Class of June 2022 Support Thread Part 3
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Class of June 2022 Support Thread Part 3
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Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 154
Happy Monday all. Hope your all well. Just putting a little marker here to make it easier for me.
Worried glad your doing OK and your keeping the AV down. 💪
Hello to everyone else 🖐
Stubbs hope your doing good wherever you are.
Must dash. Ttfn xx
Worried glad your doing OK and your keeping the AV down. 💪
Hello to everyone else 🖐
Stubbs hope your doing good wherever you are.
Must dash. Ttfn xx
Member
Join Date: Oct 2021
Posts: 12,486
Really really struggling here in my little corner of the world and it seems to be getting harder and harder to pull myself up. No, I have not drank and I have no intention of drinking. It would not "solve" anything. I am just tired of the increasing depression, the pain in my hip, my insomnia, helping my Mom and MIL, and having Mr. A away. I am just getting done..
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Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 154
Good evening/morning all.
Dear Alpine. I'm sorry to hear your not feeling your good self right now and I hope this cloud lifts real soon for you.
Sending my love and positive, happier days wishes from my little corner to yours. ❤
Hi to everyone. I hope your all well.
Just a short one from me again. It's late and I'm so bloomin tired. Il blame the change in weather. Its gone so freakin cold 🥶
Good night, god bless ❤
Dear Alpine. I'm sorry to hear your not feeling your good self right now and I hope this cloud lifts real soon for you.
Sending my love and positive, happier days wishes from my little corner to yours. ❤
Hi to everyone. I hope your all well.
Just a short one from me again. It's late and I'm so bloomin tired. Il blame the change in weather. Its gone so freakin cold 🥶
Good night, god bless ❤
Member
Join Date: Jun 2022
Location: UK
Posts: 620
Yes, it's starting to get a bit colder chevy, time for some warmer clothes 
. At least it's sunny here today. Gosh, I'm tired. Done shopping this morning and picking up gkids this afternoon.
Day 42, yaaay, 6 weeks already and feeling ok
Keep going everyone
. At least it's sunny here today. Gosh, I'm tired. Done shopping this morning and picking up gkids this afternoon.Day 42, yaaay, 6 weeks already and feeling ok
Keep going everyone
Member
Join Date: Oct 2021
Posts: 12,486
Still not in a good place in life. Why does it have to be so darn hard at times and why can't I deal with certain situations better than others? Mr. A says, everyone has anxiety and depression. Of course I know that, Him saying , that does not help me. He chose to be gone for anniversary again and was gone last year as well. I know it is just a date but still. Things got really bad last year at this time so now I am reliving it all over again without him here.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,516
You feelings are your feelings, love. I don't like it when mine are dismissed in that way. And no, not everyone has anxiety and depression, and that is not relevant, in any case. I know you are upset. This is a lot for you. And I am sorry you are apart on your anniversary when it means so much. I am hoping that your husband will do something lovely for you, even if he is not physically there. 
s
Congrats dear Worried!
Hi Chevy.
sCongrats dear Worried!
Hi Chevy.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2022
Location: UK
Posts: 620
Morning
Hello Alpine, sorry you're still in a bad place. I used to be in a similar though not the same situation and I felt I aught to be able to help you but of course while my MIL lived with us our situations are very different too. I'm sorry I can't make things better for you but I am so glad that you aren't wanting to drink over this and hope you have enough strength to keep going. It'll pass eventually, it's hard to believe at the time, but it does.
I was going over my own situation and partly wanted to write it down and say how awful it all was, but it'll just depress me. Besides, it's nigh on impossible to give an accurate telling of what happened. I could tell it one way emphasizing certain things and then another way emphasizing other things and make it sound like a different story. It can be difficult to be objective. Of course the fact is, I felt awful, terrible, depressed, I'm glad it's over. I'm sure it's not all in my mind, even my mother said he'd married me just to look after his mother/parents. When we married he moved to a bigger house and his parents moved up from their town to live with us at the same time. I will say that I was left some money by a kind relative and the house is fairly half mine too, that's just by the by. Right from the get go I was supposed to do as I was told. He was in his late 50's at the time- so younger than I am now. I set about painting a bedroom for one of my sons and he got really angry and told me I shouldn't be doing that, I should be giving his mother her tea. He never liked any attention I gave my own family, it's still a difficult situation that I have to go to look after my grandchildren. He doesn't like it.
