was related to anxiety. BUT he had similar issues when he was using and it would trigger him to use more because he couldn't cope with those negative self emotions.

I dont have any addiction or alcoholism in my family either. I think no one is prepared to deal with the instability it brings, the irrational behavior of their partner. At the same time, I know it would throw me if I had to deal with some other big medical crisis. This is where is really has made me stop and look at myself, and my own coping skills, and firming up my own support system. Work is hard, its not something I could share except my case got extreme and some people knew obviously he was hospitalized and such.

How about other family on your side, do they know?

how is Brother in Law?

buttercup89

Soverylost, I know our cases are very different and I only was confronted by a tiny part of addiction but before I knew and got involved with B. i didn't have any connection to drugs or addiction. I don't smoke cigs or even pot as so many other young people, i never got very drunk and doing harder drugs was as far aways as they can be. And suddenly, there I was, fallen for someone who would inject needles full of drugs into his veins... How could that happen? My friends who are close to me know why he ended it, my family doesn't know about him at all. Some of because it was quite a crazy story, and also i guess , because I would be worried if they found out he's in recovery from a serious drug addiction. But i guess i realized a few things... first, their disease doesn't define them. They're the men we love because of so many other reasons. I could go on and on why I love B. Unfortunately, they have this f-ing horrible disease. but that doesn't define them or us. It doesn't affect how responsible, loyal or normal we are. We aren't crazy because we love them and we don't have a problem ourselves just because we love them and care for them.
The other thing is, and I only realized this when I came here. I'm not the only one. B isn't the only one. In my closer circle here i know 3 people who have addicts in their lives/families. 1 has alcoholics and addicts... It affects more families than we think. but we don't talk about it... because we're afraid what other might think of us or our addicts...

Unfortunately, addiction comes with a lot of chaos, pain, and craziness. it affects our life badly but that doesn't mean we're bad people or something like that... ok?