Chy

where all the insecurity is coming from. In the course of the last few weeks I've seen mistrust, insecurity and concern over SR being a safe place. I can only assume alot of what is going on is being done in pm's. I don't see it on the boards very often.

Please remember your mods are here to help you if there is a problem. Don't wait for it to get so out of hand you toss in the towel. Let us help you address the issues which concern you. That's why we're here. Above all remember this is a safe place, a huge diverse community of members of all shapes, sizes, addictions, personalities, beliefs and values; and nothing anyone say's here to you is worth picking up that next drink or using over.

We're all here to get and give help in genuine kindness and non-judgemental support.

angelgirl

Yes, Chy, you are the best. Please all, post to the mods, of you are having problems, so they know what's going on, and they can try to resolve it, or help with it, and take care of it. I believe this is a great way to handle it.
Thanks Chy......
Love, Becky

dietpepsigirl

alot of us feel that way more care to know, when all we ask is MY FAMOUS WORDS for help!
Don't bother to reply

Change4life

My towel is tossed. Thanks anyway.

Anna

I sure am concerned about the recent outbreak of insecurity here too.

Chy is absolutely right, please speak up before you're so upset that you decide to leave. Sometimes a misunderstanding or problem can be cleared up easily.

Anna

CAPTAINZING2000

This is my take.

A person comes into this site, make yourself known. Then, go to the site that will offer you the most help. This site is for intro and a little silliness.

The meat and potatoes are in the sites below.
I had several years in the AA program b 4 I found this site.

If, you're looking for feedback in a certain area, go to that site. AA-NA- friends and family.

I'd never make light of what's going on in your life. Speaking as someone from AA, I've never forgot what it took me to get to my first meeting. I also wanted to ignore people's advice until, I got humble and decided hey, they've been sober for 10 -15 years. I should listen to them!!!

shockozulu

So thats why our baseball thread was in one of the other sites, huh?
And if you don't believe me, I'll try to get Vin Scully to tell you *wink*

nogard

Thanks Chy

For my part it was about my addiction and I have just posted about that elswhere. It was my sneaky addiction whispering negative things in my ear.

So I caught it with your help and have moved on.

nogard

minnie

Zing - I agree. The Newcomers board is a wonderful place, but we should never forget that many people are just that - newcomers, both to recovery and to SR. So that we gain strength from those that have gone before us, we need to hang out where they hang out. There is amazing recovery happening all over this site, so please make sure you all check it out. Addicts who are struggling with family pressures, read the Friends and Families boards - it might just give you some understanding of what it's like to live with an addict. Those of you whose loved ones are addicts, look at the alcoholism or substance abuse boards for some insight into their lives. Understanding is the key here - avail yourselves of the opportunity to further yours.

And don't forget (as Chy has reminded me in the past!), some people are sicker than others.
Take care and good luck.

BSPGirl

Perhaps..just a suggestion...if someone comes up and needs help right NOW then don't go like 'go to the next meeting'. Also I think it's wrong to tell newbies that NA/AA is the only way to go. Don't judge others and their program (or lack thereof). Keep the Higher Power talk and the NA/AA related talk in other forums. Just post information here. Perhaps that'll solve some problems? I realize I got no right to talk since I'm relatively new and I do feel that ppl just put me on 'ignore' when I start talking about SMART but ok...

Gabe

"I don't feel safe here".
Five words that pack a serious impact.
In a forum full of people with doubts and questions on just about everything, they stir up fear.
And I know from experience what the consequences of those five words can be.
Sober Recovery is a forum specifically designed to share experience, strength and hope.
And, for the most part, that is what goes on here every single day.
Do some people abuse the priviledge?
Sure, we are a forum full of flawed human beings.
It's been my experience here at Sober Recovery that the well meaning, supportive and loving people outweigh the few who may have an agenda to make people feel "unsafe".
Internet message boards are public forums.
What you say here is out there for everyone and anyone to read.
If what you have to share is of a personal nature, it is sometimes best to do that with someone you trust in a PM or via email.
There is a lot of love, heart, soul and support here.
I've seen that become a valuable asset to countless people who've come to this forum.
In my opinion, Sober Recovery is a very safe place, full of some of the best people I've ever run across.

squirrelly77

*bump*
*bump*
*bump-ing*
EGOS



It's my fav dance!!!

Seriously, I agree with what people here have said. Talk to the moderators if there's a problem. I trust them and their opinions and I know that they will take the appropriate action.

Danielle

abtchonamission

Anyone who needs to, please feel free to pm me...I maybe won't have your answers, but I'll find them. And the other mods will also do all they can to help.

Live

Chy, I have been gravely concerned about this problem and I am seeing it go on all over the boards and often see how people are diminished, judged etc.
Last night I went to sleep composing a thread in my head called Civility, and discussing compassion, listening, understanding, kindness and not presuming to give advice to people we haven't taken the time to get to know. I have so much to say about all that I have observed, but the time is not right yet. I may pm you?

CAPTAINZING2000

There was a pc. in the news how people are depressed when their team loses a championship game etc. General recovery was good place to make note of that.


Course, my St. Louis Cardinals have been winning most all their games. After they win the W.S I'll tellu about the Euphoric feeling that goes along with it

bikewench

Thanks Chy for posting this...

I've actually been thinking this for the last coupla weeks...
something chaotic has invaded SR...

Lots of hurt feelings..


People giving advice instead of simply sharing what worked for them...

SMART.. the Program... SR... whatever....
or even if someone has been blessed with spontaneous recovery and think they have all the answers...

We all have a piece of the pie... so...



.. and as well...


for those that get angry at others for what they post...
when I put something out on the web... or even out to the Universe...
If I do that already expecting a certain reply... then why bother putting anything out there in the first place...

I put things forward on SR because I NEED feedback other than what I'm currently seeing in my own mind....

.. and if that feedback makes me angry...
then in all personal gut level honesty...
that's generally the one I need to take a look at the longest and the hardest....
and when I look at it... I can either accept it or reject it with a comment or not...


many many times I've seen someone disregard 10 wonderful posts full of love and support and great experience, strength and hope shared... and focus on the one damn post that picks at our issues... and then it's "I'm taking my marbles and I'm going home cause I don't like the way your playing...!!"

Talk about control... and focusing on the negative...

So yup...

Bottom like for me... always has been and always will be....

I'll take what I WANT... and I'll leave the rest....
and I'll hopefully leave something good and unconditionally loving in it's place...

Praying for all of us...
that the goodness and help that can be embodied in this place does not get lost in the negatives we humans tend to live in...

Luckyv2

I am tossing in my towel as well find someone else to chair please thanks and good luck to all that remain here.

Paulie

Well said BW!

Live

There are many ways to say the same things. Diplomacy and empathy generally are a better delivery method that allows one to hear the message. It doesn't have to hurt or offend or anger.

CarolD

Members come and members go.
Some return and some don't.
Some find answers and some do not.

SR is full of hope and info.
However it is up to the member to use it.

These flurries of dranatic farewells are best ignored. I refuse to plead or cajole for anyones recovery. Just the way I see it.


I am a member who plants the seed of recovery.. Period.