I'm not too sure I want to recover yet
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2006
Location: NJ
Posts: 6
I'm not too sure I want to recover yet
I've been drinking every other day for 5 years. I don't HAVE to drink every day. But I need to drink at least every other day.
I might have a problem.
I joined this site becaue I want to know if I do.
But I don't want people thinking I aoutomatically have a problem because I joined this forum.
I might have a problem.
I joined this site becaue I want to know if I do.
But I don't want people thinking I aoutomatically have a problem because I joined this forum.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
Welcome! Why don't you just make yourself at home and read around. There is so much information, so many wonderful people, so many life stories and lessons...for all of us. No one here will label you an alcoholic. That is a self-diagnosis only. And who knows what we might learn from you???!!!
live
live
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome to SR!
Congratulations for seeking answers to your drinking.
Alcoholism is a disease and it is progressive.
I suggest you get more factual info
My favorite book on alcoholism is
"Under The Influence"
and it has a sequel..."Beyond The Influence"
Both can be ordered from Amazon...
Glad to see a new member...we do understand and you are not alone.
Blessings...
Congratulations for seeking answers to your drinking.
Alcoholism is a disease and it is progressive.
I suggest you get more factual info
My favorite book on alcoholism is
"Under The Influence"
and it has a sequel..."Beyond The Influence"
Both can be ordered from Amazon...
Glad to see a new member...we do understand and you are not alone.
Blessings...
Member
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Tilton, NH
Posts: 8
You obviously have a habit. Now whether or not that is a problem is something you are really going to have to ponder. The fact that you're asking says that you may be thinking that you do. It doesn't matter whether wethink you have a problem; what matters is whether youthink you have a problem.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Somwhere over the rainbow
Posts: 1,175
As everyone has said, no one can tell you whether or not your drinking is a problem. It is, after all, your drinking. Ultimately you have to decide. One thing I heard when I first began coming to terms with the fact that I had a problem was helpful for me,
"If you don't have a problem with alcohol, then why are you asking or trying to determine if you do." After all, "...if there are a series of house fires in your neighbourhood, you don't wonder if you are a pyromaniac do you?"
Good luck, Levi
"If you don't have a problem with alcohol, then why are you asking or trying to determine if you do." After all, "...if there are a series of house fires in your neighbourhood, you don't wonder if you are a pyromaniac do you?"
Good luck, Levi
Member
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Fight ... WIN!!
Posts: 118
Hello! I'm pretty new here too and felt a bit the same when I got here. I "lurked" for a few days, thinking "well, I never got a DUI, never missed work, never blacked out or passed out - can I be an alcoholic? And after all, I really enjoy drinking - it's fun!" Reading posts from different folks really helped me look at my own behavior (and I learned a new term "functional alcoholic" - ouch, that shoe fit!). I remember when I first read of someone who alternated liquor store purchases so the checkout people wouldn't realize how much booze they were buying - I laughed when I read it and blushed like crazy, thinking (OMG, I DO THAT! I thought I was so clever!).
The kicker for me was realizing how much I thought about alcohol - I planned my weekends around it, turned down any evening social obligations to reserve time for it, etc. If I felt this way about chocolate ice cream would I think it extreme (and slightly wierd) behavior? Yes!
I decided to quit, (almost 3 weeks of sobriety, now, the first in years and years) and have seen change in every area of my life - I guess that's testimony enough.
Only you can decide if you have a problem, but this site has reams of information to help your diagnostic process. And beyond that, you've found a fab bunch of folks here. These people have been through a lot of different (and sometimes really scary) experiences, and have brought all their experience here to seek help and to help other people - you can't help from benefit from their compassion and honesty. Welcome to SR!
The kicker for me was realizing how much I thought about alcohol - I planned my weekends around it, turned down any evening social obligations to reserve time for it, etc. If I felt this way about chocolate ice cream would I think it extreme (and slightly wierd) behavior? Yes!
I decided to quit, (almost 3 weeks of sobriety, now, the first in years and years) and have seen change in every area of my life - I guess that's testimony enough.
Only you can decide if you have a problem, but this site has reams of information to help your diagnostic process. And beyond that, you've found a fab bunch of folks here. These people have been through a lot of different (and sometimes really scary) experiences, and have brought all their experience here to seek help and to help other people - you can't help from benefit from their compassion and honesty. Welcome to SR!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Highlands, TX
Posts: 1,192
Hello and welcome to SR!
There are a lot of stickies at the top of this forum as well as the Alcoholism Forum which contain a wealth of good information. Only you can pronounce yourself an alcholic or not and only you can decide if your drinking is a problem and whether you want to do something about it. We will not judge you. We will share our experience, strength and hope with you and tell you how we managed to stop drinking.
