Free2bme888

Here’s why sometimes it is, scientifically speaking.







it takes HUGE resolve to quit. ANYTHING but drink or drug.

We can all do it. Many of us have, and are on this journey daily.

fishkiller

You don't reach the bottom until you start to climb back up.

sober fishing? Well that's the best way. I'm in!

MLD51

Everyone's bottom is different. Except for the unfortunates who die. Their rock bottoms are the same. I know several people who hit their rock bottoms that way. One person close to my circle is headed there right now and I am totally heartbroken. I pray every day that she finds her way before she pays the ultimate price.

My AV had me tricked into thinking I "wasn't that bad" for years. I drank about the same amount you do. But I had not gotten to the "down and out" phase that I saw people around me getting to. I drank mostly in bars, around other people, so I saw plenty of people I convinced myself were way worse than I was. So I talked myself into drinking for years beyond the point where it was completely ruining my life, bit by bit. Nez said: "As to relating, and not just in AA but the human race in general, if I look for differences...I will find them. If I look for similarities...I will find them." I was focused on the differences, not the similarities, when I looked at other people who drank too much. Deep down, I knew it was a matter of time before it all caught up with me in some way, but damn it, I was having FUN. Until I wasn't and it all really started to crash down

In AA we talk about YET. That "bad thing" hasn't happened to you YET. But YET stands for You're Eligible Too. Everyone who drinks is eligible. All it takes is one night of drinking and poor choices to change the trajectory of your life forever. I was a chronic drunk driver. My 2nd DUI in a little over two years was what finally did it for me (I got total of three, but the first one was a really long time ago). That was my bottom. I look back, and I'm horrified that I drove drunk so many times. Hundreds, maybe thousands. I'm grateful every day of my sobriety that I didn't hurt anyone (or myself) driving drunk. I damaged property twice. It's by the skin of my teeth that it wasn't worse. And the DUI's are only a small part of the damage I did. The other damage was to my soul, and to the souls of those around me. Family and friends. People I loved. That damage was MUCH WORSE than my legal issues. Trust me - you are doing that damage whether you realize it fully or not. Bit by bit, you are damaging your relationships with your family and friends, and with yourself.

Coming here and posting, and getting to four days sober, shows me that you realize you're in trouble. It also shows me that you have the determination to quit. Do you need AA? No. but maybe give it another try, with the mindset that you are not all that different than the other people there. Not everyone in the meetings I go to has major war stories. Maybe see those stories as a cautionary tale, and focus on the fact that there are probably more similarities than differences in your stories. Or, find other ways to get support. It's nearly impossible to go it alone.

And as far as your hobbies and activities go - yeah, I had the same fears that I'd never be able to do my favorite things sober because they were so associated with drinking for me. But as someone else said, when you're a drinker, pretty much everything is a drinking activity by default. Lots of people enjoy those same things sober. I did have to step away from some activities for a while, but I gradually went back to everything I enjoyed, and I do love those things so much more now, sober.

Sorry this turned into a novel. Glad to see you here. Keep coming back and posting. This place was and still is a huge part of my sobriety toolbox.

mns1

Rock bottom for me was my health tanking, melting me like a candle, being terrified I was slowly dying. I don't recommend letting things get to that point. After six long months of hell, I was given a clean bill of health. A "second chance" if you will.

Motivation can be hard to find. And at some point, if you want things to change, you may have to take action whether you feel motivated or not. It's something that took me a long time to accept when it comes to sobriety. But now it's clearer than ever: Never again. No matter what.

At 4 days in and your health intact, you are in as good a position as any to decide that you have taken your last drink. It's worth it, no matter what anyone says.

And yes, you can do this.

ImNotThatGuy

Wow. Thanks everybody.

Looks like I'm going to make it through another day sober.

This is kind of weird though: I felt pretty good yesterday, and today I had some withdrawal (I think) symptoms. Is this normal? Day five has always been where I started to feel in the clear, at least on the withdrawal part.

Anyway, feels good to be sitting here typing this instead of out at some bar wasting my money and time.

