Agnostics and Athiests in AA....how is it going Part 2
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: West Avalonia
Posts: 85
Hang in there, a. I remember having to make that decision for our dog. I thought I would have some support, but ended up having to do it on my own, which caused some painful resentment. It wasn't long after that I had to make the same choice for my beloved cat. In both cases, it was the humane thing to do, and I was glad to be there with them. It really was like my final act of love for them. Not that it didn't hurt, but love isn't always easy. I wanted to drink and act out and rage against the world instead. I'm glad I didn't. I have no regrets to live with now.
You are a sensitive and thoughtful person, ananda. Things are going to be OK.
You are a sensitive and thoughtful person, ananda. Things are going to be OK.
Go ask the Multivax
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,481
Originally Posted by ananda 
mkay..day 2.....gotta call the vet today....Bodhi's gettting worse...hate taking off work when i just started 
maybe vet can come after 5pm...
i'm just not clicking with my sponsor..gotta work on my part....yesterday people were congradulating me on my job...she didn't know i had one...
I don't know...i thought i told her...but...it isn't something i struggle with so i didn't talk about it in depth with her...
fact is, if it isn't something I think i need help sorting out, I don't think of telling her, and if it is something I need help sorting out, i don't trust her opinions and expereinces enough to talk about it....
I'm screwing up the sponsorship deal...
mkay....sounding negative...actually I love the new job, hate getting up at 5:30 am
AA is sorta blah right now...i seem to have lost some steam.
maybe vet can come after 5pm...i'm just not clicking with my sponsor..gotta work on my part....yesterday people were congradulating me on my job...she didn't know i had one...
I don't know...i thought i told her...but...it isn't something i struggle with so i didn't talk about it in depth with her...
fact is, if it isn't something I think i need help sorting out, I don't think of telling her, and if it is something I need help sorting out, i don't trust her opinions and expereinces enough to talk about it....
I'm screwing up the sponsorship deal...
mkay....sounding negative...actually I love the new job, hate getting up at 5:30 am
AA is sorta blah right now...i seem to have lost some steam.Do you guys have a schedule on when you get together to do step work? That really worked for me. I knew I was going to see my sponsor for an hour every Thursday to do Step work and to catch up on any big events. We didn't mess around either. Step work.
A sponsor technically is supposed to get us through the steps. To be honest, mine has so much stuff going on - I rarely call. I'm a big girl. I'll call if there's trouble with my sobriety. Otherwise, she's a friend. Just one of many I have in AA. Her advice ain't gold! :-) And I don't have to tell her everything.
SPONSOR:
Sober
Person
Offering
Newcomer
Suggestions
On
Recovery
How's the doggie?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
see..we are taking FOREVER on the steps...but you know, I lost my first sponmsor..no idea where he went...was sponsorless for a month before I gave up that one....and had to start over with this one...thus i am on the friggin dr.'s opinion....
I figure that maybe there is something for me to learn by being on step one for 4.5 months and looks like I'll be there another couple....every time we read she spends long period of times "sharing her expereinces" i listen and read...so it takes a really long time as she seems to have all sorts of stuff she wants to share about herself along the way....
We meet once a week. I call every nite at 9pm.... with the phone calls..i just don't generally have any life stuff to share...I have a lot in my head about the steps, but she wants to know what I do not what i think and what i do is go to work, work on writing, cook dinner, shop, laundry, second job, meetings, counciling...just stuff...
dang it A you made me whine... (I know I know..you didn't make me)...One of the parts i'm focusing on right now is to stop with the fault finding and arguing when it comes to AA ....
Sigh...I'm not giving up on sponsorship...for some one as arragant and inteligent and expereinced as me.....sponsorship is key ... i gotta get humble or i won't grow....
I think i've just hit the end of my ability to let go of control...so i'm gonna be asking my HP to enable me with faith.....I'll let you know how it goes
I figure that maybe there is something for me to learn by being on step one for 4.5 months and looks like I'll be there another couple....every time we read she spends long period of times "sharing her expereinces" i listen and read...so it takes a really long time as she seems to have all sorts of stuff she wants to share about herself along the way....