I had some strange concepts of what an alcoholic was. I immediately thought that of the people you see living under a bridge or out panhandling. When I came into the program almost 2 years ago I still had a job, still had my family, had never gotten a DUI, still had a place to live etc. But I also knew by that point that I was an alcoholic, that alcohol had a grip on me that I couldn't find a way to shake loose no matter what I did. I spent the last year of my drinking trying to find a way to "control" it instead of it controlling me. I switched what I drank, I tried to not drink period, I tried to moderate the amount etc. Nothing worked and things just kept getting worse. I definitely rotated liquor stores so the clerks wouldn't know how often I bought the stuff. I was very friendly with one clerk and ended up moving in with her as a roommate for a while (that was the beginning of me hitting my bottom).
As has also been shared I obsessed about alcohol, when I could have my next drink. I drank in isolation for the most part so I was constantly looking for ways to get the house to myself so I could get drunk, pass out, and not have to face life which was becoming more and more unmanageable.
I learned in AA that not everyone drinks like I did (daily) yet they are still alcoholic. They are binge drinkers. They don't drink daily but when they do drink then there's no telling when they are going to stop. Then they sober up and all is well til the next binge. A member describes it this way "If, when you take the first drink, you don't know what the outcome will be then you may be an alcoholic." He would describe taking a drink and then coming to 2 days later, not know what had happened to him during that time (a black-out).
I hope that you will find this site helpful and that any questions you have will be answered. If you'd like to share more about yourself, we'd love to hear more from you.
Hugs,
Kellye
There are a lot of stickies at the top of this forum as well as the Alcoholism Forum which contain a wealth of good information. Only you can pronounce yourself an alcholic or not and only you can decide if your drinking is a problem and whether you want to do something about it. We will not judge you. We will share our experience, strength and hope with you and tell you how we managed to stop drinking.
I had some strange concepts of what an alcoholic was. I immediately thought that of the people you see living under a bridge or out panhandling. When I came into the program almost 2 years ago I still had a job, still had my family, had never gotten a DUI, still had a place to live etc. But I also knew by that point that I was an alcoholic, that alcohol had a grip on me that I couldn't find a way to shake loose no matter what I did. I spent the last year of my drinking trying to find a way to "control" it instead of it controlling me. I switched what I drank, I tried to not drink period, I tried to moderate the amount etc. Nothing worked and things just kept getting worse. I definitely rotated liquor stores so the clerks wouldn't know how often I bought the stuff. I was very friendly with one clerk and ended up moving in with her as a roommate for a while (that was the beginning of me hitting my bottom).
As has also been shared I obsessed about alcohol, when I could have my next drink. I drank in isolation for the most part so I was constantly looking for ways to get the house to myself so I could get drunk, pass out, and not have to face life which was becoming more and more unmanageable.
I learned in AA that not everyone drinks like I did (daily) yet they are still alcoholic. They are binge drinkers. They don't drink daily but when they do drink then there's no telling when they are going to stop. Then they sober up and all is well til the next binge. A member describes it this way "If, when you take the first drink, you don't know what the outcome will be then you may be an alcoholic." He would describe taking a drink and then coming to 2 days later, not know what had happened to him during that time (a black-out).
I hope that you will find this site helpful and that any questions you have will be answered. If you'd like to share more about yourself, we'd love to hear more from you.
Hugs,
Kellye
We all need each other.
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: The road of happy destiny.
Posts: 2,294
Welcome to SR, Ghostworld. Glad you found us.
As almost everyone else has said, no one here will label you an alcoholic. Only you can do that. I have to agree with Muse, though. Why do you say you "need" to drink at least every other day? "Normal" drinkers don't ever "need" to drink.
I hope that doesn't make you feel defensive. Obviously, you want some help figuring this all out, or you wouldn't be here. This is a wonderful place for support and encouragement. As Live said, why not stick around and do some reading? Perhaps the answer will come to you!
As almost everyone else has said, no one here will label you an alcoholic. Only you can do that. I have to agree with Muse, though. Why do you say you "need" to drink at least every other day? "Normal" drinkers don't ever "need" to drink.
I hope that doesn't make you feel defensive. Obviously, you want some help figuring this all out, or you wouldn't be here. This is a wonderful place for support and encouragement. As Live said, why not stick around and do some reading? Perhaps the answer will come to you!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: CA
Posts: 307
Hi Ghostworld,
I too drank quite a bit. Usually 8-14 beers for a stretch of 4 or 5 days every week for several years. I knew I was an alcoholic since I could not stop. I did function (sort of) during the day and made a decent living until the last year of my drinking. This is progressive. It will get worse and not better. Since quittting, I have gotten my life back. It is so much better than it was, even though I struggle with many problems, most of which continue to get better. Life is rich and full and not without pain. Before it was just empty.
