Don't understand..
Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Canada
Posts: 727
I must always be careful not to judge another.I dont know enough to do this.Know one knows what the person intentions are,inside their heart.So if i have decided,{and it is a decision that i personally make}to be offened,whether im a newcomer or not,why would i not use recovery program,and talk to folks and get through this.?Step one says i am powerless over people.places,things.Telling another that they are wrong,in how they responded to another,is just putting my own head above another.And for me,i just cannot go there,for my own sake.I see myself as sel-centred,self-will,thinking im "right".Back to my own will and trying to make others do as i want them to,again.It would be really great if all of us can be,and respond the way others think is the right way.{or would it?}But it doesnt happen.And those good folks who try to bang folks over the head,with ya just didnt share the right way.Where is their compassion ,understanding,etc,etc.for these folks?What they are preaching is gone,out da window.To,be the example.Then im no longer pointing my fingers at others.I am the problem,not others.I had a living problem.There are great recovery programs to help me to live,life on lifes terms.And to get me through all of the stuff,is what makes me stronger,and weller.Trying to change others never helped me to change.It only delusioned myself that i actually have control and know best.Some are more spiritually sicker than others.Pray for those who hurt me,works,everytime.Folks will only change,when they want to.My judgemnts of them will only hinder them in their process,i believe.I have never read in any of our recovery books where i am to change others.Never.That ole saying,never give out advice unless asked.If another wants to change,and asks,then i help guide them through the steps.And if they are getting on my last nerve.No problem.There is a solution,its the the recovery programs for me.
Thanks for letting me share,my opions/experiences,and thoughts here.
To each their own.
Thanks for letting me share,my opions/experiences,and thoughts here.
To each their own.
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 15,203
Chy,
you weren't in Sober City when, we had this guy coming in there and ripping AA. He had an axe to grind with AA for what ever reason. Anyway, lot of profanities hurled and so on and so forth.
Guess, a lot of this depends on where your head is at. I can let something on here bother me if, I choose to.
I'm not in here with an axe to grind with anyone on this site. I do have to watch my political views a lot.
I don't even get mad at people that don't view politics the way I do. I pray, that I tolerate them.
you weren't in Sober City when, we had this guy coming in there and ripping AA. He had an axe to grind with AA for what ever reason. Anyway, lot of profanities hurled and so on and so forth.
Guess, a lot of this depends on where your head is at. I can let something on here bother me if, I choose to.
I'm not in here with an axe to grind with anyone on this site. I do have to watch my political views a lot.
I don't even get mad at people that don't view politics the way I do. I pray, that I tolerate them.
You're never alone!!
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 2,191
Originally Posted by CAPTAINZING2000
Chy,
I'm not in here with an axe to grind with anyone on this site. I do have to watch my political views a lot.
I don't even get mad at people that don't view politics the way I do. I pray, that I tolerate them.
I'm not in here with an axe to grind with anyone on this site. I do have to watch my political views a lot.
I don't even get mad at people that don't view politics the way I do. I pray, that I tolerate them.
Although we take many different political views, I am very, very happy that
we still sare many other views on recovery. That's really all that matters. I am very happy NOT to discuss politics with you.. I'm sure I would lose, and that's just not a place I want to go with you, because I really like you
But I feel this place is for RECOVERY SUPPORT.. Not recovery DEBATE, or any other type of debate. I have been guilty of that before, and I am sorry for that.
Because what it all comes down to, and the ONLY thing I truly care about here is the people... Addicts, alcoholics, anyone with any addiction, or whatever mental health issue that comes through those doors (screen)
gets some support, and possibly some sort of direction, and maybe some guidence, because they take what they want and leave the rest. That to me is the BEST statement I have ever heard....
I do care for everyone here, because we all share a common illness... I want people to find help, and know where to look for help. I want the knowledge to be out there, then they can choose which path they want to go down...
Right? I don't want to push anyone in any particular direction... I just want them to know there is help.. There is no "right" way.. There are all kinds of "right" ways...
i love ya all, I really do,
Becky
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,709
Could I throw something out here, seeing as this is turning into a great discussion?
Zinger makes a valid point about the anti AA zealots all over the net.
I smell them a mile away it seems. The last mini invasion here was an eye opener, if only that I had the privilege of hearing long time members of SR share their experience about the organized attacks on this community that go back before my time here.
