Arura

hi, folks.... i drink most days and i think i dont have a problem
but with my history i know it is a problem.
ask my stomach in the mornins what it thinks, of half/3qrts
bottle of brandy...... Good luck.............Arura..

earlybird

I will do that,...but, am I not to say what I truely feel? If I see someones answer written right in their posted question, am I to pretend its not there and HOPE they see it eventually? Im REALLY trying to help. Sometimes the truth hurts. But its truth they need to see. Often times, when left to their own devices, addicts in denail can really end up hurting themselves and others. Ive been taught that its absolutely our responsibility, as successfully recovering addicts, to point these things out so as to possibly stop these things from happening. Thats all I am trying to do. Someone says they wonder if they have a drinking problem and registered here to find out. They tell about themselves and some of us say it sounds as if they have a problem,...and instead of taking it in and considering it,....they get mad, and accuse us of being rude. Say things like "How dare you suggest you know what is wrong with me". Thats like popping the life preserver thats thrown out to you. I just dont get it. But,..if you want me to stop trying to help,...I can try.

Anna

EB,

I am the one who is saying you are being sarcastic and accusatory and I am not a Newcomer.

I do not want you to stop helping, I want you to do it with respect.

earlybird

Ok,..I apologize. Im sorry. But,...I dont understand where I was being "sarcastic". But I have a question. If its really clear that someone has a problem, and admits to looking for advice or answers,....and all you say is "Ill pray for you.......or....good luck......or ......only you can answer that..... or some other politcally correct generic response, how are you helping at all??

Anna

EB, I will continue this with a PM.

Phinneas

Because if someone is not ready, EB, all the words and good intentions in the world will not work. Harsh words will, in fact, drive them away and perhaps delay recovery even longer. When I was in active addiction, NO ONE could tell me what I needed to do. I had to get there myself.

Also, the nature of a message board is 2D. We only see a small, small, small part of the person and their story. Making judgements based on that is often hasty and harmful.

We are each unique individuals. We need to find what works for us in our own time, in our own way, on our own path.

My suggestion to you, EB, is teach only love. Do not tell, but share. Do not promote, but attract.


Oops! Sorry, Anna. We posted at the same time.

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming....

Welcome, ghostworld. I'm glad you're here!

earlybird

I have had so much success with addicts with my approach at the treatment center where I work. I guess I just get carried away. Im sorry.


This approach ------> lol

Anna

EB,

Your PM Box is still full so, I will post here.

Your post #36 is sarcastic, since you asked where you were being sarcastic.

And, if people want to post 'good luck, I'll pray for you, etc' that is more than fine with SR and with me.

Do not use your approach here.

Autumn

Right on! Hey - you're right up the road, EB! Mind if I bring my ASO over to you after his PO visit in Livonia tomorrow?



Ghostworld: Welcome to the family.

Autumn

This questionnaire is from a handout my ASO received at an AA meeting. The handout states that if you answer "yes" to any three questions, it definitely indicates alcoholism. The questions were designed by Dr. Robert V. Selinger of the Neuropsychiatric Institute of Baltimore (FWIW).

1. Do you need a drink at a definite time every day?

2. Do you prefer to drink alone?

3. Do you in the morning crave a "hair of the dog"?

4. Is your drinking harming your family in any way?

5. Do you get the inner shakes unless you continue drinking?

6. Is your drinking hurting your reputation?

7. Do you lose time from work due to drinking?

8. Has it made you careless of your family's welfare?

9. Have you become jealous of your husband or wife?

10. Has your initiative, ambition, or perseverance decreased?

11. Do you drink to relieve feelings of inadequacy?

12. Has your drinking made you more sensitive?

13. Is it endangering your health?

14. Do you turn to an inferior environment while drinking?

15. Do you show marked moodiness as a result of drinking?

16. Has drinking made you harder to get along with?

17. Is it making your homelife unhappy?

18. Is it jeopardizing your job, business, or career?

19. Has it made you irritable?

20. Is it affecting your peace of mind?





Hopefully this helps. Even if you don't think you're an alcoholic after answering yes to three questions, I'd probably take a look at quitting anyway.