Only you can decide if you are an alcoholic, but I can tell you my life is much better since I don't have to drink any more.
Welcome to SR! Everyone here is ready to help when you are ready.
Jup.
I too drank quite a bit. Usually 8-14 beers for a stretch of 4 or 5 days every week for several years. I knew I was an alcoholic since I could not stop. I did function (sort of) during the day and made a decent living until the last year of my drinking. This is progressive. It will get worse and not better. Since quittting, I have gotten my life back. It is so much better than it was, even though I struggle with many problems, most of which continue to get better. Life is rich and full and not without pain. Before it was just empty.
Only you can decide if you are an alcoholic, but I can tell you my life is much better since I don't have to drink any more.
Welcome to SR! Everyone here is ready to help when you are ready.
Jup.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 54
The conventional wisdom is that only you can label yourself an alcoholic because you are the one who has to believe that and accept that because if you don't, you won't stop drinking. You will try to control it. If you're an alcoholic, chances are you won't control it very well.
There's a hidden first step in the AA Big Book on page 30: "We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery."
It's not part of the 12 step plan, but something that comes before you begin to work those steps.
For me, being early in recovery (little over 100 days now), abstinence is the simplest answer. I tried to control it for years and it just frustrated me and made me feel bad about myself and my unsuccessful efforts. The bottom line for me is that even if I wasn't an alcoholic, abstinence would be a good choice. I just don't need the stuff and it's not really healthy. And why would I want to just drink one beer at a bar? What's the point? I might as well not have any.
There's a hidden first step in the AA Big Book on page 30: "We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery."
It's not part of the 12 step plan, but something that comes before you begin to work those steps.
For me, being early in recovery (little over 100 days now), abstinence is the simplest answer. I tried to control it for years and it just frustrated me and made me feel bad about myself and my unsuccessful efforts. The bottom line for me is that even if I wasn't an alcoholic, abstinence would be a good choice. I just don't need the stuff and it's not really healthy. And why would I want to just drink one beer at a bar? What's the point? I might as well not have any.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Down South
Posts: 60
When I wuit drinking in 1994 someone told me that I was an alcoholic. I said no way I don't drink everyday! And he said doesnt mean on what days you drink. Just depends on whether or not you get drunk when you do drink!
So from what i understand I could drink once a year and if I got drunk then I'm an alcoholic.
just my opinion and I am in no way saying your an alcoholic. Thats a decision you will have to make.
Glad you are here! Keep coming back!
Your friend,
John
So from what i understand I could drink once a year and if I got drunk then I'm an alcoholic.
just my opinion and I am in no way saying your an alcoholic. Thats a decision you will have to make.
Glad you are here! Keep coming back!
Your friend,
John
Living and Loving.
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Saratoga, California
Posts: 475
Doesn't matter what I think... it's what you think.
Do you think you have a problem with alcohol?
Only you can answer that question.
The question is... can you imagine living without it.
Most people who don't have a problem with alcohol wouldn't give this question a second thought.
Do you think you have a problem with alcohol?
Only you can answer that question.
The question is... can you imagine living without it.
Most people who don't have a problem with alcohol wouldn't give this question a second thought.
udger
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Hastings
Posts: 3
Be honest to yourself. 
Hi Ghost, I was once like you, I drunk two to three times a week. I done this for years. It took me five years to come to terms with this illness. I been in clinics. I tried to comment suicide about four times. The last time I done it, I was very ill in hopital and when I come out, I finally stop for almost two years. I thought I was ok, I had it under control. This year as been a rotton year for me and I have started drinking again I thought I was ok. But I was wrong so I joined this forum today so I get help off people who know this illness never leaves you.Try to stop for a for two weeks.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Livonia, MI
Posts: 675
Good idea, Udger! Yes, try to stop for two weeks or one month. Usually people who have their doubts try it for one month. I did. I made it three days....lol.