And I readily admit I've taken a perverse pleasure in exposing these vermins for what they are; agenda carrying trolls.
Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but the sense I get from the recent unease and posts from relative newcomers has little to do with AA bashing. I posted a short line or two in Stormy's goodbye thread from a few days ago.
Well, someone picked up on it and sent me a PM looking for explanations. We had a good exchange. And I hope the member in question and I now have a new understanding of eachother.
Even more funny is that I had no knowledge of the details surrounding Stormy's story, and what lead her to her decision of wanting to leave. I do come here everyday, but I don't read everything...
But I had been noticing a lot of tension and sadness.
So I prayed. For the community, and for Stormy and the others, and for answers.
In its infinite wisdom, HP decided to offer me a glance. The PM I received from the member, and our ensuing exchange, shed some light on what was happening in a small way, but also illuminated once again one of my core beliefs, which is this:
No matter how well intentioned we sometimes may be, and how much sincere love we have for our fellow sufferers, 't is not until they are honest, open minded and willing that they will hear us.
The book is clear on one thing... 'A spirit of intolerance might repel alcoholics whose lives could have been saved, had it not been for such stupidity'.
I'm an alcoholic named Dan.
And I'm grateful for the opportunity to share.
Zinger makes a valid point about the anti AA zealots all over the net.
I smell them a mile away it seems. The last mini invasion here was an eye opener, if only that I had the privilege of hearing long time members of SR share their experience about the organized attacks on this community that go back before my time here.
And I readily admit I've taken a perverse pleasure in exposing these vermins for what they are; agenda carrying trolls.
Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but the sense I get from the recent unease and posts from relative newcomers has little to do with AA bashing. I posted a short line or two in Stormy's goodbye thread from a few days ago.
Well, someone picked up on it and sent me a PM looking for explanations. We had a good exchange. And I hope the member in question and I now have a new understanding of eachother.
Even more funny is that I had no knowledge of the details surrounding Stormy's story, and what lead her to her decision of wanting to leave. I do come here everyday, but I don't read everything...
But I had been noticing a lot of tension and sadness.
So I prayed. For the community, and for Stormy and the others, and for answers.
In its infinite wisdom, HP decided to offer me a glance. The PM I received from the member, and our ensuing exchange, shed some light on what was happening in a small way, but also illuminated once again one of my core beliefs, which is this:
No matter how well intentioned we sometimes may be, and how much sincere love we have for our fellow sufferers, 't is not until they are honest, open minded and willing that they will hear us.
The book is clear on one thing... 'A spirit of intolerance might repel alcoholics whose lives could have been saved, had it not been for such stupidity'.
I'm an alcoholic named Dan.
And I'm grateful for the opportunity to share.
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Tyler, Texas
Posts: 1,028
Ok i have to throw something into the ring now..... Geez we have anti-AA people now??? I mean I understand if isn't working for you and you want to try something else more power to you......but to be ANTI AA ?????? How can you be against people teaming up to quit destroying their lives as well as those around them??? What has the world come to when there are people are against that??????? Zing , Dan you guys just keep on keepin and on and if you ever need any help with "zealots" just let me know
Reach Out and Touch Faith
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: On a Sailboat
Posts: 3,871
Originally Posted by BSPGirl
I just left this place silently for a while and now I'm back, lol. I thought that not being part of NA/AA would make my presence here unneeded but now I don't think that way anymore.
<---convert to the SMART program thanks to you
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: richmond,VA
Posts: 189
Originally Posted by BSPGirl
I just left this place silently for a while and now I'm back, lol. I thought that not being part of NA/AA would make my presence here unneeded but now I don't think that way anymore.
The nice thing about SR is that you dont have to be part of a 12-step program to find recovery here. sure, a lot of us are(myself included) but there are other ways to stay sober. For years,I thought AA was the ONLY way to stay sober. I was told over and over repeatedly that if I didnt take every single thing I was told to heart I would drink. After umpteen relapses,I have come to believe that while,yes, things like meetings,a sponsor,and the steps are important,as well as fellowshipping with people who can stay happily sober, I can discard what wont work in favor of what will work.
