RAL

Well done on getting through the temptation liz

Leshar

Oh Lixie, I'm so glad you made it through.
However, forgive me, but I don't think what your wife said about a "slip" is healthy for you, after all you've been through. Was there couple counseling as part of your rehab program? I think you might need to explore her desire to drink, in a way that doesn't put you at risk. Alcohol will never relieve stress.
Hugs to you.

Lixie

Leshar, we have had couple counseling, but that was mainly for her to understand what I had been through. She needs to explore her own relationship with alcohol, that is true.

And thanks for the support, RAL, Dee, Ayers, dickinson and others.

Anna

Liz, well done getting through that. Have you gently explained to your wife that you really, really don't want a relapse of any kind? I know she is supportive of you, of course, but maybe she doesn't quite get how fragile you feel in moments like that.

RAL

Glad you're ok liz

Steely

Lixie, you did brilliantly! Resisting the “planned slip” that is.

Congratulations, Lixie. You really want it, and it shows.

My sister grew a whole heap of limes and posted a picture of them on fb.

Everyone made suggestions about Marguerite’s, etc (sp). I posted your crushed cucumber Mexican chill recipe.

Well done Lixie.

Lixie

It’s not over. Shops close in 55 minutes and I want to go buy something. Angry at my wife and that’s my biggest trigger. Hiding in my room hoping it passes soon.

freedomfries

Best of luck Lixie. Not long now.

Leshar

Lixie, I hope you're ok. It helps me to think the scenario through. You may get a temporary chemically induced relief, but alcohol is like a loan shark and comes back for payment, and then some. You need rest. Thinking of you. 🤗

Lixie

Ok, cancel red alert. Safe and sound, no alcohol.

freedomfries

Good job Lixie.

Steely

Well done Lixie!

I take my hat off.

Dee74

Congrats Lixie

D

Lixie

Thanks guys. Still somewhat confused that I made it through-again. Day 146 coming to an end.

Dee74

We stubbornly cling to drinking...and when we can make that stubborness work for our recovery instead we really can do hard things

D

424~~ALive

Fantastic Lixie that you are being stronger and holding on to your sober days! You'll be saying Day 147 tomorrow because you are a strong woman and you will make it happen!

Ayers

Lixie

I don’t deserve the applause. I’m miserable. Nothing gives me joy, I’m in a dump. So high strung, impossible to relax. I have gone through the motions and done what the kids expected of me, Easter egg hunt, family breakfast, playing cards, watching a movie, talking about life. And now I have no idea what to do. I have tons of things that have to be done, but then my wife will tell me to stop. Because I have to relax. But I’m going crazy not doing anything! I’ve tried a jigsaw puzzle and it’s half done, but I want to throw the pieces out the window. I should work on my book, but I’m afraid the computer will follow the jigsaw pieces.

I have an overwhelming sense of urgency, that I need to do something before it is too late, but I can’t do it. I want to scream, destroy things, drink. This is not the life I wanted. I fought to get sober, maybe if I drink I will have to find that spirit again.

LadyArwen

Hi Lixie,

I’m sorry to hear you are struggling. The only thing I have to offer you are the things I do when I’m stressed out or anxious:

1.) I open my Insight Timer App and do meditations. I have many saved for anxiety, stress and calm. Sometimes I will do back to back meditations.
2.) I sit in a comfortable chair looking out a window at a pretty spot outside my house. Grab paper and pen and make a list of all the things I’m grateful for: My children’s health, my SO’s health, my health, our comfortable bed to sleep in at night, my successful business, our dog staring at me in the morning from my pillow…..
3.) Take a hot shower (I wish it was a warm bath but I’m too tall to fit in the guestroom bathtub) and drink a cup of chamomile tea (decaf only)
4.) Pray to God and humble myself before him. Ask for guidance to calm my mind and soul.

These are my top 4 de-stressers that help me. I hope they help you too. You have given so much to your family and SO on this Easter day. Why not quietly give back to yourself now. You are worthy. Feed your soul. Have a glorious Easter!

DriGuy

My dog does that every morning. He is laying down under my feet now as I sit at my computer. I just petted him on his head and told him a lady on the computer has a dog just like him. He flopped his tail on the floor. Gratitude is where you find it.