Billymacintosh

Hi Vincent
I hope you are still around, there are many replies to this thread which you responded positively too, why would you respond so rashly to a post so well meant as I'm sure it was intended. For me that is AV talking.
I would have to agree that to pin a relapse after some considerable sobriety on watching a TV show needs some looking into, after all we are surrounded by images and examples of this on a day to day basis. I would suggest and I may be wrong, that there is more going on that you could look into and work through. I'm sure this would serve you far well in remaining sober.
life isn't easy and none of us would claim that it is, particularly when getting and remaining sober but we all want to see you succeed.
​​​I wish you well
love Billy x

GiftsOfSobriety

Unless someone is a certified addiction specialist it’s seems inappropriate and presumptuous to question the validity of Vincent’s experience. He’s posting with introspection and humility. The lack of sensitivity and subsequent gaslighting of a person is such a vulnerable place is really disturbing and disconcerting,

Aellyce

I got a great variety of posts and suggestions on the threads where I confessed drinking, too. I think a good approach is to read through all of them, consider them openly, then take and use the suggestions that make sense to you and seem compatible. Don't worry about the rest. I typically acknowledge everything and everyone, but focus and engage with what clicks with me best. Sometimes it's not so easy to pick them out of the variety, but listening to my own intuitions helps guide the focus. There are so many experiences and views about recovery, it's very personal, I think people usually just share what has worked for their situation, even if sometimes enthusiastically or as seemingly absolute truths. Just don't let interactions here become perceived triggers for drinking. I think there is one real good universal truth and advice here: don't drink

Billymacintosh

I think that the suggestion that gaslighting is occurring is, in itself is both disturbing and inappropriate.
None of us would claim to be experts, we have all been in the same position at one time.
Note the reference to how advice
'Might' be helpful
And the word 'helpful' in itself
Or just the advice that looking into other reasons might also be 'beneficial'
We have nothing for concern for Vincent
don't turn it into something it's not
love Billy x

Dee74

I'm really sorry you feel that way Vincent.
No condescension meant at all!

I was sharing my experience - that the things that used to trigger me don't trigger me anymore...that real change - lasting change - can happen.

My intent was to share a good news message, if you like - not to put you or anyone else down.
Why would I? I've been there too.

I went for a decade with barely 3 days as my sober 'record'. I have nothing to be superior about.

When I say if I did it you can too I really mean that. I was broken but I fixed myself - with help and support.
I'm not special and I really believe that you or anyone else who wants to, can do it as well..

I prefer to share about when I found recovery rather than my drinking days - and that's what I try to do.

It is sometimes difficult to distill a long journey/experience into a short, meaningful and helpful share.
My apologies if I phrased my response in a way that upset you.

I hope you decide to stick around

D

Dee74

GeezLouise. Is this meant for me GoS?

If so, I'm dumbfounded.

My only qualifications are my experience - experience of the way I used to think, how that thinking kept me drinking, and how I got out of that thinking.

I'm not better and no worse than anyone else here.
Although I'd rather my experience be helpful folks are free to reject that experience and disagree with me.

D

columbus

I think that this awareness/insight is very important and hopefully very powerful moving ahead.

EndGameNYC

Life is hard. Get used to it.

It’s abundantly clear that there was no harm intended. I don’t know why anyone would see it differently. We can read anything into whatever anyone else says or writes, but none of that is the responsibility of the person making the observation.

If we're insulted by other people's experience when that experience is offered as a measure of our own behavior, then what is there left to learn? No one here is interested in bursting anyone’s bubble. People who’ve tried eventually marginalized themselves and, surprise, disappeared.

With everything each of us has put ourselves through, and with what each of us has done to the rest of the world, we shouldn't have to ask someone in advance whether or not bringing up our own experience and the experience of who-knows-how-many-others here whether or not doing so is acceptable.

Certified or not (and I am), we’re here to provide support for many of the same things we’ve gone through ourselves. Offering an observation in the service of that support has nothing whatsoever to do with being inappropriate or presumptuous. None of us needed to go to school to learn what a craving feels like.

Feliz88

you will get tit keep trying

Vincent484

Hi everyone. I'm pretty much 100% back to normal. Got a good workout in, cleaned the house ect. This won't happen again. I'll make sure of it.

Also, lets please remember that when still in the withdrawal stages, we are all more vulnerable than usual. Our minds are still not fully "there", and still filled with anger and shame at what just happened. There is a time for tough love and bluntness for sure, but that is not the time for it.

Thanks for all the support

tornrealization

I'm so glad you are still with us Vincent and I'm happy to see you are feeling better and back to normal.

Billymacintosh

Glad to see you back Vincent 😃

advbike

How are you doing Vincent? Miss you man, hope all is well.

Vincent484

No booze but I've had zero motivation to do anything recently, which is very different than before I slipped. Also having trouble sleeping and occasional nightmares. Not sure what is going on.

advbike

It takes me a full two weeks now for things to get back to normal. Sleep, anxiety and the lethargic feeling big time. It's just crazy. Try to keep up on the exercise and healthy diet if you can, it helps the body heal.

Hang in there!

TroubleAfoot

Vincent I am glad you are getting through this tough time. I have never had a very long stint of sobriety but I am trying now. It is almost unfathomable how, when it seems like you are doing so well, something can happen and BAM you are drinking again. Once, after two months of sobriety, I was at a dinner party with friends. There were two others, besides me, who weren't drinking either, out of a group of about 10 of us. For some reason that night, even amongst my own close friends, I had an unusual anxiety creep up on me. I suddenly didn't feel like myself, I didn't feel social, I felt awkward. I wanted to drink so I could feel like myself again and be witty and funny and all that. However I resisted the urge and didn't drink. But I left the party, at the end of the night, went home and THEN I drank. I went home and drank alone. I had made it through the night, could have went to bed and chalked it up to a bad evening but there you go. It happened. I was really down on myself about it.
It sounds like you got this. Keep coming back. I only just joined, yesterday, and am already finding everyone here to be tremendously helpful.

Anna

Vincent, it might take some time and patience to start feeling good again. I know for me, every relapse hit me harder than the last. But, you'll get there.

TroubleAfoot, I did the same thing. I went to a neighborhood party and got through the evening there, though I felt miserable. I went home and first thing the next morning I went out to buy alcohol.

Scd619x

Done it and felt it dozens and dozens of times in my life. It never occurred to me until my late 40s to try and understand why i wanted to stop drinking and why i hated myself so much after i had drunk.

Steely

I've always found it amazing that the drinkers in tv shows manage to drink throughout the day without any adverse effects. Look what happened to Charlie Sheen in real life. Look behind the scenes.

I'm really glad you are back Vincent.

Vincent484

Still sober. Hasn't been an issue although it did cross my mind to stop into a bar yesterday. The grocery store I go to is right by all the popular bars and everything was packed. That thought quickly left though.

My work team is doing a big get together in a few weeks. Not sure what I am going to do about that yet.