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 889
Well I am kinda anti-AA/NA but only for me personally. I do realize it helps many other ppl and I won't bash as long as ppl don't try to push views down my throat. I'm sorry if you guys feel offended by me or anything...
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,709
Mmmmm... I need to qualify what I mean by anti AA.
Clear, precise, agenda driven posts by members who's only apparent purpose, it seems, is to spread misinformation or propagate myths about twelve step programs. I hate that about as much as having opinions and beliefs shoved down my throat.
How I manage to stay sober, the good days and not so good days, is what I try and share. And it's what I want to hear from other people.
Their program, or lack thereof, means nothing to me.
Their experience, on the other hand, is golden.
Clear, precise, agenda driven posts by members who's only apparent purpose, it seems, is to spread misinformation or propagate myths about twelve step programs. I hate that about as much as having opinions and beliefs shoved down my throat.
How I manage to stay sober, the good days and not so good days, is what I try and share. And it's what I want to hear from other people.
Their program, or lack thereof, means nothing to me.
Their experience, on the other hand, is golden.
It is what it is!!!
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Sobriety
Posts: 5,767
Originally Posted by DangerousDan
No matter how well intentioned we sometimes may be, and how much sincere love we have for our fellow sufferers, 't is not until they are honest, open minded and willing that they will hear us.
Yep
Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Charlotte,NC
Posts: 167
Question for DangerousDan:
Can you give an example/s of misinformation or propagate myths about twelve step programs.
I go to an AA meeting about every night and disagree with a lot of what AAs profess as the gospel for drunks. I'm curious as to these myths that you perceive because I just might view them as reality. Thanks.
Can you give an example/s of misinformation or propagate myths about twelve step programs.
I go to an AA meeting about every night and disagree with a lot of what AAs profess as the gospel for drunks. I'm curious as to these myths that you perceive because I just might view them as reality. Thanks.
Not all better, getting better
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: The Beautiful Inner Banks of NC
Posts: 1,702
Originally Posted by SoberNVa
The nice thing about SR is that you dont have to be part of a 12-step program to find recovery here. sure, a lot of us are(myself included) but there are other ways to stay sober. For years,I thought AA was the ONLY way to stay sober. I was told over and over repeatedly that if I didnt take every single thing I was told to heart I would drink. After umpteen relapses,I have come to believe that while,yes, things like meetings,a sponsor,and the steps are important,as well as fellowshipping with people who can stay happily sober, I can discard what wont work in favor of what will work.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,709
Originally Posted by Irish Virus
I go to an AA meeting about every night and disagree with a lot of what AAs profess as the gospel for drunks. I'm curious as to these myths that you perceive because I just might view them as reality. Thanks.
I've said this many times before, individual AAs do not represent AA.
I'll gladly discuss this with you further Irish, if you wish, privately, or on a separate thread, so as to not derail this one even more so than I fear I already have.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2
Don't Understand
Just read your thread and figured I would say hello. Pretty down right now but when I saw El Paso just had to answer. I graduated from Burgess High. Later I was a military policeman there. I got on here about 2 and a half hours ago just reading but I better get off here and go face the music.
Thanks Ace
Thanks Ace
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,862
Welcome Ace!
I encourage you to start a thread to recieve a proper welcome! I'll be damned, went to Burgess my Soph and Jr. year, then went to Germany (army brat), but my husband graduated there as well. Glad to see a former local hope to see you back and if you need anything just say the word!
I encourage you to start a thread to recieve a proper welcome! I'll be damned, went to Burgess my Soph and Jr. year, then went to Germany (army brat), but my husband graduated there as well. Glad to see a former local hope to see you back and if you need anything just say the word!
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 1,432
Originally Posted by DangerousDan
I disagree with a ton of stuff individuals in AA talk about. A lot of the language in the book leaves me indifferent. That doesn't, however, compel me to start talking about AA in terms of being a cult/pseudo religion/brainwashing club, and a hundred more things I've heard and read.
I've said this many times before, individual AAs do not represent AA.
I'll gladly discuss this with you further Irish, if you wish, privately, or on a separate thread, so as to not derail this one even more so than I fear I already have.
I've said this many times before, individual AAs do not represent AA.
I'll gladly discuss this with you further Irish, if you wish, privately, or on a separate thread, so as to not derail this one even more so than I fear I already have.
Don S
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