What is there to do when you're not drunk?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2022
Posts: 59
What is there to do when you're not drunk?
When you stopped abusing alcohol, did you struggle to fill the gap with anything? I struggle. I ought to accept my life is pointless, and that would be great, but the lack of alcohol magnifies the pointlessness in some high, unbearable definition. Don't get me wrong, I don't look at everyone else and want to change places with them - most definitely not. Even so, years of abuse have filled a lot of time; time that's now empty.
Someone might say how they stopped drinking and then started taking up craft work or listening to Kraftwerk. I don't want activity just for the sake of time filling. I suppose it's the vacancy that caused me to drink in the first place.
Did you struggle with the empty hours? I certainly do.
Someone might say how they stopped drinking and then started taking up craft work or listening to Kraftwerk. I don't want activity just for the sake of time filling. I suppose it's the vacancy that caused me to drink in the first place.
Did you struggle with the empty hours? I certainly do.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,518
A list compiled by our members:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ething-do.html (Looking For Something To Do?)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ething-do.html (Looking For Something To Do?)
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
I did at first. Then I looked back at my life and thought about the things I did before drinking filled all my available time.
Turns out I still like to do many of those things.
I also discovered some additional things that I enjoy doing along the way.
As for life's meaning, I defer to Uncle Walt:
That you are here—that life exists and identity,
That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.
Best of Luck on Your Journey!
Turns out I still like to do many of those things.
I also discovered some additional things that I enjoy doing along the way.
As for life's meaning, I defer to Uncle Walt:
That you are here—that life exists and identity,
That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.
Best of Luck on Your Journey!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,456
Make your life what you’d want it to be. There’s nothing stopping you 
Follow interests, take up hobbies - be of service to your fellow human beings.
Purpose and meaning are out there - you just have to look for them.
D
Follow interests, take up hobbies - be of service to your fellow human beings.
Purpose and meaning are out there - you just have to look for them.
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 302
I understand completely!!! I had so much time on my hands I didn’t know what to do.
So I jointed a dance class, started volunteering, and discovered my green thumb in the garden. These are activities I did not participate in when I was drinking. You have to find things that interest you. It’s definitely worth picking up a new hobby!
So I jointed a dance class, started volunteering, and discovered my green thumb in the garden. These are activities I did not participate in when I was drinking. You have to find things that interest you. It’s definitely worth picking up a new hobby!
Member
Join Date: May 2021
Location: England
Posts: 1,850
I think it depends on your life situation. Taking up craft just to fill time seems pointless.
Serving your fellow human beings does not seem pointless, in fact might be just what you need and may change your perspective.
If you own life seems pointless then help someone else - you will then soon feel there is a point to your life.
One year of sober living will change everything and you will never look back.
Serving your fellow human beings does not seem pointless, in fact might be just what you need and may change your perspective.
If you own life seems pointless then help someone else - you will then soon feel there is a point to your life.
One year of sober living will change everything and you will never look back.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: The Midwest
Posts: 649
I suggest a reframe.
You aren't just filling time - you can pursue things that make yourself or others around you better. You can volunteer, join clubs, play games, seek therapy. And sometimes, it's okay to be bored and just reflect and enjoy the stillness. Things like yoga and meditation are self-improving. The sky is really the limit.
If you have trouble finding enjoyment in things, think about seeing a counselor too to address any continued or underlining depression you may have.
Good luck. Hope you find something to do you can enjoy. I remember what it was like to have no idea "what to do with myself" in those early days. It took time, but now I'm busier than I would even like to be between work/hobbies/family/grad school... I can barely find a free moment to myself. Give yourself some time to explore things.
You aren't just filling time - you can pursue things that make yourself or others around you better. You can volunteer, join clubs, play games, seek therapy. And sometimes, it's okay to be bored and just reflect and enjoy the stillness. Things like yoga and meditation are self-improving. The sky is really the limit.
If you have trouble finding enjoyment in things, think about seeing a counselor too to address any continued or underlining depression you may have.
Good luck
. Hope you find something to do you can enjoy. I remember what it was like to have no idea "what to do with myself" in those early days. It took time, but now I'm busier than I would even like to be between work/hobbies/family/grad school... I can barely find a free moment to myself. Give yourself some time to explore things.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 278
Good advice so far. I ended up with too much time on my hands, and so I started volunteering.
And volunteering became a thing, with regular shifts, and a schedule.
It really awakens a sense of purpose when you know other people are counting on you to show up... and are thankful for your presence.
And volunteering became a thing, with regular shifts, and a schedule.
