Recipe for staying sober- Weekenders 08 -11 October 2021
Magsie
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,688
Recipe for staying sober- Weekenders 08 -11 October 2021
Welcome to the Weekenders
I’ve noticed the recipe for sobriety has certain ingredients that work.
Once you have mastered the ingredients to your liking you can have the perfect recipe for you.
Mine may not suit you and finding the ingredients most flavoured for you will help you on your sober journey.
If this is your first weekend sober, or many, come join us for support and chat...as we know the weekends can be a struggle sometimes. (We’re here all week too!)
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,809
I'm in!
That's really a thoughtful response, Nons, I like it.
Lately I have caught myself thinking for brief moments that a drink might be nice. It's weird to me that these thoughts still pop up after all this time, but it goes to show how strong that pull is. Almost without exception, the thoughts come up when it's something different that I need - a drink of water, something to eat, some rest, a friendly voice. Self-care has been difficult for me recently - so busy with work and other things. I have to remember that the AV will sneak in and exploit any little crack in the armor. This weekend I'm planning some serious relaxation. No plans for anything else, really. I need down time. I am finally learning to listen to my mind and body and what they are telling me. I believe this is a very important sobriety tool. Part of my recipe for continuing sobriety.
Nice to see everyone here!
That's really a thoughtful response, Nons, I like it.
Lately I have caught myself thinking for brief moments that a drink might be nice. It's weird to me that these thoughts still pop up after all this time, but it goes to show how strong that pull is. Almost without exception, the thoughts come up when it's something different that I need - a drink of water, something to eat, some rest, a friendly voice. Self-care has been difficult for me recently - so busy with work and other things. I have to remember that the AV will sneak in and exploit any little crack in the armor. This weekend I'm planning some serious relaxation. No plans for anything else, really. I need down time. I am finally learning to listen to my mind and body and what they are telling me. I believe this is a very important sobriety tool. Part of my recipe for continuing sobriety.
Nice to see everyone here!
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,340
Good morning!
One fact I think might be confusing for those of us who don’t have long term sobriety (thinking 1000 days plus), is that the recipe for successful (contented) sobriety contains either many ingredients, or only one. And as many of us that are out there, the recipe is different, and no one has the answer for us individually. That’s a difficult recipe to follow, but we know for a fact also, that many many people succeed.
Heres mine:
Drink often and in enough quantities to get addicted to alcohol
Feel deep shame and make bad decisions because of the addiction
Realize something needs to change, let these things set and get rotten.
Try different things in your life to change after identifying things that are at fault. (Residential location, job, family member(s), exercise, eating habits). Be careful to guard that relationship with alcohol, it can’t be THAT 🧐…..
Realize you are still miserable. Perhaps you wonder if you have a ‘problem’.
Google alcohol use disorders.
Google what is NORMAL drinking
Realize alcohol is POISON.
Realize the ridiculousness of the marketing slogan “DRINK RESPONSIBILITY” (Its akin to ‘shoot up responsibly’)
Realize you are killing yourself, and hurting others you love
Realize you are addicted
Try to moderate
Fail
Try to moderate
Fail
Try to moderate
Fail
Get some long stretches of sobriety.
White knuckle it.
Try some ingredients in the recipe that have worked for others, they just might work for you
Ex. AVRT
SMART
AA
SR
THERAPY
DETOX
IOP
DBT
CBT
Avoid all alcohol situation (forever or initially)
Practice saying ‘no thanks’
Do things for you as if you care about yourself. A lot.
Be grateful
Maybe fail. Maybe succeed.
Try the recipe again.
Forgive yourself.
Be grateful
Give of yourself to others (yes, you DO have something to offer) that is, service to others.
love yourself.
be grateful
Try recipe again, mix, match, omit some ingredients again.
Never stop the quest for the correct ingredients for you.
be grateful
Listen to the wise ones after you find them. Listen……..
Listen to your soul, feel the response from the universe.
Your soul is pleased, the universe is pleased, your loved ones are pleased.
Its a win-win.
Never stop trying the recipe, adapt as life chapters change.
be grateful
Give up the ingredients that don’t belong in the recipe. (Your poison of choice HAS TO GO).
😍
One fact I think might be confusing for those of us who don’t have long term sobriety (thinking 1000 days plus), is that the recipe for successful (contented) sobriety contains either many ingredients, or only one. And as many of us that are out there, the recipe is different, and no one has the answer for us individually. That’s a difficult recipe to follow, but we know for a fact also, that many many people succeed.
Heres mine:
Drink often and in enough quantities to get addicted to alcohol
Feel deep shame and make bad decisions because of the addiction
Realize something needs to change, let these things set and get rotten.
