Scared Sober
Guest
Posts: n/a
Nothing to Fear, But Fear Itself...
Fear -
n.
1. A feeling of agitation and anxiety caused by the presence or imminence of danger.
2. A state or condition marked by this feeling
3. A feeling of disquiet or apprehension
4. Extreme reverence or awe, as toward a supreme power.
5. A reason for dread or apprehension
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=fear&db=*
Copyright © 2005, Lexico Publishing Group, LLC.
Big Book, pg. 62
Gawd Complex: Doctors & Lawyers aren't the only ones who suffer from this malady. That's a misconceived stereotype as well. Addicts are widely known to exhibit this behavior. Myself included.
FEAR. Only one hundred forms of fear? That is a gross miscalculation. There are seemingly countless forms of fears and phobias. Addicts and alcoholics are predisposed by our own nature and vulnerable to several fears simultaneously manifesting. No two addicts are exactly the same. We're unique--in a frightening way.
Fear of the unknown...it is a crippling and life-stealing fear. Panic Attacks are often spawned by the fear of the unknown. Musterionophobia is the fear of ''mystery''. Neophobia is the fear of anything ''new''. Aioniosophobia...this is a HUGE fear...''the end of it all'', or the End of the Ages.
The Everlasting End.
That's really depressing! I'm also treading on religious philosophy & I'll stop here.
Enjoy reading through this extensive list of phobias. I did.
Alphabetical List of Phobias:
http://www.phobialist.com/#A-
Indexed List of Phobias:
http://www.phobialist.com/reverse.html#A-
Peace Be With You,
~Midas~
n.
1. A feeling of agitation and anxiety caused by the presence or imminence of danger.
2. A state or condition marked by this feeling
3. A feeling of disquiet or apprehension
4. Extreme reverence or awe, as toward a supreme power.
5. A reason for dread or apprehension
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=fear&db=*
Copyright © 2005, Lexico Publishing Group, LLC.
Big Book, pg. 62
Selfishness--self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt.
So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn’t think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kill us! God makes that possible. And there often seems no way of entirely getting rid of self without His aid. Many of us had moral and philosophical convictions galore, but we could not live up to them even though we would have liked to. Neither could we reduce our self-centeredness much by wishing or trying on our own power. We had to have God’s help.
This is the how and the why of it. First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn’t work. Next, we decided that hereafter in this drama of life, God was going to be our Director. He is the Principal; we are His agents. He is the Father, and we are His children. Most Good ideas are simple, and this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which we passed to freedom.
So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn’t think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kill us! God makes that possible. And there often seems no way of entirely getting rid of self without His aid. Many of us had moral and philosophical convictions galore, but we could not live up to them even though we would have liked to. Neither could we reduce our self-centeredness much by wishing or trying on our own power. We had to have God’s help.
This is the how and the why of it. First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn’t work. Next, we decided that hereafter in this drama of life, God was going to be our Director. He is the Principal; we are His agents. He is the Father, and we are His children. Most Good ideas are simple, and this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which we passed to freedom.
FEAR. Only one hundred forms of fear? That is a gross miscalculation. There are seemingly countless forms of fears and phobias. Addicts and alcoholics are predisposed by our own nature and vulnerable to several fears simultaneously manifesting. No two addicts are exactly the same. We're unique--in a frightening way.
Fear of the unknown...it is a crippling and life-stealing fear. Panic Attacks are often spawned by the fear of the unknown. Musterionophobia is the fear of ''mystery''. Neophobia is the fear of anything ''new''. Aioniosophobia...this is a HUGE fear...''the end of it all'', or the End of the Ages.
The Everlasting End.
That's really depressing! I'm also treading on religious philosophy & I'll stop here.
Enjoy reading through this extensive list of phobias. I did.
Alphabetical List of Phobias:
http://www.phobialist.com/#A-
Indexed List of Phobias:
http://www.phobialist.com/reverse.html#A-
Peace Be With You,
~Midas~
Guest
Posts: n/a
Throughout the years past, I have always subconsciously run from my fears. One of my most insidious fears is being alone and abandoned. Sometimes I feel lonely even in a room full of people. The aloneness is darkly haunting. The other night, however, I had a breakthrough of sorts. Suddenly, I had the revelation of my greatest fear being abandoned. That's right, it has a double meaning now. That brief moment of meditative clarity has broken the shackles. It was very liberating.
Many times, our addictions keep us dwelling in the past. It can lead to being buried in the mire of your life gone by. That's why we never grow. We cannot live in the past. Yesterday is GONE. We cannot live in the morrow. Tomorrow isn't here YET.
Live for the HERE & NOW. Every day is a small miracle if I don't pick up a drink or use. Today is a GIFT. And, as many of the old-timers say, ''that's why it's called the present.''