Autumn

Just think ghostworld, before earlybird got sober, people used to tell him he looked like Mr. Burns from The Simpsons.



I hope you're still reading here ghostworld. You'll meet all kinds in recovery.... tough love kinda people and mushy sweet kinda people. I understand early because I'm kind of like him as far as being blunt goes, so I guess that means I understand that he didn't intend to hurt you or make you mad. When I first joined here, I got into it with someone named fuster. He came off a lot like earlybird, and it really made me mad. Thinking back though, I'll grudgingly admit that he was right about some things (I'm not turning over my crown, however, and I ain't turning it over to earlybird either).



Anyway, I hope you stick around..... don't be a "ghost," okay?

P.S. People from Michigan really are nice - you just don't wanna drive here, lol.

fallenbutrisen

funny... ive tat same feeling. but somehow,i feel it's now or never - give up and move on to something that i've been avoiding by using substance - it's deep inside...

ManchurianC

Give it a try and then you will know for sure if quitting is the right thing for you.

The fact that you came here probably means you are desperate to quit on some level, and just need to convince yourself to try.

Read what people say - nobody misses drinking/junk (or whatever) once they get over the withdrawal.

fallenbutrisen

You see there's where the issue is. I think I and other people who think alike chose to take on such a path to avoid the emptiness? we feel. what will I do if I'm not on something. most people rest after work, have dinner with their loved ones, take shower, watch tv or go play futsol, drink with friends, etc. ...

fallenbutrisen

giving up depends very much on what we take up next. it could be more than one positive 'hobby' or activity or way of life. that forces us to appreciate life in reality. reality is a big word these days, but reality is something that we all consciously feel inside. we tend to hide these inside feelings (or messages) that could be one of the ways to help us step up and move on really. a purpose is also a big word if you think about it when all it means is this.

do i need a larger than life reason? who knows? but should i believe that?

nodrinkingzone

I agree, I have been smashed on one thing or another since I was a teenager. But I feel that it was to try and fill a hole that can't be filled, and while I managed to get myself off most things, there was always something to take the place of whatever I'd quit. I held back from alcohol recovery for the last 6 years or more, purely cos I gave up almost everything else, and at least booze is legal and social (to a point!)

My ex once called me a 'great consumer' - I'll take anything, anytime, anywhere. What I'm trying to figure out is why that hole is there, and what I need to feel complete and happy without any other substances in my body.

There are a lot of good suggestions for filling your time around here, I personally am on Day 22 - I've been cleaning, reading, watching movies, working out/jogging, chatting on the internet and cooking myself really yummy meals. If it takes an hour to cook, so what? better than spending every afternoon smashed, every evening falling asleep drunk on the couch.

Good luck, if you are here then it means some part of you wants to get healthy - and please read some more posts, there's some good stuff here!

ndz

ManchurianC

When we abuse substances we always can rely on the idea that we need something because our lives are empty, or painful or whatever.

The truth is often different. We may well be lonely, in pain, unsuccessful, ill etc. because we abuse substances (and have done for a long time).

Substance abuse makes life worse. So, so no matter how bad life is sober, it's certain to be worse drunk or drugged up.

nodrinkingzone

Really good points there Manchurian... it's like a bottle-shaped shovel!

The Allen Carr book says the same thing about smoking - that the cigarettes cause the craving, the addiction, and the withdrawal symptoms that make us feel edgy and grumpy when we can't have them.

If we don't smoke, we don't feel any of those bad symptoms. It's the same with alcohol - we're trying to fill a hole that wouldn't be there if we didn't drink. Non-drinkers don't suffer from that same need to drink!

Jersey Nonny

It's been my experience that no one goes to an AA meeting, or logs into a Sober Recovery website because they're bored or have nothing better to do with their time! You're here for a reason...welcome!

sticker

if you dont want it, dont do it, simple. let us know how that works out for you.