Hey guys
Here and now
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Toronto
Posts: 334
Hey guys
In a very rough place, I had a binge over the weekend after doing well. Today is day 2 and my brother committed suicide this morning. I am not going to drink and am having a hard time proccessing this. I need some support.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: South Africa
Posts: 1,536
Hi Ekohe, I’m very sorry to hear that. I have never lost anyone that close to me, so I don’t really know what to say other than that my thoughts are with you. Staying sober can only help you to get through this in the best way possible.
I'm so sorry for your loss, sending you lots of love and strenght.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2020
Location: I'm sitting right here ...
Posts: 918
Being in shock is a strange sensation. That's where I went when my uncle killed himself. We were pretty close.
You wrote "I had a binge over the weekend after doing well." and that you're two days sober today. If you put yourself into a binge AFTER doing well - now is the time to be especially aware of the beverages you reach for. At some point - you will come out of shock.
Don't let your guard down.
Best.
You wrote "I had a binge over the weekend after doing well." and that you're two days sober today. If you put yourself into a binge AFTER doing well - now is the time to be especially aware of the beverages you reach for. At some point - you will come out of shock.
Don't let your guard down.
Best.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,576
That is terrible news, Ekohe. I'll send up prayers for your brother & your family.
As you already know, drinking does nothing but create temporary numbness & then it backfires on us. It can't be a way of dealing with tragedy or anything else.
I'm glad you wanted to talk about what's going on. Please don't pick up.
As you already know, drinking does nothing but create temporary numbness & then it backfires on us. It can't be a way of dealing with tragedy or anything else.
I'm glad you wanted to talk about what's going on. Please don't pick up.
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,967
You have my deepest condolences. Try to stay with people, try to eat and try to sleep. Grief, for me, is it's own entity.
Feel sad, cry, finish and try to let it go. Remember happy times with your brother and smile, then face the world, you have a new angel on your shoulder. If you are a member of AA, stick with others there.
So sorry for your loss
~SB
Feel sad, cry, finish and try to let it go. Remember happy times with your brother and smile, then face the world, you have a new angel on your shoulder. If you are a member of AA, stick with others there.
So sorry for your loss
~SB
Here and now
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Toronto
Posts: 334
Thank you all for the messages, I have lots of friends and family and am very grateful. I am going to remain sober, I know it would only make things unimaginably harder. This is a big wake up call for me.
I am feeling numb/shocked and a bit confused with moments of very low sadness. I know everyone's grief plays out differently but if anyone had some suggestions I would love to hear them. I plan on taking up the guitar and drawing, and going to grief counseling.
I am feeling numb/shocked and a bit confused with moments of very low sadness. I know everyone's grief plays out differently but if anyone had some suggestions I would love to hear them. I plan on taking up the guitar and drawing, and going to grief counseling.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
I’m so very sorry for your loss. Do you have a therapist or counselling or at least good friends to talk to?
There may be some help or some tools available here too:
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.or...oss-survivors/
Above all, please do not drink Ekohe. Use the support here instead. Don’t compound this tragedy by starting another by drinking.
You’re not alone
D
There may be some help or some tools available here too:
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.or...oss-survivors/
Above all, please do not drink Ekohe. Use the support here instead. Don’t compound this tragedy by starting another by drinking.
You’re not alone
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
I don't know what to say Ekohe. I'll just say that we here will try to help you through your tragedy any way we can. A fellow Torontonian here anytime you just need a few words of support. I am sure it will take some time to process things.
My mother died suddenly 2 years ago. I went on a month long drinking binge. That was not the right way to deal with grief. By the time I sobered up the grief was still there waiting for me. I just delayed it.
My mother died suddenly 2 years ago. I went on a month long drinking binge. That was not the right way to deal with grief. By the time I sobered up the grief was still there waiting for me. I just delayed it.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Warwick RI
Posts: 1,276
OH WTF! This is because he was afraid to go to jail 
? Is he older or younger than you?
I am so so sorry and I can't imagine being on Day 2 and having that kind of news.
My sister died unexpectedly when I was in the middle of a binge and I had to force myself to stop or I would not have made it to her wake/funeral.....I remember I was 2 days sober at her wake...I was so sick....
I hope you feel better soon and I think you will be better able to process the loss and better able to be available to mourn with other members in your family.
? Is he older or younger than you? I am so so sorry and I can't imagine being on Day 2 and having that kind of news.
My sister died unexpectedly when I was in the middle of a binge and I had to force myself to stop or I would not have made it to her wake/funeral.....I remember I was 2 days sober at her wake...I was so sick....
I hope you feel better soon and I think you will be better able to process the loss and better able to be available to mourn with other members in your family.
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