Dee74

I also think you are doing great Magnolia - it won’t always be this tough

D

RunningScared

Add me as another one who thinks you are doing great.

Primativo

You really are doing great, you are showing how strong you are. The better times are just around the corner, just keep pushing forward and trust us when we say you will come out of this and you never have to go back, ever again.

Magnolia123

Thank you everyone.

I did have a seizure and must have hurt my head.

The past few weeks are a confusing blurr.
I'm just starting to come out of it.

I can NEVER drink again. NEVER.

So disappointed that I did this to myself. I just couldn't take it anymore.

I had to stop reading at benzobuddies.com.
Reading everyones symptoms and general discouraging posts about coming off benzos was too much for me.

I learned a new phrase "Benzodiazepine Induced Neurological Disorder" BIND

Its ...not good.

I never would have started them if I had known.

I don't trust the doctors anymore 😕

I'm scared witless.

Dee74

I understand the fear and distrust for doctors but if this is a new thing and you recently had a seizure Magnolia you need to get checked out.

Its not something I'd leave to chance.

D

Radix

If you had a seizure, you should definitely get it checked out. You don't want to just assume it was from using or withdrawing. There could be something else going on.

That said, it should be pretty easy to make sure you never take benzos again. I don't know your whole story, but if you tell the doctor you have benzodiazepine use disorder and you don't want to take any, they should respect that. You don't even have to say that, you can just simply decline a prescription saying it's not a treatment plan you want. And if that doesn't work, you can just not fill a prescription if you can't avoid getting one. I do agree with you though that avoiding them is probably going to make you happier than taking them.

Steely

I think it's always better to taper. But that's just me, and a large part of the medical community if you read the literature.

Depends of course on amount taken over time, but still, it's the thumb rule.

If you've had a seizure Magnolia think you need to see your doctor to discuss. Maybe talk about taper, connecting with therapist or similar support.

Stay safe.

CBS62

Hi Magnolia. I agree with Steely. It is better to taper off benzos. I have PAWS and Bind. It will get better but it takes time for your brain to heal. Hang in the here. Don’t drink. You are being so brave.

CBS62

Hi Magnolia. I agree with Steely. It is better to taper off benzos. I have PAWS and Bind. It will get better but it takes time for your brain to heal. Hang in the here. Don’t drink. You are being so brave.

Magnolia123

Reading at benzobuddies about tapers it seems so complicated and I can't focus or concentrate right now.

I am really messed up.

Trying to feel just a little stable.

Hawkeye13

You aren’t drinking and that is huge. Maybe discuss with your doctor and don’t stress about it right now.

Are you doing other self-care things like good healthy food, hydration, light exercise and resting / napping often?

I also found just picking up around where I sat / slept to be soothing even though I wasn’t up to heavy cleaning for awhile.

Whatever you do or don’t do right now is OK—the focus is getting better and staying sober. You are succeeding!

Magnolia123

Thanks Hawkeye I really needed to hear that.

I'm not thinking straight.

VikingGF

A doctor should be able to help you taper safely, Magnolia. I have good thoughts coming your way.

Hawkeye13

I am with the taper suggestion but understand it is a holiday weekend, however, safety is most important so please don’t hesitate to get help if you need it—

Steely

I found the advice on tapering very confusing too, Magnolia, but after a while I got the hang.

In the beginning i was filing back single pills with an emery board.

It was tragic.

Are you able to talk honestly with your doctor Magnolia? It would be a start.

Magnolia123

Wow.

I don't see my doctor until next month..

I don't know how much more I can live with.

Dee74

You can always go to the ER Magnolia.

D

Magnolia123

They're sick of seeing me there.

They won't do anything anyway.

Steely

Are you taking benzos at the moment Magnolia? Are you drinking?

If you are doing both, or only one, and are feeling unstable, might be a good idea to phone your doctor to explain, or go to ER.

I'm not being overly dramatic about this Magnolia, but you've had a seizure, and bumped your head.

Its difficult to know what you are doing Magnolia, your replies so brief, mainly describing how unwell you feel, and in which case think you should phone your doctor.

I thought you said you were getting a new script on the 6th this month?

I don't think you're doing so great if you are feeling this way. I think you need to see a doctor. ER.

Magnolia123

No drinking or benzos.

I am getting a new script on the 6th. It's a refill and they won't refill it before then.

Sorry for the brief replies.

I'm just in bed trying to get my mind right.