new this was coming
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Originally Posted by silentrun 
The same voice that creeps up on you and gets you to use is the same voice that calls you an idiot when you do.
Strange isn't it? You'd never get on these forums and call someone else an idiot for a relapse, but you'd do it to yourself 3 times in one post.
Not only would you show a stranger more respect, but you also know it would be ineffective to call them cruel names. It might even send them back to the bottle.
Treat that guy in the mirror with the same respect you'd show a stranger in a forum.
He is worth it.
Who knows what may come of it?
Rootin' for ya!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2020
Location: Near the mountains
Posts: 1,542
Originally Posted by 2muchpain
Always trying to prove to others' that I am worthy of the position. I'm really good at beating up on myself. I even do that at the gym. Never enough.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
John
drinking at 8 o clock in the morning is only going to increase that negative self voice and ultimately make you feel worse.
Get rid of all the alcohol in your house - pour it out. See a Dr if you're worried about withdrawal.
If you are looking for other paths than AA then it's never been easier than now - find a cyber meeting and sit yourself down.
I don't think you really need a list of other programmes to start you off but here it is anyway,.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...formation.html (Recovery Programs and Resources Information)
Be the change you want in the world right?
Stop drinking, John. Give yourself the gift of a day one.
D
drinking at 8 o clock in the morning is only going to increase that negative self voice and ultimately make you feel worse.
Get rid of all the alcohol in your house - pour it out. See a Dr if you're worried about withdrawal.
If you are looking for other paths than AA then it's never been easier than now - find a cyber meeting and sit yourself down.
I don't think you really need a list of other programmes to start you off but here it is anyway,.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...formation.html (Recovery Programs and Resources Information)
Be the change you want in the world right?
Stop drinking, John. Give yourself the gift of a day one.
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
Originally Posted by silentrun
The same voice that creeps up on you and gets you to use is the same voice that calls you an idiot when you do. They are literally the same dude and they are not you.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Arizona, USA
Posts: 1,598
I tried and quit AA many times. The door remains open. Takes some humility to admit that maybe I was part of the problem and not the program.
BUT, outside of that, I think you should be encouraged that while drinking you decide to come to the SR boards. It reminds me of spiritual growth. Where after some time of trying to connect with a higher power (in my case God, who or whatever that is), I sometimes ask myself, am I really doing God's will? Or wondering what God's will really is. I know I'm growing spiritually not because I ever know what God's will is, but because I am trying to do it. And you, while you have not been able to quit drinking. Even when drinking you are acknowledging that it is not working for you. And you are trying to find a way out. Probably 20 years ago when drinking you weren't really giving quitting serious thought. Today you are. Have you achieved your goal? No. Are you closer today to putting the bottle down? Objectively, I would say yes.
Good luck my friend. Sobriety is HARD. Feeling feelings and not running from them is HARD. I struggle with it all the time. But isn't it better than drinking to feel better but still being miserable? I bet you and I agree on the answer to that.
BUT, outside of that, I think you should be encouraged that while drinking you decide to come to the SR boards. It reminds me of spiritual growth. Where after some time of trying to connect with a higher power (in my case God, who or whatever that is), I sometimes ask myself, am I really doing God's will? Or wondering what God's will really is. I know I'm growing spiritually not because I ever know what God's will is, but because I am trying to do it. And you, while you have not been able to quit drinking. Even when drinking you are acknowledging that it is not working for you. And you are trying to find a way out. Probably 20 years ago when drinking you weren't really giving quitting serious thought. Today you are. Have you achieved your goal? No. Are you closer today to putting the bottle down? Objectively, I would say yes.
Good luck my friend. Sobriety is HARD. Feeling feelings and not running from them is HARD. I struggle with it all the time. But isn't it better than drinking to feel better but still being miserable? I bet you and I agree on the answer to that.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,654
How are you today, John? I believe that you are worthy, and that you will stop drinking again. I also believe you're a good teacher, with a lot to offer. If alcohol affects you as it does me, then alcohol removes the real John. Please come back, John.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
I hope you can quit today John. Everyday this goes on is worse for you and harder to get back to recovery.
You're obviously putting some effort into staying drunk - time to syphon that effort dedication and stubbornness to help you stop.
D
You're obviously putting some effort into staying drunk - time to syphon that effort dedication and stubbornness to help you stop.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,293
Originally Posted by Dee74
I hope you can quit today John. Everyday this goes on is worse for you and harder to get back to recovery.
You're obviously putting some effort into staying drunk - time to syphon that effort dedication and stubbornness to help you stop.
D
You're obviously putting some effort into staying drunk - time to syphon that effort dedication and stubbornness to help you stop.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,293
I'm doing much better today. The last three days have been terrible. I checked my calendar today and noticed I didn't go to the gym at all last week, meaning I drank that entire week. I found four or five empty 12 and one 18 pack beer boxes. Couldn't believe it. Don't remember all that beer. I mixed the beer with liquor and started drinking in the morning. I knew I was in trouble but by then it was to late. Haven't gone on a week long binge in a long time. Only thought is was three or four days. It's no wonder it's taking me a long time to recover. Halucinated (sp) a lot over the weekend. Couldn't sleep for days, even with sleep meds. Right now just trying to get back to my normal routine. Been to the gym the last two days and can tell I lost a lot. Will take time. I really beat myself up. Still drinking few beers a day cause I'm afraid of the withdrawals but see myself quitting entirely very soon. Thanks for thinking of me. Really don't understand why you do, but it helps. John
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