Class of October 2022 Support Thread Part One
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 14,156
clapping ,Hi Mystery, 54. Citrus, 88, 78, Crog, 29, and September crew!
Keep up the good fight!
Peke, alcohol is a depressant. Brain function is depressed, hindered, and altered. Bring drunk is like having only half a brain and that is the problem. Just like anybody drunk, we are not all there when intoxicated.
Like they say: feel the fear and do it anyway.
“Windshields are big, rearview mirrors are small. Why?
We move and look where we are going, and sometimes just glance in the rearview mirror to see where we’ve been. Don’t stare in the rearview mirror, it’s hard to see where you’re going.”
-Free2bme888
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 2,289
Originally Posted by Lixie 
I'm afraid it's bad news. ( He is so afraid of dying, that he has basically stopped living. His worst fears have been confirmed, and he is ready to lie down and give up. It is so sad, he is just 74 and I wish he could fight instead of giving up. Poor mom. 
I hope you get through this without picking up..
If you don't mind me asking, what type of cancer does he have?
s
Member
Join Date: Oct 2021
Location: PNW, US
Posts: 3,517
My heart is breaking now.
I drank last night because I was sad that I thought I drunk texted a friend something snarky last month. So basically I got drunk last night and binged because of getting drunk and binging in August. How messed up is that? Why on earth would you repeat the same behavior that got you into a pickle in the first place? I guess my problem is that I have thoroughly just thrown in the towel. I can’t stand who I am and I figure there’s no point.
I told my husband that I had to write “day one” here. This is what he texted back to me:
“I’m sorry about the day one thing. But being honest with yourself and with the others, that’s integrity. And keeping your word, your integrity intact, is one of the first steps to re-building self-respect and a feeling of worth. And I think when we lie, especially to ourselves, like when we say just one drink or I can quit any time, that type of stuff… We know we’re lying to ourselves somewhere deep inside, and I think that does a lot of damage to what we think of ourselves.”
I think that he’s right. At least I was honest about what I did last night.
Oh. It turns out that my friend never saw the messages that Ike drunk texted to her. She didn’t write back to me about running because I got our dates mixed up. We’re supposed to run tomorrow. So I drowned my sorrows in wine for nothing. A part of me is very sure that she did see what I wrote. And that just cares about me enough to look the other way.
Love the drama that I inject into my life.
I hate myself. I can’t stand who I am.
sorry.
I drank last night because I was sad that I thought I drunk texted a friend something snarky last month. So basically I got drunk last night and binged because of getting drunk and binging in August. How messed up is that? Why on earth would you repeat the same behavior that got you into a pickle in the first place? I guess my problem is that I have thoroughly just thrown in the towel. I can’t stand who I am and I figure there’s no point.
I told my husband that I had to write “day one” here. This is what he texted back to me:
“I’m sorry about the day one thing. But being honest with yourself and with the others, that’s integrity. And keeping your word, your integrity intact, is one of the first steps to re-building self-respect and a feeling of worth. And I think when we lie, especially to ourselves, like when we say just one drink or I can quit any time, that type of stuff… We know we’re lying to ourselves somewhere deep inside, and I think that does a lot of damage to what we think of ourselves.”
I think that he’s right. At least I was honest about what I did last night.
Oh. It turns out that my friend never saw the messages that Ike drunk texted to her. She didn’t write back to me about running because I got our dates mixed up. We’re supposed to run tomorrow. So I drowned my sorrows in wine for nothing. A part of me is very sure that she did see what I wrote. And that just cares about me enough to look the other way.
Love the drama that I inject into my life.
I hate myself. I can’t stand who I am.
sorry.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2020
Location: Near the mountains
Posts: 1,564
Ugh sorry to hear that all that Peke.. your husband sounds very wise...
and Lixie my thoughts are with you.
Life is so challenging sometimes.
I thought about caving in tonight myself but made it by the skin of my teeth.
My wife is out of town so it's just me and the kids. After they go to bed it's the perfect time to drink, though I need to be sober just in case I had to drive.
I'm so tired.
Good night all
and Lixie my thoughts are with you.