Try different things in your life to change after identifying things that are at fault. (Residential location, job, family member(s), exercise, eating habits). Be careful to guard that relationship with alcohol, it can’t be THAT 🧐…..
Realize you are still miserable. Perhaps you wonder if you have a ‘problem’.
Google alcohol use disorders.
Google what is NORMAL drinking
Realize alcohol is POISON.
Realize the ridiculousness of the marketing slogan “DRINK RESPONSIBILITY” (Its akin to ‘shoot up responsibly’)
Realize you are killing yourself, and hurting others you love
Realize you are addicted
Try to moderate
Fail
Try to moderate
Fail
Try to moderate
Fail
Get some long stretches of sobriety.
White knuckle it.
Try some ingredients in the recipe that have worked for others, they just might work for you
Ex. AVRT
SMART
AA
SR
THERAPY
DETOX
IOP
DBT
CBT
Avoid all alcohol situation (forever or initially)
Practice saying ‘no thanks’
Do things for you as if you care about yourself. A lot.
Be grateful
Maybe fail. Maybe succeed.
Try the recipe again.
Forgive yourself.
Be grateful
Give of yourself to others (yes, you DO have something to offer) that is, service to others.
love yourself.
be grateful
Try recipe again, mix, match, omit some ingredients again.
Never stop the quest for the correct ingredients for you.
be grateful
Listen to the wise ones after you find them. Listen……..
Listen to your soul, feel the response from the universe.
Your soul is pleased, the universe is pleased, your loved ones are pleased.
Its a win-win.
Never stop trying the recipe, adapt as life chapters change.
be grateful
Give up the ingredients that don’t belong in the recipe. (Your poison of choice HAS TO GO).
😍
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,205
IN for another sober weekend!
Thanks Mags!
After dozens of failures I finally realised that relying on willpower was not going to work. I was really low after that realisation because at the time I thought methods and planning were just twaddle to disguise the need for strong willpower and that I didn't have enough of it.
Desperation drove me to the approach of 'if I can't overcome the cravings head on then perhaps I can avoid them' and so I embarked on non-strenuous exercise and restoring an old car. Somewhat to my surprise it worked, the cravings were MUCH less intense and less frequent.
I suspect that what I was actually doing was far less important than the fact that I was doing something.
Closing in on seven years I no longer get cravings but as Marty (MLD 51) said it sometimes crosses my mind in a sort of 3rd party way, usually when someone is drinking on TV.
You can do it too, it's all in the mind.
Thanks Mags!
After dozens of failures I finally realised that relying on willpower was not going to work. I was really low after that realisation because at the time I thought methods and planning were just twaddle to disguise the need for strong willpower and that I didn't have enough of it.
Desperation drove me to the approach of 'if I can't overcome the cravings head on then perhaps I can avoid them' and so I embarked on non-strenuous exercise and restoring an old car. Somewhat to my surprise it worked, the cravings were MUCH less intense and less frequent.
I suspect that what I was actually doing was far less important than the fact that I was doing something.
Closing in on seven years I no longer get cravings but as Marty (MLD 51) said it sometimes crosses my mind in a sort of 3rd party way, usually when someone is drinking on TV.
You can do it too, it's all in the mind.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 782
Thanks Mags for the thread - I'm in!
A good, thought provoking post Free2bme. You are right that finding the right ingredients sometimes requires a bit of trial and error and often some back-tracking. Ultimately though we have to make a decision to 'put the plug in the jug' and abstain no matter what. Easier said than done and it took me years to get it right myself...
Hello everyone else. Kaily, I think your bear is rather nice. Why not keep him a little longer?
Best wishes to all, Forwards.
A good, thought provoking post Free2bme. You are right that finding the right ingredients sometimes requires a bit of trial and error and often some back-tracking. Ultimately though we have to make a decision to 'put the plug in the jug' and abstain no matter what. Easier said than done and it took me years to get it right myself...
Hello everyone else. Kaily, I think your bear is rather nice. Why not keep him a little longer?
Best wishes to all, Forwards.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: US
Posts: 16,909
Oh look at the cute bear! 
I hope you decide to keep him
Funny I saw this posted by Annie Grace, creator of "This Naked Mind" and "The Alcohol Experiment" ~ I was planning on sharing it before I saw the new theme of the Weekender Thread....how appropriate!
Cinderella Mocktail:
Club Soda
Grenadine
Lemon Juice
Orange Juice
Pineapple Juice
I may try one this weekend
I hope you decide to keep him Funny I saw this posted by Annie Grace, creator of "This Naked Mind" and "The Alcohol Experiment" ~ I was planning on sharing it before I saw the new theme of the Weekender Thread....how appropriate!
Cinderella Mocktail:
Club Soda
Grenadine
Lemon Juice
Orange Juice
Pineapple Juice
I may try one this weekend
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