My alcoholism wasn't as bad then so he didn't mind it so much in fact it just made me easier to manipulate. He once said I was easy to manipulate. He said it when I was emailing this man about something and he said be careful because you're easy to manipulate. I've always been younger than him (lol, yes I still am) so I've always done the heavy lifting like the shopping and pushing his mother around in a wheel chair, which could be heavy going round shops and clothing aisles. He never did it, but when I came in from a day out with my MIL he would smilingly say 'did you have a good time' . He knew I found it tiring and hard going as she was demanding and just pointed the way she wanted to go, he never said 'thankyou', just 'did you have a good time'. Whatever I did was never enough, never right, never really noticed, except when I did it wrong, like filling the dishwasher or anything else I did my way for that matter.
Believe it or not I was nuts about him at one time. I suppose you'd say I was 'in love' which of course is different from loving someone but he's always been special to me. Years before we were married he said to me 'would you look after me when I'm old, would you push me in a wheel chair?' well of course I said an enthusiastic 'yes', and I meant it too, I loved him sooooo much I'd have done anything for him lol.
So that's where we are now, though he's actually a very fit and healthy 80 year old and often seems to have more energy than me but he does say I should go shopping with him as its cruelty to expect him to do it on his own. He still needs me to carry the bags - and they can be heavy even with just the two of us, but there's four cats aswell and cat food can be heavy. He doesn't need a wheelchair yet but I'm trying to stay sober and healthy for when he does
Well I've had a good whine anyway, maybe I don't feel so depressed after all.
The sun is shining. Both sets of parents are dead and gone , they were loved but they brought problems too. That's life I suppose.
bye for now
Hello Alpine, sorry you're still in a bad place. I used to be in a similar though not the same situation and I felt I aught to be able to help you but of course while my MIL lived with us our situations are very different too. I'm sorry I can't make things better for you but I am so glad that you aren't wanting to drink over this and hope you have enough strength to keep going. It'll pass eventually, it's hard to believe at the time, but it does.
I was going over my own situation and partly wanted to write it down and say how awful it all was, but it'll just depress me. Besides, it's nigh on impossible to give an accurate telling of what happened. I could tell it one way emphasizing certain things and then another way emphasizing other things and make it sound like a different story. It can be difficult to be objective. Of course the fact is, I felt awful, terrible, depressed, I'm glad it's over. I'm sure it's not all in my mind, even my mother said he'd married me just to look after his mother/parents. When we married he moved to a bigger house and his parents moved up from their town to live with us at the same time. I will say that I was left some money by a kind relative and the house is fairly half mine too, that's just by the by. Right from the get go I was supposed to do as I was told. He was in his late 50's at the time- so younger than I am now. I set about painting a bedroom for one of my sons and he got really angry and told me I shouldn't be doing that, I should be giving his mother her tea. He never liked any attention I gave my own family, it's still a difficult situation that I have to go to look after my grandchildren. He doesn't like it.
My alcoholism wasn't as bad then so he didn't mind it so much in fact it just made me easier to manipulate. He once said I was easy to manipulate. He said it when I was emailing this man about something and he said be careful because you're easy to manipulate. I've always been younger than him (lol, yes I still am) so I've always done the heavy lifting like the shopping and pushing his mother around in a wheel chair, which could be heavy going round shops and clothing aisles. He never did it, but when I came in from a day out with my MIL he would smilingly say 'did you have a good time' . He knew I found it tiring and hard going as she was demanding and just pointed the way she wanted to go, he never said 'thankyou', just 'did you have a good time'. Whatever I did was never enough, never right, never really noticed, except when I did it wrong, like filling the dishwasher or anything else I did my way for that matter.
Believe it or not I was nuts about him at one time. I suppose you'd say I was 'in love' which of course is different from loving someone but he's always been special to me. Years before we were married he said to me 'would you look after me when I'm old, would you push me in a wheel chair?' well of course I said an enthusiastic 'yes', and I meant it too, I loved him sooooo much I'd have done anything for him lol.
So that's where we are now, though he's actually a very fit and healthy 80 year old and often seems to have more energy than me but he does say I should go shopping with him as its cruelty to expect him to do it on his own. He still needs me to carry the bags - and they can be heavy even with just the two of us, but there's four cats aswell and cat food can be heavy. He doesn't need a wheelchair yet but I'm trying to stay sober and healthy for when he does
Well I've had a good whine anyway, maybe I don't feel so depressed after all.
