I Want To Stop, Again So, So Bad
I Want To Stop, Again So, So Bad
Hello everyone. I haven't posted in several months. Last June I was scared straight due to some abnormal blood test that showed I was having liver problems. I joined SR then and stayed sober for two months. I can't even begin to tell you how much you all helped me! That was the longest stretch for me in my couple decades of drinking. Long story short my condition improved and slowly but surely I let my guard down just to have a couple drinks now and then to what we all know eventually happens full fledged drinking like it's going out of style. So here I am again approximately one year later, blacked out Friday and Saturday night. I know i need to stop. I want to stop. I have the best wife in the world who is so supportive and encouraging to me. I am going to do it this time for good...I hope. I'm determined. Day 3 here. Please wish me luck! I look forward to hanging around the forum, contributing and sharing updates. You all are so helpful!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2020
Location: I'm sitting right here ...
Posts: 918
Hi there. I have to say - what you wrote above looks really good. However, you left room for the word hope and hope implies wishful thinking. Sobriety will never be yours unless you simply TAKE IT. OWN IT. MAKE IT PART OF YOU LIKE YOUR LIVER IS. That's the kind of attitude that'll have you clomping around the planet knowing that you don't drink alcohol anymore. Until that happens, you don't know it - you only practice it.
Do folk with years and years of abstinence relapse? Yeah. But you and I don't have to. No one does. It's always a choice to reach for a drink.
Do folk with years and years of abstinence relapse? Yeah. But you and I don't have to. No one does. It's always a choice to reach for a drink.
Thank you very much for the warm welcome Anna!. In all honesty I really don't have a plan other than just stopping. I don't want to drink anymore I do know that for sure. But I've said that countless times. It feels real this time though and I'm determined for my last drink ever to have been on this past Monday evening the 17th. I still have booze in the house and some beers. I guess a good start would be to remove it from my home, throw it all in the trash.
Absolutely dump the booze!
Is it gone yet?
I'm glad you're back and going to do this. Imagine how you will feel at 4 months, knowing how well you felt at 2. It's indescribably better.
I think something to really pay attention to now is how you are feeling. Not obsess over it, but kind of keep an eye on it. You're going to experience triggers, right? Do you know what they are? I didn't, but when I took drinking off the table for good, I learned. Better yet, I learned how to deal with them and that a craving sucks but I don't have to fight it. I can just sort of shrug my shoulders about the craving and then move on to more interesting things like what's really bugging me and how to grow beyond that.
If you are even in the least bit receptive to AA, know that you can find online meetings by simply Googling AA in your area (or any area!). It's terribly convenient - terrible in that there's no excuse to at least sit in on some and see what you think.
O
Is it gone yet?
I'm glad you're back and going to do this. Imagine how you will feel at 4 months, knowing how well you felt at 2. It's indescribably better.
I think something to really pay attention to now is how you are feeling. Not obsess over it, but kind of keep an eye on it. You're going to experience triggers, right? Do you know what they are? I didn't, but when I took drinking off the table for good, I learned. Better yet, I learned how to deal with them and that a craving sucks but I don't have to fight it. I can just sort of shrug my shoulders about the craving and then move on to more interesting things like what's really bugging me and how to grow beyond that.
If you are even in the least bit receptive to AA, know that you can find online meetings by simply Googling AA in your area (or any area!). It's terribly convenient - terrible in that there's no excuse to at least sit in on some and see what you think.
O
I used to think I was having my cake and eating it too. I had a good life and I was drinking whenever I wanted.
I learned, fortunately not a super hard way, that anything I did to drink was simply an addict trying to get a fix. Just like a cocaine or meth addict.
Getting past each trigger for that last several years was hell on earth.
The only way out was suffering and time. Triggers are everywhere all the time. I drank for every occasion.
Suffering and time.
Thanks.
I learned, fortunately not a super hard way, that anything I did to drink was simply an addict trying to get a fix. Just like a cocaine or meth addict.