What I was told was this: If you set a one month goal,...and you cannot make it, you probably have a problem. Also,...if you CAN make it that 30 days,...but you drink on the 31st day,....you probably have a problem. That just means you were calendar watching the whole month. It doesnt matter if you drink every other day. It doesnt matter if you drink every other week. If drinking is a 'priority' in your life, then you may have a problem. Your statement "I need to drink every other day" jumped out at me, too. See, normal drinkers dont ever HAVE to drink. It was also told to me that if you ever start wondering if you have a drinking problem, then you probably do. Normal drinkers dont ever wonder if they have a problem,...it just ISNT a problem for them,...nothing ever triggers their minds to even wonder. So,....Id say if you are on THIS site,....you may very well have a problem. Its what HAPPENS when you drink, its your MOTIVES when you drink, and the WAY you drink that matter. Not frequency. Alot of people think alcoholics are people who drink EVERYDAY. Not true. Thats only a certain percentage. Also,...its been said that there is no such thing as a "functional Alcoholic" as a specific TYPE of alcoholic. The Functionality is a PHASE that most alcoholics go through. For years, I was able to go to work, do well there, have friends, girlfriends, a social life, good family life, pay bills, not get pulled over for DUI's,...and the like. Because of that I said to myself "I must be a functional alcoholic. Then I found out through experience that this is a progressive disease. I soon became a Non-functional alcoholic. THe DUI's came, lost jobs, lost girlfriends, lost friends, lost places to live, lost my drivers license, and most of all, lost the respect from others AND for myself. So, if one thinks they are lucky to be of the functional type of alcoholic atleast,.....it wont last. Its just a phase of alcoholism.
What I was told was this: If you set a one month goal,...and you cannot make it, you probably have a problem. Also,...if you CAN make it that 30 days,...but you drink on the 31st day,....you probably have a problem. That just means you were calendar watching the whole month. It doesnt matter if you drink every other day. It doesnt matter if you drink every other week. If drinking is a 'priority' in your life, then you may have a problem. Your statement "I need to drink every other day" jumped out at me, too. See, normal drinkers dont ever HAVE to drink. It was also told to me that if you ever start wondering if you have a drinking problem, then you probably do. Normal drinkers dont ever wonder if they have a problem,...it just ISNT a problem for them,...nothing ever triggers their minds to even wonder. So,....Id say if you are on THIS site,....you may very well have a problem. Its what HAPPENS when you drink, its your MOTIVES when you drink, and the WAY you drink that matter. Not frequency. Alot of people think alcoholics are people who drink EVERYDAY. Not true. Thats only a certain percentage. Also,...its been said that there is no such thing as a "functional Alcoholic" as a specific TYPE of alcoholic. The Functionality is a PHASE that most alcoholics go through. For years, I was able to go to work, do well there, have friends, girlfriends, a social life, good family life, pay bills, not get pulled over for DUI's,...and the like. Because of that I said to myself "I must be a functional alcoholic. Then I found out through experience that this is a progressive disease. I soon became a Non-functional alcoholic. THe DUI's came, lost jobs, lost girlfriends, lost friends, lost places to live, lost my drivers license, and most of all, lost the respect from others AND for myself. So, if one thinks they are lucky to be of the functional type of alcoholic atleast,.....it wont last. Its just a phase of alcoholism.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2006
Location: NJ
Posts: 6
I am pleasantly suprised by all the wonderful responses. Thank you all so much! 
I am not trying to defend myself here but I never ever have thoughts of suicide. I'm not that kind of person. Not that there's anything wrong with it, iykwim?
My parents stayed in my house from OOT for 2 weeks. I only drank once and that's because my mom stayed at my sisters house that one night.
I'm still not sure if I have a problem or not but I will try to figure it out on my very own. It's good to know there is a support group here ready and willing to help if I do have a problem.
I drank last night, and I plan to drink tonight.
Hope it's ok for me to still be here even if i'm still a drinker.
Thanks
I am not trying to defend myself here but I never ever have thoughts of suicide. I'm not that kind of person. Not that there's anything wrong with it, iykwim?
My parents stayed in my house from OOT for 2 weeks. I only drank once and that's because my mom stayed at my sisters house that one night.
I'm still not sure if I have a problem or not but I will try to figure it out on my very own. It's good to know there is a support group here ready and willing to help if I do have a problem.
I drank last night, and I plan to drink tonight.
Hope it's ok for me to still be here even if i'm still a drinker.
Thanks
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Livonia, MI
Posts: 675
So you're saying that the first time your parents stayed elsewhere, you drank. And you are essentially saying that you would have drank the whole rest of the time if they hadnt been there. Look at your post that started this thread again. Then re-ask yourself,....if you have a problem. Ask yourself how could it be that you are even questioning your drinking habits if you dont have a problem. Normal drinkers dont ever,....ever, question their drinking because they never had to. Nothing ever happened in their lives that warranted questioning their drinking. You drank last night,....and you are "planning" to drink tonight. Thats another thing normal drinkers dont do. They dont ever "plan" a night of drinking. Id get more in depth in this "soul searching" thing if I were you,...before drinking takes MORE from you than it already has. Also, nobody is "that kind of person" when it comes to suicide. There arent any "suicide" types out there. Life creates those people. So keep drinking. You may very well be changing the "type of person" you are because of it. We want to help you,....but you have to let us. Do something about this now, while you have a chance.
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