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Old 02-25-2020, 12:21 PM   #21 (permalink)
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I really don’t know what this miraculous plan is that everyone keeps talking about!

You know what? That's an honest post which I identify with. I had a very good and detailed recovery plan. It meant dick all when I relapsed. Plenty of people get sober while having f*** all in the way of plans, they just had to or needed to, or wanted to get sober. In general, in my experience when I was 10 months sober, it's a good thing to have a plan, but ultimately it is down to not picking up and taking it day at a time. I speak only for myself, but personally I just enjoy drinking too much to stop for the time being. I'm not trying to trigger anyone with that comment, it's just my reality at present. But I think that you are on the ball with your implication that there is no miracle plan for any of us that have this affliction/addiction/bad habit/disease/spiritual disease.
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Old 02-25-2020, 01:03 PM   #22 (permalink)
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sorry to hear you're drinking and no real desire to stop sortofhomecoming
I was really rooting for you with that feb 1 thing.

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I had a very good and detailed recovery plan. It meant dick all when I relapsed.
I'm not trying to be that guy, but maybe your plan wasn't as good or detailed as you thought it was sortofhomecoming?

Don't make your addiction into this plan busting behemoth or inevitable crushing force of nature.

Its not.

Addiction can be beat - if you want it to be.

Every bit of effort you put into not drinking will be repaid.

D
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Old 02-25-2020, 01:19 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by sortofhomecomin View Post
Plenty of people get sober while having f*** all in the way of plans, they just had to or needed to, or wanted to get sober.
Funny how I no problem planning my drinking, often elaborate plans, yet procrastinated and dug in my heels when it came to initiating any kind of plan to get sober.

But something inside me changed...mindset, motivation, call it what you will. I needed to get sober, and I did.
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Old 02-25-2020, 01:25 PM   #24 (permalink)
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Funny how I no problem planning my drinking, often elaborate plans, yet procrastinated and dug in my heels when it came to initiating any kind of plan to get sober.

But something inside me changed...mindset, motivation, call it what you will. I needed to get sober, and I did.
This sentence should be plastered all over every place in every part of every alcoholic's world
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Old 02-26-2020, 03:11 AM   #25 (permalink)
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I no problem planning my drinking, often elaborate plans, yet procrastinated and dug in my heels when it came to initiating any kind of plan to get sober.

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Old 02-26-2020, 04:27 AM   #26 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by sortofhomecomin View Post
You know what? That's an honest post which I identify with. I had a very good and detailed recovery plan. It meant dick all when I relapsed. Plenty of people get sober while having f*** all in the way of plans, they just had to or needed to, or wanted to get sober. In general, in my experience when I was 10 months sober, it's a good thing to have a plan, but ultimately it is down to not picking up and taking it day at a time. I speak only for myself, but personally I just enjoy drinking too much to stop for the time being. I'm not trying to trigger anyone with that comment, it's just my reality at present. But I think that you are on the ball with your implication that there is no miracle plan for any of us that have this affliction/addiction/bad habit/disease/spiritual disease.
I feel really sorry you are struggling and rationalising your drinking as enjoyable. I am pretty convinced nobody gets to find this forum, and much less become an active participant, by 'enjoying' alcohol.

I used to have many doubts about 'the plan' until I slowly realised the truth that was in front of my nose to see: people like me (then) or you (now) shouting that plans do not work, are those who keep on drinking.

I agree that it is difficult to define and concrete examples are perhaps better. Here is my plan:

1. For the first two months I was following a specific programme for recovery daily, just to keep a routine. I started with 'the 30 days alcohol experiment' and then read every day several entries of several blogs (my favourite being mummywas a secret drinker). I also read about 10 different books on recovery.
2. I read here everyday and for a while I was active on my 'July 2019' thread.
3. I exercise at least 3 times a day
4. I write in my diary at least once a week (it was daily until I reach 3 months). I also read at least 10 pages of a book on CBT techniques (2 books so far).
5. Every night I think of 3 things I am grateful about
6. I have been totally honest with everybody around me, especially my husband about not drinking.

It has worked for me. Others may find better ways/add much more/much less. But a very important part of my new routines are linked to my sobriety.
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Old 02-26-2020, 04:37 AM   #27 (permalink)
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^Great post.

