Lixie

Thanks, Leshar. I am going back to rehab in two weeks, they want people to come back after a while just to remind them of what's at stake. I doubt there are any real people at work there today. Norwegians love their Easter holiday.

Leshar

That sounds like a good plan Lixie!

venuscat

You drove seven hours the other day, dearest Liz. Since then, you have been going nonstop, including cleaning, baking, and probably printing T-shirts.
Not to mention serving guests and spending time with your daughter and wife.

And I bet you are EXHAUSTED.
When I am exhausted, I am a crying mess and very vulnerable, and it feels like I am a failure and everything is wrong. Those emotions are powerful, and yes, I just want to escape as well.

But these days, I work through stuff and usually get to the other side.
And exhaustion means writing SLOW DOWN (not really ) on my forehead for the day.

Self-care is the most important thing in the world for me as a recovering alcoholic and also as a human. ❤️

Ayers

I am so pleased - and SO proud - that you stood firm, Lixie. So much.
I am sorry that you're hurting. And that you felt that hopeless and scared and vulnerable.
It would be great if you have the option of seeing the councellors at the rehab again.
I hope your wife is taking good care of you.
Please take care.
Sending hugs.

Anna

Liz, I am glad that you're taking care of yourself and heading back to the rehab soon. One of the changes I had to make in early recovery was to not do too much. I had to protect my energy. That might be the case for you, too.

Lixie

You guys are right. I am doing too much. Like now, when we have a few days off. That's perfect for sanding down the whole stairwell including the bannister, paint everything and lay down new carpet tiles. And of course we will have time to fix the basement ceiling, redecorate the laundry room, scrub down the kitchen in the cafe and other things. But today, when I had calmed down, I actually booked two nights for us at a spa hotel nearby. 48 hours of relaxing. That will do us good.

Dee74

Hi Lixie

I agree with what others have said about spreading yourself too thin.
It’s important for me to recognise when I’m becoming overwhelmed and to have strategies or plans in place to deal with that.

I have an inner drive that in the past pushed me mercilessly. I would be overwhelmed often, not just by the immediate stuff, but the fear of what was yet to come…

All that proved useful to me as a drinker, giving me reasons to drink, but it doesn’t serve mell well as a person in recovery.

I had to learn balance and that me time was not me being lazy

A spa getaway sounds great, as does the rehab return session…You’re doing well Lixie

D

BassetDog

Lixie - you have far more sober time than I do, so feels wrong for me to chime in, but holy cow, your schedule definitely sounds super hectic! That is great you are taking 2 days to go to a spa and relax! You’ve done so much recently and definitely deserve the rest and relaxation. That is awesome you recognized it and are taking some time off.

Day 13 for me. This has not been my best day. Found out I’m going to be in a walking boot/on crutches for at least 6-8 weeks and my work project is kicking my butt. The steroid I’m on for my foot is making me feel agitated too. This has been a trying day for me mentally and physically. But, I won’t be picking up a drink as that won’t solve anything. I’d just wake up tomorrow with the same problems I have today and then have the added benefit of dealing with a hangover. No thanks.

I am committed to 24 more with you all. I’ll be going to bed sober tonight and waking up to day 14 tomorrow.

Have a good rest of your day all.

Steely

We have similar system in Australia Lixie. Clients encouraged to come back to rehab if feeling a bit unsteady. I think it’s a good idea.

Really happy to see you going to spa for a few days. The basement ceiling can wait. Sip cucumber chill instead.

Bekindalways

I don't think we have the return to rehab in the US. That sounds like a good idea.

Take care of yourself L. Life can throw us tough stuff.

BassetDog

Oh goodness, I meant to post in the March 2024 class thread. Sorry Lixie!!

Ayers

I think the spa is just the ticket !!
Enjoy, kick back and relax.

Lixie

Spa and relaxing… yeah. Not going to happen. Car broke down in the middle of nowhere and we’re stuck. I feel cursed.

Leshar

Oh Lixie, that's really unfortunate. Take a breath, a pause. I drank over something similar. Car cost $1500 in repairs and flights/hotel non refundable. I was angry and reactive. It did me no good. You need rest. Perhaps your wife can deal with some extra "stuff " at present.

Dee74

How are things now Lixie - did you get the car fixed?

D

Ayers

Oh no - that's horrible.
Hope you got help, Lixie and somewhere safe?

Lixie

Thanks for asking.

We waited for a few hours and then a truck came and pulled the car up with us in it- and it was weird to ride backwards for ten miles. We were stressed and exhausted and my wife looked at me and said “we can have a planned slip today and go back to not drinking tomorrow”. A part of me wanted it so bad, but I managed to say no. Then.

The seed was planted though. I thought of drinking several times.

There is alcohol everywhere at the hotel. I sleep two feet from a well stocked minibar. And I sense that my wife really wants to drink. But even if I don’t think of the PEth tests, taking away my license again, I think of ME, my self respect and my worth, and I don’t want to compromise that. So, it is day 144, and all is well.

dickensen

Lixie. Congratulations for surviving your temptation. 116 days is great. Keep up the good work.

Ayers

You managed a very difficult, trying situation, Lixie.
Well done and congrats on 144 days!

Dee74

I’m proud of you too Liz

D