adrunk42long

So I screwed up and put myself in a place on Sunday evening and drank! No excuses I just picked up a glass of wine and drank it and two more glasses! Then I bought a bottle of wine yesterday and drank it!
Needless to say I am pissed, ashamed, angry and I don't know what all else!
I don't know what is in store for me today! I feel like a complete and total failure!

ScottFromWI

Glad you came back - and hopefully you didn't buy anymore wine? Being upset is normal and understandable - you did indeed fail to meet your goal of not drinking, but that does not translate into you being a failure as a person. It was a mistake, yes - but a correctible mistake. You ask what is in store for you today - you can decide that actually. Perhaps you could look back and see what happened leading up to your decision to drink the glass...where did you go wrong in your plan for the day? Did you have a plan and not follow it? Do you need to change your plan? Those are all questions you could investigate and answer for yourself, and you can still make today a sober day too. Learn and improve...and move forward.

freedomfries

Don't beat yourself up. You're not a complete failure. You just made a mistake. Alcohol is highly addictive - it's hard to recover. The main thing is you're not drinking now and you reached out to SR for support.

doggonecarl

Your last post was about how you had run out of the strength you felt you needed to stay sober. Hope you have enough to find day one.

fishkiller

You can never fail until you quit trying.
Dont give up.. You can do it.

uncle holmes

Keep coming back! You’ve got this! Roll up your sleeves and make another attempt at recovery! It’s worth the risk!

Anna

What place did you put yourself in? I'm asking because you can learn to avoid a similar situation again. It's hard early on, but use this as a learning experience. You have felt good while being sober, so focus on that and continue working on your recovery.

Steely

Fairly typical to relapse at 34 days, at least it was for me, and many here. We are learning. It's disappointing, know. More than disappointing, devastating, actually.

Hope you made it back to Day 1 and will continue posting here to get the support and encouragement you need for the journey ahead. It's a good road to travel.

Dee74

I’m glad you made it back AD42L

You’re not a failure man - but if you look back on your posts you’ll see you really talked yourself into this drink.

Your inner addict spun the line that you felt uneasy and exhausted sober, and then gently planted the idea that you’d always feel that way sober.

That kind of fear breaks people down, and unless you have a rock solid action plan of things to do when you feel that fear, you run the risk of defaulting to the norm and drinking again

there will be tough days getting sober and staying that way - its inevitable just as there are tough days in life.

No one likes feeling uncomfortable, but we have to find the faith to believe that things will get better again, without us drinking.

You’ve proven you can go a month sober - that’s a good thing. No failure there

I often use the analogy of a rocket taking off.

You’ve left the surface of Planet Addiction... now you need to work out how to completely escape its gravitational pull...

Maybe you need some more tools to deal with discomfort and the whisperings that a drink is your only solution or that getting drunk is your only option?

Hopefully the memory of this drink will stay with you and convince you next time you feel this way that drinking is not one of those options, man

find more tools

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ml#post5314914 (Recovery Programs & What to Expect (What We Did))

you can do this!

anxiousrock

But you're back... you can do it! You did 34 days, and you can do it again. Plus, now you know which situation to avoid.

least

I'm sorry that you drank but hope you can learn from this how to avoid making the same mistake again. I failed many times before I got sober for good. Keep trying til you get it.

OverthePanic

I'm glad your back!! I myself screwed up this week I know how your feeling 🌻🌼🌺

Steely

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dBN86y30Ufc

Hope videos are still allowed. Not controversial ones that is.

Hevyn

It happened to me too. The last time, I was so disgusted with myself that it resulted in the end of my drinking career. That was 13 yrs. ago. Something good can come out of this disappointment. I wouldn't call it a failure because you didn't continue - you came back to tell what happened. Obviously, you didn't enjoy the experience - further proof that it brings nothing but misery. You're going to be more determined now, AD.

advbike

I hope you don't buy more. No need to feel ashamed or bad about it, just learn from it as others suggest. If you get right back to your sober program there will be no real damage from it. Just move forward again after a bump in the road. The worst part is when we slip, then keep drinking. That turns into a real shame-filled downward spiral.

You can do this man.

Mizz

All you can do is move forward.
I believe in you. I know you can get past this.
Just keep on going and keep learning.

Delilah1

I’m glad you came back and posted, I am going to echo what some others have said, all you can do is learn from what happened, move forward and make different choices the next time thoughts of drinking pop into your head.

What is something you can add to your recovery plan? What can you do to avoid whatever situation you put yourself in on Sunday?

Dee74

How are you doing ad42l?

D

Hevyn

Thinking of you, ad. We're here, no matter what's going on.

Scd619x

I must have done that and felt like that dozens of times in my life. Looking back now i feel sad that i felt the shame and guilt as they are worthless, destructive emotions. I only figured out that i got these feelings because of how i felt about drinking, my own belief system which was completely skewed! I never felt this with cigarettes though, which i eventually quit?! I had to focus on my reasons for wanting to stop drinking, not other peoples and i wrote them down as trying to quit because drinking is bad and shouldn't be done didn't work. Things like losing weight, or getting ripped, or saving money, or the like not because one day it might end up killing me in some vague way when i'm in my 70s!