Be123

Hooray! Hi BABM - I am not a religious person but Luke 15v7 comes to mind...

As you open up on day three I wonder if you could try an experiment to see what you can do to improve the anxiety? It may be nothing and you have to tough it out...it may be that by doing stuff you can improve how you feel? I suspect the latter but am willing to be proven wrong

Porridge for breakfast...exercise...mindfulness...exercise...ea ting well...exercise...not watching the news...watching crap on youtube/netflix...exercise...oh and SLEEP whenever you feel like it.

Well done BABM, days1-7 are THE WORST and you are 2/7 of the way through. 29%, if you will...

Hevyn

Well, that is great news. Everything looks bleak when we're in a fog. Now you can begin to rise up out of this miserable time.

Dee74

How goes it BABM?

D

BeABetterMan

Hi Dee. It goes well. Kids are here so everything feels right. Had a fun and meaningful day like always. Not suffering too many withdrawal symptoms on this day three. Why is it so easy when I have the kids?? I just don’t want to let them down I guess. It’s so easy to let myself down.

Dee74

I'm glad the kids are there.

I dunno about you but I had to learn to treat myself like someone I cared about.

Its like that thing - be the man your dog thinks you are - be the Dad your kids know you as.

Wasn't easy to make that switch to caring about myself but I think it's crucial to lasting success.

D

Be123

How's the anxiety on a scale of 1-10 BABM?

Day 3, your half way through the worst of the physical side at least!! Keep going today mate, kids are there you can do it

BeABetterMan

Good morning friend. Anxiety is better. I stopped taking the med my doc prescribed which has helped, I’ve abstained from alcohol which has helped and no more big meals late at night. I need to cut back on food in general.

test will come when the kids are gone. That’s when the isolation sets in and life gets more challenging.

Surrendered19

Hi BABM. Give a thought to how your time with the kids would be different if you were sober and healthy leading up to it. Anticipating and savoring the coming time with them. Right now I'm sure it is very meaningful and great to be with them and it is clearly so good for them to be with you. But you are still in a wounded toxic state actively trying to detox. That must really change the quality of time you have with the kids. From now on, you can properly plan their visits, do some cleaning and cooking ahead of time, plan some crafts or activities for home time, plan some hikes with their furry siblings. When I was drunk I didn't do any of those things for my kids. They would come to a dirty house and a dirty dad and I would be largely absent albeit physically present. Those years had a terrible effect on them. They're kids but like the little animals that they are, they instinctively know when they are safe and when they are not. They only feel safe when we are sober. They just know it.

nez

This...

MaximusD

Hi BABM, glad to see you are doing well. I have a few minutes of time on SR and the first thing I do is to come check on you. Know that we care. The kids help so much so what can you do to focus on them while they are gone? What I would do is tell them I was making them something for their next visit and then do it while they are gone. Then when they aren't there you are still busy focusing on them. Just an idea.

Hevyn

I'm so glad the visit has been positive. No need to ever go back to that sad place. Keep a good thing going - we are with you.

ant385

i am glad you are feeling better BABM. reading your posts is heartbreaking. I’m also glad you have abstained. I think a good second step is to acknowledge that alcohol is not giving you any enjoyment anymore. It is sucking enjoyment away from you. Look in the mirror and say the only option to be free from this pain is to go into recovery. You are more than capable. You can defeat this evil. And it is evil. It ruins people. Sure you may experience withdrawals but they have no foundation and although it may take months, maybe years your brain will bounce back. That’s a promise.

Delilah1

Sounds like you’re a great dad, just remember you deserve sobriety when you don’t have them with you too. ❤️

BeABetterMan

I always have activities and fun/unique things planned. Today I taught my eldest to use a jig saw and we built a hand made surfboard coat rack. My other daughter and I hung LED lights and vines in her room and my son and I played football on our hoverboards. My daughter practiced the calligraphy kit I got her and the twins and I did some paint by numbers. We sliced strawberries for snacks and had root beer floats for dinner. I never go weak when it comes to the kids.

If I could be sober in the days leading up however, my attitude would be better though. Would be short tempered when I didn’t mean to. Your points aren’t lost on me, but when it comes to the kids, I’m a stellar dad compared to most.

TiredCarpenter

It’s good to see you around BABM.

I derailed about 1 1/2 weeks ago. Drank harder than ever for 4 days. Was really, really, hurting for 4-5 days trying to recover. Split some wood on day six, worst sweating ever. (I’ll do my splitting in winter, splits so much better in the cold)
Anyway, I’m on 8.5 days sober and feeling pretty decent actually.

Hope it goes really well for you.

Dee74

Not to belabour the point - but you've got another kid to be a stellar Dad to - that scared fearful kid inside you, that kid who;s stuck at whatever age it was you took your first drink - that kid that's scared of being sober but who desperately needs to grow, or grow up, if you prefer.

Be a stellar dad to that kid too - make Dad decisions.

D

bradly22

I've been there, man. I had the covid in March. Please don't be afraid to seek medical attention if you are having difficulties with breathing.