Sobersport - It's so good to have you here with us. I hope you'll keep reading & posting.
I felt the same most of my life - how could anything be fun without drinking? Life would be boring & sad. So I kept going with it - trying to manage the amounts I drank even when I knew I was in the danger zone. Because I lacked the ability to stop, I became completely dependent on it in the end. I drank all day - and it was no longer fun - it was a necessity. We never need to reach that point. I'm glad you're taking a look at what it's doing to your life. You can get free.