dustyfox

I feel for you Red. It IS your story, your journey and you own it.
It's great if your partner wants to support you but they can just do it quietly. Tell him how you feel.
You are doing well and you need to keep this as your business.
I will be rooting for you!

calmself

Many actually feel envious of non drinkers these days. I get kudos when I tell folks that I haven't drunk for so many days. Many ask what the inspiration is and how I manage my stress!

Having said that, I would want to know more about his tone. There are two ways of saying " It's been x days since she has had any kind of alcohol" . If it's one of sarcasm or mockery it's very bad. On the other hand if he's proud, then well it's a different story.

DriGuy

I got side tracked on my early comment. I don't disagree with the rest of the comments. It's not your partners's place to broadcast your recovery. Whether he means well or is registering a complaint, or thinks you're being silly, It's not his place unless you ask him to do it.

Red78

It's really hard to tell what his motivation is but he's very quick to tell people that I'm not drinking. He has never wanted to support me before in not drinking and has denied I had a problem even when I've opened up to him saying I think I had a problem.
You were right in your earlier comment about most people not having an issue as the majority at dinner tonight barely had a drink.. If it was my family though it definitely would've been different..

RAL

Being scared in a relationship and unable to communicate is concerning. The issue of talking about your not drinking sounds as though it's just one thing in a long line of issues.

I hope you are able to take steps to put yourself first and protect yourself . I know fir me when I stopped drinking for a few years it made me reasses my marriage and stop putting up with a relationship that wasnt good for me

Red78

That was the driving factor for me to give up drinking, so I can see through the fog and make a real decision with a clear head..

Radix

I don't have anything to add to what's said already, except to show solidarity with you. I'd be upset if my partner shared my sober status publicly without my permission.

Pardon the analogy, but it's like the scene in a recent movie where a main character is proudly gay, but gets really angry when a friend outs him. Their conversation is like this:

"I didn't think you'd care, because you're so okay with it."

"I am okay with it, but it's MY story to tell, not yours."

I'd explain that your sober status is something personal, something that you are happy about, but it's your story to tell, not anyone else's. If your partner wants to tell someone, he should ask your permission first. Ideally, some gentle education about how this is personal should set him straight.

If he keeps sharing with people despite your request, then he's got problems.

Free2bme888

Red, when I got sober, I could see things so much more clearly. I wasn’t sure of what I was seeing and feeling, because I’d been manipulated for so long.

i came here, as you have, and got so much help.

The title to one of my threads is “He says he’s moving in or he’s moving on”. It’s a pretty good read. When I was IN it, even though the title gives me the answer I wasn’t sure of in and of itself, the friends and family section in SR is so helpful

big hugs

🤓❤️

melki

Regardless what the issue is, if your partner is doing something that bothers you, you should be able to talk about it. Best wishes to sort this out.