Many times, our addictions keep us dwelling in the past. It can lead to being buried in the mire of your life gone by. That's why we never grow. We cannot live in the past. Yesterday is GONE. We cannot live in the morrow. Tomorrow isn't here YET.
Live for the HERE & NOW. Every day is a small miracle if I don't pick up a drink or use. Today is a GIFT. And, as many of the old-timers say, ''that's why it's called the present.''
Leave The Past Behind
and here we are again the door is closed behind us
and the long road lies ahead
where do we go from here
it's time to make a change
lets trace the problem to its source
no more riding the waves
on a river that's run its course
I stood at the door to a new beginning
two choices before me and I was afraid
leave the past behind
the long road lies ahead
bury your pride and say goodbye
leave the past behind
tied to a fading memory
of something lost in time
afraid to make the change
scared to leave the past behind
I stood at the door to a new beginning
the future called and frightened I turned away
leave the past behind
the long road lies ahead
close your eyes, forget the fear
leave the past behind
we stand at the door to a new beginning
two choices before us don't be afraid
leave the past behind
the long road lies ahead
close your eyes, forget the fear
leave the past behind
leave the past behind
the long road lies ahead
close your eyes, forget the fear
leave the past behind
------------------------------------------
© Fate's Warning, "Parallels" (1991)
Originally Posted by The Big Book, pg 164
Surrender yourself to God as you understand God. Admit your faults to Him and to your fellows. Clear away the wreckage of your past. Give freely of what you find and join us. We shall be with you in the Fellowship of the Spirit, and you will surely meet some of us as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny.May God bless you and keep you—until then.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Winter Park, FL
Posts: 1
I understand
I understand the way u feel. I don't really know if I am an alcohalic.....my sister passed away 2 yrs ago at the age of 32 and I went through a divorce; a pretty nasty one. I am stuggling with drinking alone at night and am wondering if what I am doing is normal or abusive. I drink or want to a bottle of wine a night.
Please give me your advice or your story.
aeh
Please give me your advice or your story.
aeh
Guest
Posts: n/a
Sorry to hear about your loss. Only you can make the decision if you are alcoholic or not. Other alcoholics, such as myself, are not at liberty to label anyone else. However, there are numerous tests available online to help you make that decision. One example;
http://www.alcoholscreening.org/
If you are drinking every night & alone, that's one indication you may have a problem. I would recommend also seeing a healthcare professional for further advice.
http://www.alcoholscreening.org/
If you are drinking every night & alone, that's one indication you may have a problem. I would recommend also seeing a healthcare professional for further advice.
I'm trying.
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: California
Posts: 3
I'm new. I've been a pretty heavy drinker for the last few years. I even quit one time and stayed sober for seven years. My problem is that I know I could quit if I lived alone (like the last time), but now I'm married to a drinker. That makes it more difficult. But I know I have to quit because it's killing my marriage. That, I can't risk.
So today is Day 1. Just for today, I will not drink.
So today is Day 1. Just for today, I will not drink.
"It is what it is"
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Philadelphia, NJ
Posts: 7
I'd like to introduce myself, I am Stef. Today is day #1 for me. My Drug of Choice is Percocet/Opiate based pain medication. I've had a serious addiction for about 2 years. I'm trying to follow all the instructions, I have gotten info from my doctor, I can imagine and be secure in knowing I'll never take another pill again one moment and think "how in this world am I going to do this, especially in social situations and high stress times". But I didn't reach out to someone to get me pills today or stop by my moms to raid that cabinet. I wanted to. I have known for sometime that I have a major issue here but it took an emabarrassing trip to the doctor and being cut off by him to end it. In the midst of this I've hurt myself, my husband, my family, this guilt is a horrible burden. I have been 3 weeks sober in that 2 year time frame so I am so concerned about that. Today I don't feel good, I'm in pain (I do have chronic pain caused by 3 consecutive car accidents) but it's not horrible, it's the chills and the mental that's rough. I've gotten pretty far before but I needed the cat to be completely out of the bag, my husband actually got the news while stopping at the doctors to pick up my prescription and he was not happy. He also takes the same medication for similiar injuries but isn't overboard like I am so he blames me for him not being able to get the medication he needs. He actually wavers between that and "I need to stop taking the easy way out anyway, it needed to happen". Personally even though my quantities are higher, I am twice his size and he may not take as many pills as I do but man was he upset when the doctor wouldn't give us our refills. He isn't now but I hope this hasn't damaged us. I am totally ranting, sorry, a little stressed as you can imagine. I just want the chills and aches to go away. Anyway hello and congrats on all of your accomplishments, I hope to follow along.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Yonago, Japan
Posts: 1
Help
I have decided to quit drinking as of Monday because I fear it is affecting my health. I use to drink a lot, but the past 6 months I limited it to weekends. I discovered that I would buy 6 beer on Friday and they would be gone before I knew it. I would leave and buy another 6 on the same night. Usually I would finish all of them. If I ran out of beer, I would drink whatever was handy. One weekend I discovered I had drank 3/4 of a bottle of brandy. I can easily drink a bottle of wine. I use to become violent when I drank and most times I can never remember properly what I do.