We meet once a week. I call every nite at 9pm.... with the phone calls..i just don't generally have any life stuff to share...I have a lot in my head about the steps, but she wants to know what I do not what i think and what i do is go to work, work on writing, cook dinner, shop, laundry, second job, meetings, counciling...just stuff...
dang it A you made me whine... (I know I know..you didn't make me)...One of the parts i'm focusing on right now is to stop with the fault finding and arguing when it comes to AA ....
Sigh...I'm not giving up on sponsorship...for some one as arragant and inteligent and expereinced as me.....sponsorship is key ... i gotta get humble or i won't grow....
I think i've just hit the end of my ability to let go of control...so i'm gonna be asking my HP to enable me with faith.....I'll let you know how it goes
Go ask the Multivax
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,481
You've been around a while Ananda - Lost some time a bit back, but you didn't lose all you learned. You're BORED! There's probably a big part in you that should be sponsoring by this time - Get a sponsor to take you through the steps. Might have to wrangle a... <<<gulp>>> Big book thumper. They're good for that! (just ditch 'em after your step work) <Did I say that outloud?>
Go ask the Multivax
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,481
I was thinkin...
My sponsor? She was a hardcore book thumper. I was a nut who couldn't think a thought. She had just celebrated three years and I was her first sponsee to get past step 3. Her big book - looked like a 12 year olds diary. Writings all over it and PHOTO's taped on pages even. She used to write in her BB things people would say in meetings that resonated with their first names, so things like "10/03/2007 - Tom T. "What use can I be for another today" Were all over the pages.
We were perfect for each other.
I no longer have no thoughts in my head and she is no longer a book thumper! ;-)
My sponsor? She was a hardcore book thumper. I was a nut who couldn't think a thought. She had just celebrated three years and I was her first sponsee to get past step 3. Her big book - looked like a 12 year olds diary. Writings all over it and PHOTO's taped on pages even. She used to write in her BB things people would say in meetings that resonated with their first names, so things like "10/03/2007 - Tom T. "What use can I be for another today" Were all over the pages.
We were perfect for each other.
I no longer have no thoughts in my head and she is no longer a book thumper! ;-)
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 14,154
Still going to AA...still doing my own thing as for a treatment program and having some excellent results. I pick-up on all the shares that go complete contrary of the program as laid out in the BB. Makes me feel right at home. As my shares concern CBT with an attempt to kinda try to tie it into the steps. But the common wisdom of 'don't use no matter what' that I hear in meetings resonate with me very well. It really gets to the basics. Then it becomes how to 'live life on life's terms'. I like these slogans, there good reminders to keep it simple.
Anywho...I get a lot out of just being in a F2F AA mutual self-help support group. And with being able to attend meetings that have a noticeable absence of the BB thumpers is California cool.
As candle light Bill sez: It may not work for you, but the meetings have keep me sober for 25 years.
Anywho...I get a lot out of just being in a F2F AA mutual self-help support group. And with being able to attend meetings that have a noticeable absence of the BB thumpers is California cool.
As candle light Bill sez: It may not work for you, but the meetings have keep me sober for 25 years.
Go ask the Multivax
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,481
<psssst....>
Wanna hear a secret?......
I'm getting weaned off my meds to give it a go. Three weeks now, another three weeks to go. Soooo.... I might get just a tad... wee... perhaps a little.... More interesting in the next week or so! ;-) I am under doctors care of course!
I started them right when I got sober. Tried life without them after a year - Went right back on! I didn't get this far off of them that time, so I already went through the same batty period relatively unscathed. There's a long line of mental illness in my family, so I'm not exactly all gung-ho on it working out. But, I am curious and we think it is okay to give it a go now three years into sobriety.
Wanna hear a secret?......
I'm getting weaned off my meds to give it a go. Three weeks now, another three weeks to go. Soooo.... I might get just a tad... wee... perhaps a little.... More interesting in the next week or so! ;-) I am under doctors care of course!
I started them right when I got sober. Tried life without them after a year - Went right back on! I didn't get this far off of them that time, so I already went through the same batty period relatively unscathed. There's a long line of mental illness in my family, so I'm not exactly all gung-ho on it working out. But, I am curious and we think it is okay to give it a go now three years into sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
well AZ...it works for some and not for others and i guess you only know by trying .... glad you'r doctor is monitoring you...and hopefully some close face to face friend cause you may not realize you've gone ape sh*t crazy till you'r really in the do-do.
I no longer know "how's it going"....I know i seem to have start muttering "********" or "dmn you" to no one in particular in my head. This is not a good sign.