It really awakens a sense of purpose when you know other people are counting on you to show up... and are thankful for your presence.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
Oh my gosh. I have so many things I want to do, there is not enough time in the day (or left in my life for that matter) to get to them all.
Hiking, biking, touring, travel, motorcycling adventures, kayaking, photography, trying a new type of food, experiencing a new culture, learning a language, teaching a kid something, reading a book.. the list is endless.
Life is awesome once you lose your addiction.
Hiking, biking, touring, travel, motorcycling adventures, kayaking, photography, trying a new type of food, experiencing a new culture, learning a language, teaching a kid something, reading a book.. the list is endless.
Life is awesome once you lose your addiction.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,948
I’d turn the question around. What are you doing when you’re drinking?
Having activities is essential for quitting to work. You’ll have way more time on your hands as you’ve said, so do something you enjoy doing instead. The people on here who constantly relapse are those who haven’t changed anything else in their lives.
When you quit drinking, you’ll be way better off physically and mentally, and you’ll be surprised what’s possible once you’re free from alcohol.
Having activities is essential for quitting to work. You’ll have way more time on your hands as you’ve said, so do something you enjoy doing instead. The people on here who constantly relapse are those who haven’t changed anything else in their lives.
When you quit drinking, you’ll be way better off physically and mentally, and you’ll be surprised what’s possible once you’re free from alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 1,025
Yes, I struggled big time.
My solution was to initially fill the time with anything I could. If it became boring I’d find something else, over and over again.
Over time I found things that mean something to me, way more than drinking ever did, and eventually I found inner peace.
But it took trial and error, and it takes time and patience. It’s a process of rediscovery of who you are, or reinventing who you want to be, and all it takes is action, patience and honesty - action to keep trying, patience to wait for results, and honesty to decide what works.
I know it sounds laborious and boring, but it has been and continues to be the best, most fun and most rewarding process I’ve ever been through.
My solution was to initially fill the time with anything I could. If it became boring I’d find something else, over and over again.
Over time I found things that mean something to me, way more than drinking ever did, and eventually I found inner peace.
But it took trial and error, and it takes time and patience. It’s a process of rediscovery of who you are, or reinventing who you want to be, and all it takes is action, patience and honesty - action to keep trying, patience to wait for results, and honesty to decide what works.
I know it sounds laborious and boring, but it has been and continues to be the best, most fun and most rewarding process I’ve ever been through.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: NC
Posts: 5,161
Absolutely anything you want to do.
I struggled at first of course but now there isn't enough time in the day.
Get sober and life will find you.
You may end up somewhere doing something you never imagined.
I know I have more than once.
I'm living in a state I said I would never move to. Doing things I've always wanted to.
No longer wasting my days wasted.
I struggled at first of course but now there isn't enough time in the day.
Get sober and life will find you.
You may end up somewhere doing something you never imagined.
I know I have more than once.
I'm living in a state I said I would never move to. Doing things I've always wanted to.
No longer wasting my days wasted.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,171
There are too many things to do when you quit drinking to actually list them all. What to do is not the problem. I think the problem comes from not wanting to do anything. Sometimes I enjoy not doing anything too. This may sound cavalier, but early on, my first order of business was just to bask in the pleasure of my sobriety. I gradually added actual "things" to do, but this was a natural process. I also wonder if complaining about aspects of sobriety like, "There's nothing to do," is just your AV trying to draw you back in.
When you think about it, drinking is the epitome of doing nothing. It doesn't even require you to get off your couch, except to mix a drink. But mostly it involves no more than swallowing. Over the years, we master this activity, but take it from me, it doesn't take much to get good at it. Now you are in uncharted waters, but there is no end of things to do. It's just unfamiliar to you, but it's not a dangerous place.
When you think about it, drinking is the epitome of doing nothing. It doesn't even require you to get off your couch, except to mix a drink. But mostly it involves no more than swallowing. Over the years, we master this activity, but take it from me, it doesn't take much to get good at it. Now you are in uncharted waters, but there is no end of things to do. It's just unfamiliar to you, but it's not a dangerous place.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2021
Posts: 527
If you're an alcoholic of the type I am, then life will likely remain pointless unless you work the steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, which promise a spiritual awakening "as the result of these steps." Feel free to PM me if you want to chat more about that.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,948
Originally Posted by novips 
If you're an alcoholic of the type I am, then life will likely remain pointless unless you work the steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, which promise a spiritual awakening "as the result of these steps." Feel free to PM me if you want to chat more about that.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