The sun is shining. Both sets of parents are dead and gone , they were loved but they brought problems too. That's life I suppose.
bye for now
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 154
Hi everyone.
Wow Worried, iv just read your post. Your a very patient lady and your hubby is very very lucky to have you in his life.
It made me sad that he said you were easy to manipulate. That's quite brazen.
Its clear you have a lovely kind soul. I hate it when people take advantage of such lovely traits.
At one time I used to give, give, give and let people take and take. Now I just don't have the patience. The thing with me though is that iv spent a long time on my own looking after my dear son and I quite like it that way. Iv actually enjoyed my life more being single than I ever have in a relationship. Sounds sad I know but I'm a very chilled person by nature and I love peace and quiet. I really resent folks who bring stress to my life or any kind of negativity.
Alpine, sorry to hear your still not feeling so good. Thinking of you and hope your smile comes back soon.
Hi to Venus and Dee and Stubbs and everyone else 👋 Hope your all well.
Super late one for me again 😴 . And I'm Plum tuckered.
Night everyone. Sleep well ✌❤
Wow Worried, iv just read your post. Your a very patient lady and your hubby is very very lucky to have you in his life.
It made me sad that he said you were easy to manipulate. That's quite brazen.
Its clear you have a lovely kind soul. I hate it when people take advantage of such lovely traits.
At one time I used to give, give, give and let people take and take. Now I just don't have the patience. The thing with me though is that iv spent a long time on my own looking after my dear son and I quite like it that way. Iv actually enjoyed my life more being single than I ever have in a relationship. Sounds sad I know but I'm a very chilled person by nature and I love peace and quiet. I really resent folks who bring stress to my life or any kind of negativity.
Alpine, sorry to hear your still not feeling so good. Thinking of you and hope your smile comes back soon.
Hi to Venus and Dee and Stubbs and everyone else 👋 Hope your all well.
Super late one for me again 😴 . And I'm Plum tuckered.
Night everyone. Sleep well ✌❤
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 154
Hi everyone.
Well, I have some bad news tonight. I didn't drink alcohol but last night I'm ashamed to say I smoked stuff. I don't know why I did it. I haven't done that in about 20 years. It made me feel horrendous and very paranoid and iv felt like crap all day. Iv been exhausted, jittery, foffy headed and anxious just like those 4am dark hours after drinking. Still feel horrible now.
it was a lot more potent than I ever remember and the bad experience has left me knowing I'm not gonna do that again either but I'm worried about why I even went there. I think it was to curb the AV which has been annoying lately. I think I tried to cheat but it's the same really isn't it . I was smashed at one point .
I read today that this stuff can also contribute to nerve damage and I don't know why I didn't think of that. God I'm stupid at times!!
Does this cancel out all my sober days now ? . Am I back to day 1 ?
Im really Sorry for letting you guys down too.
😥
Well, I have some bad news tonight. I didn't drink alcohol but last night I'm ashamed to say I smoked stuff. I don't know why I did it. I haven't done that in about 20 years. It made me feel horrendous and very paranoid and iv felt like crap all day. Iv been exhausted, jittery, foffy headed and anxious just like those 4am dark hours after drinking. Still feel horrible now.
it was a lot more potent than I ever remember and the bad experience has left me knowing I'm not gonna do that again either but I'm worried about why I even went there. I think it was to curb the AV which has been annoying lately. I think I tried to cheat but it's the same really isn't it . I was smashed at one point .
I read today that this stuff can also contribute to nerve damage and I don't know why I didn't think of that. God I'm stupid at times!!
Does this cancel out all my sober days now ? . Am I back to day 1 ?
Im really Sorry for letting you guys down too.
😥
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
The AV is very adept at trying the "ok you don't drink... so how about THIS..." switcheroo.
Try not and beat yourself up too much CP - you fell for it, but sounds to me like you wont fall for it again
Counting is an individual thing.
I have one clean'n'sober date... but some people have a variety of sobriety dates for different things.
D
Try not and beat yourself up too much CP - you fell for it, but sounds to me like you wont fall for it again
Counting is an individual thing.
I have one clean'n'sober date... but some people have a variety of sobriety dates for different things.
D
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