2dayzmuse

Ama

Tis only me - a sober Ama yiz will be glad to hear!!!! Gosh passed through the month milestone too!!!!

Well last week was sooo difficult. My son had been soon down the previous week and then broke up with his girlfriend and I was beyond petrified. My doc said there was no hope of any real recovery for me with such constant fear for him and the suicide watches etc.

To cut a long story short it has been a week of miracles and some heart break too. Received more Christmas presents from my dearest - you wont believe it cause I am still pinching myself - an exquisite diamond studded gold bracelet and return flight tickets to the US for late Feb???? Twas a tad awkward too as the ex hubby was still here! Got away without notice but back to my son. By Sunday he was completely and utterly down so I persuaded him to go to hospital (the one I am in) and seek an assessment there. So he did and ended up being admitted so at least I could sleep that night.

Monday last (17th Jan) was his birthday and his situation really made him very low but also agitated and he ended up in the equivalent of the padded cell!!!!! Oh but I went sooo very low..... He is now in a lock up ward but should get into an open one by Monday and get his clothes and shoes laces etc back then too. He was quite calm today and I brought him out of the ward for a coffee and we had a good chat. Also I bought him an iPod for his b/day but until yesterday he was not allowed to have it because of the flex!

As all this was going on strange little things were happening too! Got a lovely dressy watch, an aromatherapy set and flowers from patients??? They were soo very sweet when I was soo down. Also I had been keeping the smoking room in large quanities of delicasies such as Belgian Chocolate Coated biscuits etc - so twere a kind of thank you they said. I personally think I was probably acting selfishly as I didnt want to put allllll the associated weight on myself Less is more thinking and sure its always more fun to share.....

So my prognosis......hmmmmmmm......seems I am not per se Bi-Polar, and not even Rapid Cycling.....MIXED MOOD is the current diagnosis! Eeekkkks I have to take stabilizing meds; anti-elation and also an anti-epilepsy one to reduce brain activity but combinedly these will restore my concentration I am assured. And it has to be said the I am sober and really doing all that I am told to do in order to stay well and sober. I have to avoid stimulation too - how terribly boring. Doc is trying to flatten my mood the moment he says but I have a feeling that I will still be an "up person" and basically an optimist. The only difference so far is that I am sleepier and yet think I have a lickle bit more concentration. Lots happening - always is and always will be - but I am getting all the mechanisms possible to live life, and to thrive.

Gosh but is was sooooo good to see the posts.....and you good wishes are gratefully accepted. None of us is too big to need help. Together we can open doors and keep them open.....Stay well all - i dooooo really think of you sooo much .....

Luvs and Recovery Ama

3legacy

((((((((AMA))))))))

:hello2
Glad you keep checking back in. Keeping you and yours in thought & prayers.
Your jewelry sounds pretty darn nice, care to pack it along on the Tahoe Trip with Newbies?


OK I did that crap at one time, but not anymore thanks to AA & God.

(((((((((AMA))))))))))
3 Legacy

Phinneas

((((AMA))))

I'm so glad you checked in, dear. I am proud of you for getting the help you need right now. Hang in there and know you are in our hearts and minds.

Sending more angels to get you and your family through.
:xmasv :xmasu :xmasv
jojo

Ama

(((JoJo)))

The lift of those angels is gratefully received......I am hanging in and its soooo good to hear from you. I am awaiting a taxi to go back to hosp now so please excuse the disjointed manner of this post. My parents who had been babysitting have just flown off on a 3 week Mediteranean Holiday so trying to put in mechanisms for the children next week for uniforms, getting up, breakfast and lunches and dinners (these are all frozen microwave meals I must admit!) My doc is happy with my progress though it feels like time is moving at a snails pace at the moment. Somehow I have all bills paid until the end of February - somehow I just know how to manage finance etc and plan ahead despite everything - suppose the ole angels did some work there too!!! And I am still employed by the bank???? Very very strange indeed and may still have a wee bit of a business but that could be asking for just toooo much to soon. Hope you and yours are well - Luvs Ama

3legacy

The reason I halo instead of HELLO those around me is my Grandma told me that way I would be surrounded by Angels. She reminded me that I was a pain in the arse and would never be one myself.