Getting past each trigger for that last several years was hell on earth.
The only way out was suffering and time. Triggers are everywhere all the time. I drank for every occasion.
Suffering and time.
Thanks.
Glad you came back Denny. If you do something, some activity such as walking, DIY anything like that during your peak craving hours, that really helps. I'm sure if you can get to two months you will not let your guard down again.
Definitely tip the booze away that will be one less thing on your mind. Good luck!
Definitely tip the booze away that will be one less thing on your mind. Good luck!
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2019
Location: here & there
Posts: 268
Hello Danny,
This is an invitation to join us in the August class.
This is a group of people who are at the same stage of early sober as you supporting each other through the early days of this adventure.
It might be a good first step if your current plans are a bit thin?
Hope to see you around over there.
This is an invitation to join us in the August class.
This is a group of people who are at the same stage of early sober as you supporting each other through the early days of this adventure.
It might be a good first step if your current plans are a bit thin?
Hope to see you around over there.
Welcome back Denny
At least read about a plan - it might give you some ideas. In my experience it's people who have a plan who make it into long term permanent recovery..
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ery-plans.html (Psst...wanna know why I'm always recommending recovery plans?)
D
At least read about a plan - it might give you some ideas. In my experience it's people who have a plan who make it into long term permanent recovery..
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ery-plans.html (Psst...wanna know why I'm always recommending recovery plans?)
D
Absolutely dump the booze!
Is it gone yet?
I'm glad you're back and going to do this. Imagine how you will feel at 4 months, knowing how well you felt at 2. It's indescribably better.
I think something to really pay attention to now is how you are feeling. Not obsess over it, but kind of keep an eye on it. You're going to experience triggers, right? Do you know what they are? I didn't, but when I took drinking off the table for good, I learned. Better yet, I learned how to deal with them and that a craving sucks but I don't have to fight it. I can just sort of shrug my shoulders about the craving and then move on to more interesting things like what's really bugging me and how to grow beyond that.
If you are even in the least bit receptive to AA, know that you can find online meetings by simply Googling AA in your area (or any area!). It's terribly convenient - terrible in that there's no excuse to at least sit in on some and see what you think.
O
Is it gone yet?
I'm glad you're back and going to do this. Imagine how you will feel at 4 months, knowing how well you felt at 2. It's indescribably better.
I think something to really pay attention to now is how you are feeling. Not obsess over it, but kind of keep an eye on it. You're going to experience triggers, right? Do you know what they are? I didn't, but when I took drinking off the table for good, I learned. Better yet, I learned how to deal with them and that a craving sucks but I don't have to fight it. I can just sort of shrug my shoulders about the craving and then move on to more interesting things like what's really bugging me and how to grow beyond that.
If you are even in the least bit receptive to AA, know that you can find online meetings by simply Googling AA in your area (or any area!). It's terribly convenient - terrible in that there's no excuse to at least sit in on some and see what you think.
O
I've never did the AA meetings but I will take your advice and search for online meetings and sit in on them to see what they are all about.
Yep still here buddy. Glad you made it through a tough day. Last couple days have been tough for me as well with the hurricanes in the Gulf. Traditionally hurricanes have always been a major reason to drink till we are drunk as a skunk. You are typically off of work and the infamous hurricane party is a real thing in south Louisiana. Yesterday me and my wife were walking and I mentioned to her that at 10:00 pm it would make a week since my last drink. She say's well i thought your last drink was Monday night the 17th?? Well long story short and probably meaningless to most I was off of work on Monday so yesterday being Tuesday felt like a Monday to me. I actually was one day further into my sobriety than I even realized. I was like YES!! One week down and forever to go is the plan. Day 9 and feeling good. I've been cycling 5 miles in morning and walking 3 miles in the afternoon. Eating a good healthy assortment of food/snacks and lowered my calorie intake. I have dropped 10 pounds in a week. Keep it up brother!
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