drinking and partying , as in having fun
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Maybe stay away from parties and people which are only about drinking, at least for a few months?
It gets easier, but I had to be certain 100% I didn't want to drink and that I had answers for the drink-pushers and an exit strategy.
Welcome to the site.
You absolutely can stop drinking. Keep reading and I hope you'll keep posting.
It gets easier, but I had to be certain 100% I didn't want to drink and that I had answers for the drink-pushers and an exit strategy.
Welcome to the site.
You absolutely can stop drinking. Keep reading and I hope you'll keep posting.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,428
11 weeks is great! Take the experience you gained in those 11 weeks to figure out why you went back and fill in the holes with support and knowledge from this site. You can do it for sure. Welcome to SR.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 356
I know it can be hard. Once I stopped, I realized how often drinks are offered at events. And I realized how bad my behavior was. I could never stop once I started. The old saying goes "have 2 drinks and don't finish the second." That is true I think. Most people drink like that. But for me, two drinks was a warm up. If you want something to hold in your hand, try a coke or something that looks like a mixed drink. Nobody will know any different and they won't care. They will care if you get drunk and make a fool out of yourself. Which is what I would do. Best wishes in your recovery.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,293
It's great you managed 11 weeks. That's not easy. wondering how you felt during those 11 weeks. Did you feel mentally and physically better? My guess you did. Why did you go back to drinking? Don't know how old you are, but when I was much younger, the only thing I looked forward to was partying. But there is a price to pay for that kind of lifestyle. When I was going to AA meetings, I was surprised at the number of young people there. They realized early on that their drinking was causing them problems. I wished I did that when I was their age. Can't drink and party forever. Your drinking will eventually catch up on you. No way around it but to quit drinking. Wishing you well. John
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,527
Welcome!
It is hard but I think recovery is based on making a lot of changes in your life to support your recovery. You can find new and different ways to have fun that are not based on alcohol. Open yourself to making the changes that you will need to make to find long-term sobriety. 11 weeks is great, and I know you can do that again, and beyond.
It is hard but I think recovery is based on making a lot of changes in your life to support your recovery. You can find new and different ways to have fun that are not based on alcohol. Open yourself to making the changes that you will need to make to find long-term sobriety. 11 weeks is great, and I know you can do that again, and beyond.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome sobersport. I clearly remember how impossible it seemed that I might do anything without drinking. Not just parties, really anything. If I was not sleeping or at work, I always had a beer in my hand or nearby. Mowing the lawn, cleaning the house, fishing, whatever - for me alcohol was an integral part of everything.
The good news is that you can absolutely change that and indeed enjoy your life without alcohol. It's hard at first, but once you start doing it you realize that drinking puts limits on everything, not the opposite that we imagine. The hard part is making the change and accepting the facts associated with addiction. You will likely need to re-think how you go about your daily life and make major changes - who you hang out with, where you do it, and when. Not that you cannot continue to be social, but hanging out in bars is not something I make a habit of anymore as an example. Certainly I eat at restaurants that serve alcohol, but I don't go to places where the sole reason to be there is to drink alcohol.
11 weeks is a great stretch, I think belonging to a support community will give you the tools you need to go far.
The good news is that you can absolutely change that and indeed enjoy your life without alcohol. It's hard at first, but once you start doing it you realize that drinking puts limits on everything, not the opposite that we imagine. The hard part is making the change and accepting the facts associated with addiction. You will likely need to re-think how you go about your daily life and make major changes - who you hang out with, where you do it, and when. Not that you cannot continue to be social, but hanging out in bars is not something I make a habit of anymore as an example. Certainly I eat at restaurants that serve alcohol, but I don't go to places where the sole reason to be there is to drink alcohol.
11 weeks is a great stretch, I think belonging to a support community will give you the tools you need to go far.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2021
Location: London
Posts: 333
I can relate i spent years on that roundabout. I could only last so long. I had to have a good look at what i thought i was getting from drinking and what it was i had to change in my personal life in order to stay sober. I can't believe i spent so long without realising that! I got a support group too, AA in my case which helped muchly in the early months.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,585
Sobersport - It's so good to have you here with us. I hope you'll keep reading & posting.
