freedomfries

I don't want to drink right at this minute. But when the voices start again I'll wish I could drink. I'm glad I didn't drink yesterday. I suppose it's good I was on Antabuse.

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Steely

You just want the voices to go away. Drinking will work for maybe a tiny bit, but will kick back ten fold. Not worth it.

Have you been taught any techniques to override them?

freedomfries

No. Ativan helps. I don't have any at the moment but I collect my meds on Saturday. Went through this week's supply too fast.

Bekindalways

Just checking in on you FF. I get the wanting to drink but being glad I didn't drink yesterday.

Is anything helping at all right now?

Dee74

will you raise the Ativan thing with your Dr too FF?

D

freedomfries

I'm just relying on ativan to calm me down and waiting for the voices to go away.

freedomfries

My psychiatrist wants to see me in the next couple of weeks so I'll try to cover everything with him.

Dee74

edit - you edited
D

freedomfries

I have an appt with my GP today. Not about the voices. Just my general anxiety. But the voices make me incredibly anxious so it's all intertwined.

Dee74

If it was me I'd mention it, if its a factor.

D

freedomfries

Just back from the GP. He prescribed me prazepam. So that will help calm me down while I wait to see my psychiatrist.

Mizz

I does sound like there is a dependence on benzos. Those things are really intense for the system when used for long periods of time. The withdrawal from them can be really really hard to deal with. Are they helping you to achieve balance or are they creating more problems for you? Some of the side effects of Benzos include but are not limited to psychosis, hallucinations, irritability, suicidal thoughts.... The list of side effects is quite extensive.

I do understand there are things that have been helping you deal with your mental health. I just hope all the doctors know of what you are taking and they are all on the same page to help you get better. The doctors will be on the same page if you tell every single person that you see the same story.

freedomfries

I would rather be on lexapro or something for my anxiety but my psychiatrist doesn't want to prescribe it because I've had seizures. But I had an appt with the epilepsy clinic yesterday and they see no problem with me being on lexapro and they're sending a letter to my psychiatrist saying so. So maybe my psychiatrist will prescribe it at my next appointment. It would be a better long term solution.

Sober45

Hey FF. Glad to hear the clinic is writing a note. It’s really good too see there’s a connection being made between your healthcare providers. It’s good too that your asserting yourself in letting them know what your needs are.

I think the suggestion about finding strategies to deal with the voices is a good one.

These episodes don’t last , FF. They could go away at any moment and that is something to look forward to.

Sending peaceful vibes your way

freedomfries

Thanks Sober45

Steely

I withdrew from Valium 27 months ago Freedom and it was horrendous. Still not completely over it PAWS. I know your anxiety is high but please be aware of the potential of benzos. They can be viscious, brutal, no mercy.

freedomfries

I figure I'll only be on benzos for the next month. I want my psychiatrist to prescribe lexapro for my anxiety or something similar. He's reluctant because of my seizures. But I had an appt with the epilepsy clinic on Thursday and they're sending him a letter saying they're personally fine with it. So maybe he'll reconsider. I realize benzos aren't a long term solution.

Aside from medication, there's things I could be doing to help my anxiety like exercise, healthy eating, meditation and gentle exposure to things that make me anxious. There's also the option to go back to counselling which I'm considering.

freedomfries

Yesterday was a good day. I went for a walk, went down to collect my meds instead of asking my dad to, ate healthily, did some strength training, tidied my room a little, meditated. Small things to help my mental and physical health. It was a nice change from earlier in the week when I had been indulging my depression and anxiety. Hopefully I can keep the momentum going today.
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It's day 65. 37 days from 102 which will be my record. As long as I keep taking my Antabuse I'll make it.

freedomfries

Good morning. It's day 67. Taken my Antabuse.

I was speaking to my case nurse on Thursday and he says I'll see the psychiatrist next week or the week after. He's reluctant to prescribe another anti psychotic because of the seizures but with how things have been, maybe he'll consider it. He's also reluctant to prescribe lexapro for anxiety for the same reason but he now has a letter from the epilepsy clinic okaying it.
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The anxiety, depression and voices are all intertwined. I'm more often than not holed up in bed when the voices start and then I just want to hide under the covers. Perhaps if I had a more active life they wouldn't bother me so much. So today I'm going to try and keep busy. I'm making a to-do list:
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• Spend one hour on Duolingo
• Put a wash on, then hang it on the line
• Clean out drawers
• Do strength training routine
• Put clothes from hot press into drawers or wardrobe
• Do a yoga with adrienne video
• Go for 5km walk
• Watch Netflix episode
• Read 50 pages of a book

I'll feel like I've made something of my day when I'm finished the list.

I will say though, even if the voices do start again today, I am glad I'm on Antabuse. I need to be sober. Taking my Antabuse is the most important thing I do everyday.

Lpg

Congrats on day 67 FF, putting sobriety top of the list and the rest will follow. Have a great day.