I don't crave the drink during the week, but on weekends I feel it is my reward for working so hard. Recently I have been having a constant ache in my left side, moving towards the back. I wonder if it is my pancreas or kidneys. I don't know anymore. I am feeling frightened and very alone.
I live in Japan because of my job. I don't speak Japanese and it is impossible to find support or even go to the doctor. I am hoping that by posting here, I can find some support and advice.
Thank you for listening to me,
Sheri
I don't crave the drink during the week, but on weekends I feel it is my reward for working so hard. Recently I have been having a constant ache in my left side, moving towards the back. I wonder if it is my pancreas or kidneys. I don't know anymore. I am feeling frightened and very alone.
I live in Japan because of my job. I don't speak Japanese and it is impossible to find support or even go to the doctor. I am hoping that by posting here, I can find some support and advice.
Thank you for listening to me,
Sheri
Guest
Posts: n/a
Welcome Aboard, Openforhelp, Stef & Sheri! Deciding to quit is the best thing you can do for yourself. Actually quitting is another story. Sometimes. I'm glad your here.
It seems I've fallen behind a little...I've been predisposed with rebuilding the life I never had.
...Memories...
Lately I feel like I'm all alone too. It's not uncommon for addicts. There is HOPE, even when we may not see it. SoberRecovery is a great place to find comfort in the strength of others who have blazed their own trails previously and with the help of everyone else at their side.
Dealing with pain--whether it's physical or emotional--is a daunting and difficult task.
Pain is real.
Healing can be painful. And that is a sad irony in and of itself. My life has completely turned upside-down & inside-out over the last three months. Have I used? NO. Have I thought about it? Yes. Sometimes the thought of just throwing everything out the window seems to pervade my every waking moment. During my darkest days, I don't know where my strength originates. My spiritual guides pick me up and put me back on my feet. I laugh at my faith on dark days. Then the next thing I know...my faith is up front in my face laughing back at me.
I guess you have to be there to see the humor in it!! Gôd is Faithful.
Those depths of the Earth...I have walked through the Valley of Dry Bones...in spirit...it is a frightening place to be without any guardianship.
Again, I welcome you to SoberRecovery! May you find the healing you seek.
It seems I've fallen behind a little...I've been predisposed with rebuilding the life I never had.
...Memories...
Lately I feel like I'm all alone too. It's not uncommon for addicts. There is HOPE, even when we may not see it. SoberRecovery is a great place to find comfort in the strength of others who have blazed their own trails previously and with the help of everyone else at their side.
Dealing with pain--whether it's physical or emotional--is a daunting and difficult task.
Pain is real.
Healing can be painful. And that is a sad irony in and of itself. My life has completely turned upside-down & inside-out over the last three months. Have I used? NO. Have I thought about it? Yes. Sometimes the thought of just throwing everything out the window seems to pervade my every waking moment. During my darkest days, I don't know where my strength originates. My spiritual guides pick me up and put me back on my feet. I laugh at my faith on dark days. Then the next thing I know...my faith is up front in my face laughing back at me.
I guess you have to be there to see the humor in it!! Gôd is Faithful.
NKJV, Psalms 71:20-22
Thou, which hast shewed me great and sore troubles, shalt quicken me again, and shalt bring me up again from the depths of the earth.
Thou shalt increase my greatness, and comfort me on every side.
I will also praise thee with the psaltery, even thy truth, O my God: unto thee will I sing with the harp, O thou Holy One of Israel.
Thou, which hast shewed me great and sore troubles, shalt quicken me again, and shalt bring me up again from the depths of the earth.
Thou shalt increase my greatness, and comfort me on every side.
I will also praise thee with the psaltery, even thy truth, O my God: unto thee will I sing with the harp, O thou Holy One of Israel.
Again, I welcome you to SoberRecovery! May you find the healing you seek.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Nottm Nottinghamshire
Posts: 217
Originally Posted by Hugger
Maby you can help me understand something.
I just really want to understand why my not drinking is so upsetting to her. Any insite?
I think her reaction is perfectly logical and understandable (totally unfair on you and potentially dangerous though!) but I hope that you can make her understand that this is something you need to do and it means a lot to you.
If she won't understand this then maybe you you should look for another room-mate. One thing I've seen time and time again (in friends and their friends) is that it is VERY important for an addict to get away from the people (or environment) that will exacerbate the problem.