I felt the same most of my life - how could anything be fun without drinking? Life would be boring & sad. So I kept going with it - trying to manage the amounts I drank even when I knew I was in the danger zone. Because I lacked the ability to stop, I became completely dependent on it in the end. I drank all day - and it was no longer fun - it was a necessity. We never need to reach that point. I'm glad you're taking a look at what it's doing to your life. You can get free.
I felt the same most of my life - how could anything be fun without drinking? Life would be boring & sad. So I kept going with it - trying to manage the amounts I drank even when I knew I was in the danger zone. Because I lacked the ability to stop, I became completely dependent on it in the end. I drank all day - and it was no longer fun - it was a necessity. We never need to reach that point. I'm glad you're taking a look at what it's doing to your life. You can get free.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,426
Sobersport, if you want to see some drinking, hang out with some of my friends, LOL. Once I decided that I was done with it, I did manage my time around my drinking friends at first, which was a million times easier that all those thousands of failed attempts at managing my drinking. After a few months, being around people drinking was not an issue. When I hang around them now, it's a bit comical, but mostly just brings disappointment in myself that I was that person for so long.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,477
Hi Sobersport
Welcome aboard - there’s been some great advice here already
I found it hard too. All my ideas about fun revolved around drinking, all of my friends drank and partied with alcohol.
But they could stop and go home, I went home but I didn’t stop.
By the end of my drinking years, I rarely socialised, because it got in the way of my drinking. I preferred to drink, and write myself off, alone.
As miserable as my drinking made me, I thought not drinking would be worse…no fun, no social life no joy.
As it turns out I couldn’t have been more wrong.
I stopped drinking and remembered how to have fun without alcohol. I began to gravitate towards people who felt the same way - people who didn’t need to get wasted to have a good time.
My social life is better than it ever was, and I’m happy healthy and content. It was a massive change - but there’s no regrets from me in making it
D
Welcome aboard - there’s been some great advice here already
I found it hard too. All my ideas about fun revolved around drinking, all of my friends drank and partied with alcohol.
But they could stop and go home, I went home but I didn’t stop.
By the end of my drinking years, I rarely socialised, because it got in the way of my drinking. I preferred to drink, and write myself off, alone.
As miserable as my drinking made me, I thought not drinking would be worse…no fun, no social life no joy.
As it turns out I couldn’t have been more wrong.
I stopped drinking and remembered how to have fun without alcohol. I began to gravitate towards people who felt the same way - people who didn’t need to get wasted to have a good time.
My social life is better than it ever was, and I’m happy healthy and content. It was a massive change - but there’s no regrets from me in making it
D
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,797
I don't drink and I don't 'party' but I consider my life enjoyable. You can stop drinking and live a rich full life but you must want to be sober more than you want to drink. Not easy, but simple.
You can stop drinking and live a rich full life but you must want to be sober more than you want to drink. Not easy, but simple. Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,477
I'm an Australian so I get the culture.
When I was a drinker all I saw was drinkers...when I quit I noticed a lot of other people who didn't drink either.
Was it a massive change from my old life - sure...A lot of people I considered friends drifted away when I stopped drinking - but I'd be dead if I had continued drinking.
Anyone can define themselves as a drinker but it takes commitment and courage to define yourself as something different to the herd.
My sober life is awesome - I'm authentically me, my friendships are not based on a shared addiction, and I have a lot of fun.
I have never felt like I missed out on the deal
D
When I was a drinker all I saw was drinkers...when I quit I noticed a lot of other people who didn't drink either.
Was it a massive change from my old life - sure...A lot of people I considered friends drifted away when I stopped drinking - but I'd be dead if I had continued drinking.
Anyone can define themselves as a drinker but it takes commitment and courage to define yourself as something different to the herd.
My sober life is awesome - I'm authentically me, my friendships are not based on a shared addiction, and I have a lot of fun.
I have never felt like I missed out on the deal
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 173
Originally Posted by Dee74 
I'm an Australian so I get the culture.
When I was a drinker all I saw was drinkers...when I quit I noticed a lot of other people who didn't drink either.
D
When I was a drinker all I saw was drinkers...when I quit I noticed a lot of other people who didn't drink either.
D
it’s why things like affirmations and practising gratitude are so powerful.
video below explains it a lot better than I can😂
https://youtu.be/B3fiyEBP9cQ
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