One comment about plans: they should be specific, and they can be adjusted.

I went to 82 meetings in 90 days when I first quit drinking. Over these 4 yrs, my meeting attendance has fluctuated and rarely meets 6 or 7 a wk (ie daily) - and I've adjusted time of day and location around the other things in my life. But I still go. So there's the specific, and the adjustable parts in this one example.

Starting somewhere is the point. Not drinking, then the huge question: what do I do instead?

That's why finding a plan and starting it is the whole point of us broken records who keep bringing it up
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Old 02-26-2020, 04:51 AM   #28 (permalink)
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I think the "miraculous plan" everyone talks about is the one that worked for them.
You too have a "miraculous plan" . You just need to figure out what that is.

Mine is rather simple. I think.
I actually didn't sit down and say "I am making a plan to stay sober".
I just knew I did not want to drink and knew there were things I would have to do and change to accomplish this.

1. Do not drink under any circumstance
2. I looked for help. Found SR and it has been a life saver
3. Do not drink under any circumstance
4. listen to my body. If Im hungry I eat. If I'm thirsty I drink. If I'm tired I rest.
5. Do not drink under any circumstance
6. Work on my self. Mentally and physically. Actually process my thoughts instead of just being pissed off or sad or indifferent
7. Do not drink under any circumstance
8. Find things to do with all my extra time
9. Do not drink under any circumstance
10. Express gratitude daily. Some days it may be 10 things some days 2 but everyday we have something to be grateful for and it isn't alcohol
11. Do not drink under any circumstance

There may be other things I am doing and do not realize idk.
I may add things later idk

I am very early in sobriety so who knows if this will work in the long run I just wanted to throw this out there.
I dont know if everyone needs a 1,000 point plan. I think it is very important that they REALLY want to quit and realize there are things they will need to do differently to accomplish that.
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Old 02-26-2020, 04:54 AM   #29 (permalink)
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^^^Well said. Honestly? My plan was not to die. Then go to AA, like, the next day. Everything else came from that start.
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Old 02-26-2020, 04:58 AM   #30 (permalink)
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Hi Stable! Lent is a great time to kick the habit. A 40 day period of sacrifice, prayer and self reflection, almost like it was designed for us drinkers. It was always one of my go-to's as a catholic to get a dry spell in. Sometimes I would make it the full 40, sometimes I didn't. This year I'm going into lent with over 30 days so I feel like I need to do something else, but haven't settled on it just yet. Maybe give someone a compliment each day....
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Old 02-26-2020, 07:43 AM   #31 (permalink)
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I think that's the best thing to do. Not drinking is apart of my Lent as well.

I'm doing the same thing myself. Even though I'm on 102 days currently. It will be 102 to 142 or 148 - I can't drink on sundays though to as well (since I'm quitting completely, but it works for now at least to just include this for Lent as well). I'm also giving up all the fast food chain restaurants to as well myself for lent.
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Old 02-26-2020, 08:37 AM   #32 (permalink)
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sorry to hear you're drinking and no real desire to stop sortofhomecoming
I was really rooting for you with that feb 1 thing.



I'm not trying to be that guy, but maybe your plan wasn't as good or detailed as you thought it was sortofhomecoming?

Don't make your addiction into this plan busting behemoth or inevitable crushing force of nature.

Its not.

Addiction can be beat - if you want it to be.

Every bit of effort you put into not drinking will be repaid.

D
Thanks Dee. Not to hijack Stable's thread but now that I think of it , while I felt my plan was sufficiently detailed, where I failed was implementation and discipline. There were certain things on my plan that I stopped doing for legitimate reasons (I couldn't really afford gym membership even with the amount I was saving by not drinking, and frankly I'm not really a gym person, just prefer outdoor exercise), but I should have amended the plan to capture a new activity, for example. It's on me. As the AA folk would put it I have a problem of self-will run rampant.
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Old 02-26-2020, 08:38 AM   #33 (permalink)
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The point with alcohol is what will you do after Lent?
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Old 02-26-2020, 02:32 PM   #34 (permalink)
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you can do it somekindofhomecoming

Stable - how are you?
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