well AZ...it works for some and not for others and i guess you only know by trying .... glad you'r doctor is monitoring you...and hopefully some close face to face friend cause you may not realize you've gone ape sh*t crazy till you'r really in the do-do.
I no longer know "how's it going"....I know i seem to have start muttering "********" or "dmn you" to no one in particular in my head. This is not a good sign.
I've tried to look at what the cause is without getting into over analization and i have to say that in general I'm not focused on trusting an HP within or without right now....So i'm self will run riot I guess....
Mostly I'm on a negative role...expecting the worst from people and situations....Sounds like step 2 to me....cause i think the cause of all my problems and of my misery is me....It hasn't lead to self pity yet..but it will get there if this state of mind continues ...
It's funny...gratitude isn't helping..I'm totally getting how many awsomely great things are going on in my life today....I am grateful...but i'm also not happy lol
I remember an old time sponsor of mine telling me that you can be grateful and in tremendous pain, confusion or unhapiness at the same time...sorta like you can have faith and fear at the same time....
I hate living in the gray but the truth is thats what life mostly is....
mkay..thats all for now...I'm gonna try to spend some time being creative tonight...