Good luck to you.
best wishes
Molly
xxx
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Nottm Nottinghamshire
Posts: 217
Sheri,
I'm British but I do speak Japanese so if you ever want something translated just pm me and I'll do my best. I'm sorry you feel so alone. You aren't alone at all. There are lots of people who care about you. I care about you and we haven't even met!
I know how hard it is to be in a foreign country and not speak the language. It happened to me a couple of years back when I went to Turkey to meet my (then) boyfriends family. He was the only one who spoke both Turkish and English and while he was in the shower I got stung by a scorpion in the bedroom!
I was frantically trying to tell his sister and brother-in-law what had happened (as I was worried that it was a venemous scorpion) but they don't speak English and I didn't speak Turkish and it seemed like an age before they decided to go and drag him out of the shower to come and translate!
The worst thing was their four-year old kept trying to crawl under the bed and see what I was pointing at and I couldn't explain to them that they must not let him go there as there is a scorpion there! Thankfully it turned out to be non-poisonous!
Please don't feel alone, I know it's easy to feel that way, especially in another country but all you have to do is turn the pc on and you aren't alone anymore. Are there any Japanese lessons you can take to help you get by while you're there? If you're interested then I will gladly teach you Japanese phrases that you want to know. I'm not Japanese I'm Irish but if there's anything I can do to help then please let me know. It's horrible being lonely in a foreign country. Please feel free to pm me any time.
Lots of love to you and good luck!
You are NOT alone!
Hajimemashite! (oh I can't remember how to spell that!)
take care mate
Molly
x
Oh I don't know how to use this site! I'm not sure if this will be a pm or go on forum! i don't suppose it matters as long as I send it to you.
I'm British but I do speak Japanese so if you ever want something translated just pm me and I'll do my best. I'm sorry you feel so alone. You aren't alone at all. There are lots of people who care about you. I care about you and we haven't even met!
I know how hard it is to be in a foreign country and not speak the language. It happened to me a couple of years back when I went to Turkey to meet my (then) boyfriends family. He was the only one who spoke both Turkish and English and while he was in the shower I got stung by a scorpion in the bedroom!
I was frantically trying to tell his sister and brother-in-law what had happened (as I was worried that it was a venemous scorpion) but they don't speak English and I didn't speak Turkish and it seemed like an age before they decided to go and drag him out of the shower to come and translate!
The worst thing was their four-year old kept trying to crawl under the bed and see what I was pointing at and I couldn't explain to them that they must not let him go there as there is a scorpion there! Thankfully it turned out to be non-poisonous!
Please don't feel alone, I know it's easy to feel that way, especially in another country but all you have to do is turn the pc on and you aren't alone anymore. Are there any Japanese lessons you can take to help you get by while you're there? If you're interested then I will gladly teach you Japanese phrases that you want to know. I'm not Japanese I'm Irish but if there's anything I can do to help then please let me know. It's horrible being lonely in a foreign country. Please feel free to pm me any time.
Lots of love to you and good luck!
You are NOT alone!
Hajimemashite! (oh I can't remember how to spell that!)
take care mate
Molly
x
Oh I don't know how to use this site! I'm not sure if this will be a pm or go on forum! i don't suppose it matters as long as I send it to you.
Guest
Posts: n/a
hehehe Spacegirl. Yo-koso! I learned a little bit of Japanese years ago, but I am very rusty. That's why I use BabelFish;http://babelfish.altavista.com/
It translates almost every major language. Oh! And believe it or not, there are numerous AA meetings (English speaking) in Tokyo and surrounding areas.
The Japan AA General Services Office info;
http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/intgso/japgso.html
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Nottm Nottinghamshire
Posts: 217
That sounds like a great idea Midas. I bet that would really alleivate the lonliness of being in another country too Sheri.
Midas, Iie, anata no Nihongo ga totemo jozu desu yo!
hehehe I'm rusty too... Never get the chance to speak it these days.
Good luck with it Sherri. I've yet to go to a meeting. I'm too shy but if I think I was in a foreign country and it was somewhere to go where I could speak in English I'd definately do it. Hope it goes well for you
Midas, Iie, anata no Nihongo ga totemo jozu desu yo!
hehehe I'm rusty too... Never get the chance to speak it these days.
Good luck with it Sherri. I've yet to go to a meeting. I'm too shy but if I think I was in a foreign country and it was somewhere to go where I could speak in English I'd definately do it. Hope it goes well for you
Guest
Posts: n/a
The frustrating part about many of the online translators is their lack of romanji capability. They can't translate the 'latinated' or Romanized text. I used to know of a few sites that could, but I can't seem to find them any longer. Babylon Pro (the PC software version) can decode/encode romanji, as far as I know.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