I've tried to look at what the cause is without getting into over analization and i have to say that in general I'm not focused on trusting an HP within or without right now....So i'm self will run riot I guess....
Mostly I'm on a negative role...expecting the worst from people and situations....Sounds like step 2 to me....cause i think the cause of all my problems and of my misery is me....It hasn't lead to self pity yet..but it will get there if this state of mind continues ...
It's funny...gratitude isn't helping..I'm totally getting how many awsomely great things are going on in my life today....I am grateful...but i'm also not happy lol
I remember an old time sponsor of mine telling me that you can be grateful and in tremendous pain, confusion or unhapiness at the same time...sorta like you can have faith and fear at the same time....
I hate living in the gray but the truth is thats what life mostly is....
mkay..thats all for now...I'm gonna try to spend some time being creative tonight...
I no longer know "how's it going"....I know i seem to have start muttering "********" or "dmn you" to no one in particular in my head. This is not a good sign.
I've tried to look at what the cause is without getting into over analization and i have to say that in general I'm not focused on trusting an HP within or without right now....So i'm self will run riot I guess....
Mostly I'm on a negative role...expecting the worst from people and situations....Sounds like step 2 to me....cause i think the cause of all my problems and of my misery is me....It hasn't lead to self pity yet..but it will get there if this state of mind continues ...
It's funny...gratitude isn't helping..I'm totally getting how many awsomely great things are going on in my life today....I am grateful...but i'm also not happy lol
I remember an old time sponsor of mine telling me that you can be grateful and in tremendous pain, confusion or unhapiness at the same time...sorta like you can have faith and fear at the same time....
I hate living in the gray but the truth is thats what life mostly is....
mkay..thats all for now...I'm gonna try to spend some time being creative tonight...
Recovering Soul
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 92
Originally Posted by Alizerin
I was thinkin...
My sponsor? She was a hardcore book thumper. I was a nut who couldn't think a thought. She had just celebrated three years and I was her first sponsee to get past step 3. Her big book - looked like a 12 year olds diary. Writings all over it and PHOTO's taped on pages even. She used to write in her BB things people would say in meetings that resonated with their first names, so things like "10/03/2007 - Tom T. "What use can I be for another today" Were all over the pages.
We were perfect for each other.
I no longer have no thoughts in my head and she is no longer a book thumper! ;-)
My sponsor? She was a hardcore book thumper. I was a nut who couldn't think a thought. She had just celebrated three years and I was her first sponsee to get past step 3. Her big book - looked like a 12 year olds diary. Writings all over it and PHOTO's taped on pages even. She used to write in her BB things people would say in meetings that resonated with their first names, so things like "10/03/2007 - Tom T. "What use can I be for another today" Were all over the pages.
We were perfect for each other.
I no longer have no thoughts in my head and she is no longer a book thumper! ;-)
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
Do it then
I have a book that i use strictly for with my sponsor...and then i have one i carry around all the time and mark up as i like....
It's important for me to have something that helps remind me of what I learned...that means i need to remember what words mean..what expereinces i had...and just little notes keep it fresh for me so if someone else is struggling i can remember what my expereince was....
Course some people aren't so brain damaged as me lol:rotfxko
I have a book that i use strictly for with my sponsor...and then i have one i carry around all the time and mark up as i like....
It's important for me to have something that helps remind me of what I learned...that means i need to remember what words mean..what expereinces i had...and just little notes keep it fresh for me so if someone else is struggling i can remember what my expereince was....
Course some people aren't so brain damaged as me lol:rotfxko
Go ask the Multivax
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,481
Oh, everyone knows I might go batty. I'm feeling a bit more edgy than usual. But no more "depressed" (than usual!) The thing about getting anxious like that is that it doesn't show up until I get stressed over something.... Like my sisters ^$#% cat pooping in MY kids room!!!
Anywoo, told her it's her new job making sure my kids bedroom door is shut all the friggin time.
Otherwise, me and kitty are gonna go for a drive.
Anywoo, told her it's her new job making sure my kids bedroom door is shut all the friggin time.
Otherwise, me and kitty are gonna go for a drive.
Human
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 101
Originally Posted by Alizerin
I'm getting weaned off my meds to give it a go.
I like the quote from Ananda's mom. Myself, I often say the expression, "No Pain, No Gain".
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