Life is so challenging sometimes.
I thought about caving in tonight myself but made it by the skin of my teeth.
My wife is out of town so it's just me and the kids. After they go to bed it's the perfect time to drink, though I need to be sober just in case I had to drive.
I'm so tired.
Good night all
Say cheese!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,379
((((hugs))) peke. you can do this hun, it wasnt all for nothing just learn from the blip x hey u got second chance in having a run with your friend and get back on track. your so worth it hun xx
good job five on not drinking x
sry just a quick check in from me as i have work this morning and i must have at least 3 cups of tea before i go to work x
have good day everyone if you can xx
good job five on not drinking x
sry just a quick check in from me as i have work this morning and i must have at least 3 cups of tea before i go to work x
have good day everyone if you can xx
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 2,289
So I guess feeling down on yourself is a trigger Peke? Might be good for you to take a look at and put some plans into place for next time so you don't give in to the trigger?
You might not like yourself but that doesn't mean that you're a bad person or that others think the same..
Big hugs and i hope you feel better soon.
You might not like yourself but that doesn't mean that you're a bad person or that others think the same..
Big hugs and i hope you feel better soon.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2021
Location: PNW, US
Posts: 3,517
Awesome, five!! So proud of you for resisting the urge to drink. Thank you for your support.
Erratic…thank you so ,ugh for what you wrote. It means a lot to me. I feel alone and scared.
Thanks Red. Yes. I hate myself. I hate my voice, appearance body, personality all of it.
I tried to look at myself in the mirror and to say I love you. I couldn’t do it.
Tomorrow is another day.
Erratic…thank you so ,ugh for what you wrote. It means a lot to me. I feel alone and scared.
Thanks Red. Yes. I hate myself. I hate my voice, appearance body, personality all of it.
I tried to look at myself in the mirror and to say I love you. I couldn’t do it.
Tomorrow is another day.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 1,956
I relapsed about 110 times last year.. that re-charging gave me enough power to throw it away one day. We just got to be a bit patient with ourselves.
For me, posting here before I drank helped a ton. Look back at my posts for the amount of white knuckling I had to...
For me, posting here before I drank helped a ton. Look back at my posts for the amount of white knuckling I had to...
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 204
Hang in there Peke! At least you're still trying and this could be your last day one.
I had to listen to my husband and adult son tell me about the stupid things I did on Monday while I was blackout drunk. The things I did made no sense and seemed utterly crazy to them. All the while I'm telling them that I hadn't had anything to drink. Of course I don't remember any of it. I'm totally embarrassed, but I've learned my lesson! I apologized to them both, fessed up that I was drinking, and promised "again" that it would be the last time. I'm praying it is! I've be sober for almost three years and I can do it again with their support and SR.
I had to listen to my husband and adult son tell me about the stupid things I did on Monday while I was blackout drunk. The things I did made no sense and seemed utterly crazy to them. All the while I'm telling them that I hadn't had anything to drink. Of course I don't remember any of it. I'm totally embarrassed, but I've learned my lesson! I apologized to them both, fessed up that I was drinking, and promised "again" that it would be the last time. I'm praying it is! I've be sober for almost three years and I can do it again with their support and SR.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,649
Hi PL
It was very hard for me to stop drinking because I had so many reasons feelings and situations I drank over, but in the end I had to admit I had to change things or I was going to find myself in very serious trouble, if not dead.
It wasn't fun sitting with those feelings, but self medicating just made me feel worse.
I had to take the option of drinking off the table...no matter what.
I didn't love myself at the beginning of this journey...quite the opposite...but I grew to love myself the farther I got away from my last drink.
If I can do it. you can too
D
It was very hard for me to stop drinking because I had so many reasons feelings and situations I drank over, but in the end I had to admit I had to change things or I was going to find myself in very serious trouble, if not dead.
It wasn't fun sitting with those feelings, but self medicating just made me feel worse.
I had to take the option of drinking off the table...no matter what.
I didn't love myself at the beginning of this journey...quite the opposite...but I grew to love myself the farther I got away from my last drink.
If I can do it. you can too
D
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