Farrier

I believe that withdrawals are different for everyone. In detox/rehab, I virtually had no withdrawal symptoms, and I was transferred out of detox after 72 hours. The following 3-4 nights in a residential room, I would wake up sweating like a water fountain. I was scared to say anything in fear of having to go back. Fortunately, those night sweats subsided after week 2 of quitting.

MLD51

The withdrawal process isn't always linear. I had lots of ups and downs in the first few weeks. A lot of that was emotional, but strong feelings can make you feel pretty sick. There's a lot going on physiologically in your body and brain right now. I would not be too concerned, but if you are really struggling physically, you could always go have a talk with your doctor. My best advice: Hydrate, try to eat really well, exercise as much as you feel like you can, get a good amount of sleep, even if that means naps. You know, basic self-care.

nez

There is nothing normal about alcoholism and trying not to drink when you want to but don't want to at the same time type of thing, except that people in recovery can relate and empathize. Normal is a setting on the washing machine.

I could be totally wrong but it sounds like you are hoping for a big enough scare to make you stop drinking. My experience was that nothing was scary enough to make me stop. I am too stubborn to be be forced into stopping drinking. Wasn't going to happen. I had to volunteer instead of being coerced by fear. When I no longer needed nor looked for justifications for stopping, I voluntarily (not to be confused with easily) joined the ranks of people who don't drink.

Farrier

Nez - I had thoughts of hoping that I wouldn't wake up just before I checked into rehab. I'm glad that i'm still alive to read this forum!

MLD51

I had those thoughts a lot, too. I wasn't actively suicidal, but close. Even that was not quite enough to make me surrender and quit. But it did get my attention, for sure. Life was pretty miserable at that point. I am happy both of are here to read this forum.

ImNotThatGuy

I guess I'm just going to have to ride it out on the withdrawal. It's different this time, low-level but nagging. I haven't (touch wood) had any seizures or even the shakes, but my body is definitely going through a thorough detox process. Part of it might be psychological because I'm determined to quit forever. When I tell myself I'm taking a week off, it's never a problem, as if my AV is like, "OK, cool. See you at the bar on Friday." This time, he's like, "Noooo! You can't do this to me!"

VikingGF

Be prepared for some ups and downs in the early days, but keep in mind that a “bad” day sober is better than any day drinking, and you know that the next day is very likely to be a good one.

DriGuy

This is interesting. For me the psychological part of the addiction eased up when I actually became determined to quit forever. That determination seemed to shut my AV down and cut if off at the knees. Leaving the door open for next Friday night, or the next class reunion, would keep my AV in the game. You don't want your AV in the game. Actually, it's only a game for your AV. The sober you needs to refuse to suit up and not even get out on the field.

I also want to mention the difference between the physical and the psychological parts of addiction. I have to confess that I never figured out where one ends and the other begins. Addiction was a big bowl of stew where those two parts blended together for me. I suspect my psychological lasted much longer than my physical symptoms. But not knowing the difference, how would I know for sure? Just a thought.

Mysteryman

For me, rock rock bottom is six feet under, and thankfulky I havent made it there yet. Im not even sure how close I have come.
But everyone has their own rock bottom, and as others have alluded to, it's probably counter productive to compare yourself or your definition of rock bottom to others.
Being from the UK, I sometimes find it hard to relate to stories from US based posters when they talk abou DUI's/DWI's, rehabs, AA meetings, medical bills, etc etc... Not that they are exclusive to the US of course, but I think there are some big cultural differences.
I didnt drink-drive, I didn't do most of my drinking in bars, never been to AA or rehab, never discussed my drinking with doctors or have any diagnosed health problems, etc. Some of which is a miracle, because Ive been drinking for over 20 years on and off with some weeks easily in excess of 100 units. My point being, if I lived in the US, I think my drinking would be more obviously on the radar of others, whereas here in the UK, I have become a master of hiding it. Not sure what my point is really, perhaps Id be better of in the US I dont know.
Nevertheless, I know Ive been very close to the bottom. I can see it, and it is easy to ignore whilst in the grips of drinking, but I dont want to know how much further it is until I reach it. Its not worth it.

Solarion

Thank you, @nez. I'm finding this especially resonant and helpful.

ThatWasTheOldMe

I have quite a few yets that need to stay that way.
Thank you for this thread.