ScottFromWI

Finding out what happened is important. There are generally multiple events and choices we make leading up to the actual decision to drink.

Look back and see if you can find clues - not with the purpose of shaming or blaming, but so you can recognize the pattern and prevent it from happening again. For example, it doesn't look like you had been posting here for several days until your post last night - what happended there? Are there other parts of your plan that you were also neglecting by chance?

In any case, learn from it and adjust your plan as needed.

Anna

I agree it's important to try to figure out what happened. This can be a learning experience and a chance to move forward.

Steely

You ok Vincent?

Vincent484

Sorry everyone but slowly getting better. I missed a few days of work and I don't know what to say when they ask "I took sick days". My job requires me to use my head/analyze numbers so i'm think of saying I get terrible migraines so often. They can't officially ask but of course they are going to want to know.

Hevyn

Glad to see you posting & it's good you're feeling better. This can be the last time you go through this.

Vincent484

What do you guys say for the work thing? It's been on my mind

advbike

So glad you're back Vincent. My friend occasionally gets debilitating migraines, he thinks from allergies.

I still suggest figuring out what the thought process was that led up to your relapse, so you can be aware next time.

Glad you're back in one piece.

Vincent484

I think it was a a combination of a few little things more than any one big one.

Aellyce

I'm also glad you are back. If I understand correctly, you are worried about what specific sickness to bring up if they ask what exactly was going on? I don't know if migraines usually last days on debilitating levels... Also, I may be wrong, but "getting terrible migraines" almost sounds like you want to use this excuse repeatedly? Please don't go down that road, I was a chronic liar to cover up my drinking and it didn't do much good to help me get out of the real problem, more the opposite, because people bought my lies and excuses, or sometimes just had no other choice. But if you have to make up something, maybe use a one-time event such as a bad stomach bug - something systemic like that can also knock people out for days, including cognitively and energy-wise. Just make sure to say something that won't make them ask for a doctor's note.

Most importantly, I hope you feel better from the relapse and can use it as a learning experience, to prevent it in the future. I changed my recovery approach quite dramatically after my recent relapse and the new one is actually much easier for me, also more satisfying. You were actually one of the people giving me great advice

Vincent484

Yeah I only call in three days, so really only two in a row. I think one of my main triggers is who I look up to and admire, most fictional characters. Once the wrong one slide in my alcoholism is romanticism like it is on TV show.

Aellyce

Fantasy was also a big part of my escapism and trigger combinations in the past. I just had to completely cut it off and stop allowing myself to engage (I even pulled other real people into it with me). It was addictive on its own, and often took place together with my binges. It had to let it go completely, much like dealing with the drinking urges directly.

Vincent484

Yeah i think that's my main one as well. When I have good male role models, even fictional. I seem to be fine. Watching show or movies with glorified drinking changes my perception of it, which is ridiculous, but it doesnt

Aellyce

Maybe you could turn yourself into your own role model, and then live in your real dream, sober?

Anna

Vincent, I'm glad you're back. You won't have to worry about what to say at work if you stay sober, and you can do it.

Vincent484

We're all doomed

Vincent484

That's my biggest worry if I don't get another chance. I do think I can do it but not if I don't have work.

Vincent484

It's not up to me but it will be easier.

tornrealization

Honestly you can just tell them you had a personal medical issue to attend to. It's true. They don't need to know which one and yes I've had a migraine that's lasted two days. Usually in my eye socket and overall into my entire head. Now I haven't had those in years. Unless they are looking for violating HiPPA (are you in the states?) your medical problems don't need to be detailed in depth to your employer. If your sick days are PTO days (combined any reason sick/vacation days) you can just say you need personal PTO. Most people won't care much after maybe some mild jibbing in the ribs. I don't know your work environment. After drinking - anxiety is going to run high and probably make things seem worse than they actually are.

I've really enjoyed your posts over the year. Sort of Zen, minimalist and different thinking. So you have already have been an inspiration. So hang in there - you haven't lost everything. Wishing you all the best.

Vincent484

They will probably ask and moved on. I'm just scared they already know because I do.

Vincent484

My old job was really, really bad with rumors' and gossip too. When I was actually sick, I got constant **** for being drunk, even when I wasn't.