So, Halo again SR, especially JoJo & Ama

:xmasv :xmasu :xmasw

3 Legacy, just who I am and whom I am becoming

Ama

((((3 Legs))))

And a big and loving Halo to U 2!!!! Well out for another coupla hours again today! Have to go and shop now - aka empty out the purse!!!! so not a pleasant experience but did a few positive things today and for one got my gym membership frozen whilst I am in hospital and also found some tax paper work that I have to submit this week....

All very mundane stuff indeed.....My son was good again today and I found him reading a book and doing a bit of algebra when I visited him in his ward this morning. He sounds quite hopeful and that is a major change. Gosh this day last week was quite qutie dreadful. I phone "the Ex" a short while ago and gave him a brief synopsis of the weeks happening (those I could remember that is!!!!)....Good lord but my memory is only horrendous at the moment but in time that will come back I am assured.

Rushing out the door but will try and post later. Thank you alll so very much for your gentle wishes and stalwart friendship.....Luvs Ama xxx

3legacy

HALO ((((((((AMA)))))))))) :xmasw
LOL ..... Have to go shopping!!!!!!!???? .... LOL

I realized at a meeting last night of my Home Group that I "get" to go to meetings and "get" to go shopping these days. What an example of the "psychic change" setting in that revelation last night was for me. Thanks for all the good reminders in your post here this morning. Glad to hear your Son seems to be doing well. Your attitude has been missed immensely by me on the boards.

Last night I spoke with my son's Mom. What a wonderful gift A.A. has provided me. We spoke for a couple hours about our son, her other children, her family, and so much more. The gratitude for having developed an honest friendship after all we have been through is a miracle that continues even with some ups and downs.

Quiting drink was a bare beginning on this road, but it was necessary and so worth the surrender to find a Happy Joyous and Free LIFE.

(((((((((AMA))))))))))
:xmasu :xmasv
Keep coming back cuz I know you are a precious gift to all.
3 Legacy

Ama

Ahhhhhhhh......Sober but living a bad reality day!!!!!! Just got home for a few hours from the hospital and it is like and Iraqi Bombsite. Glass chrome kettle smashed for good measure and four full ashtrays in the front room. Cups, glasses and bowls strewn all over the place......eeekkkkk. Then the creme de la creme.....my 13 year old daugther was vomiting last night it seems - the after effects of vodka by all accounts.....yes there were beer cans from my son around too!!!!

I blew a gasket - shouted and screamed and offered them an alternative....go live with their Dad. And just to ensure that they knew I was serious and I am, I rang the estate agents with a view to putting the house up for sale. My doctor says I should not make any such decisions for at least six months.....sorry folks just mega venting!!!! But sober so there ya go!!!! Have to be honest and say that I havent even thought about a drink in a couple of weeks now. Being in hospital has perhaps something to do with it so I will not act complacently I assure you. But it is nice not even wanting one or the oblivion I have sought so very very often.

Well - the meds I am on have had an enlargening effect on me. I have been asked to cut back on my eating (4 x breakfasts, 2 dinners and 3-7 desserts) as it apparently can cause weight gain. The trousers I am wearing agree too :-(.....

So much is happening and my doctor says he would like to put me in a Tibetan Monastery as he figures I live in Grand Central Station at rush hour.... It would seem to be true.

Will check in later so keep well and sober dear friends in recovery....Luvs Ama

exlibris

What a day!

I am glad you're still here Anne Marie.

Ceallaigh gives Ama a hug here!

Remember to read Innisfree

"for peace comes dropping slow"

Take care of yourself!

Richard

3legacy

((((((((AMA))))))))
Your welcome to a week here in the woods!

keeping you in thoughts and prayers,
3 Legacy

2dayzmuse

(((Ama)))

I hope your having a better day. Our kids can be real buggers at times. They forget to think. I shake my head in disbelief then I remember what I was like as a teenager. Ugh...pay backs.

I was cruising the internet and came across a website full of angels. This one was titled "Ama". I kid you not. So here is your own namesake angel. Isn't she lovely? Just as you. I hope she cheers you up. Take care...

Phinneas

The Ama angel is beautiful. Sounds like you might need these angels, too.

2dayzmuse

Ama

(((LeAnne)))

Wow - that is the prettiest of angels and soooo serene. When I saw it I did need a lift and yes that is what it did to me. I am out for the weekend - well a Saturday night at home so quite anxious indeed. And just to help matters it is the first real booze test I have had but so far so good.

I started with my counselor on Wednesday and will see her again on Monday afternoon. Scary scary stuff. It also feels strange having my son in the same hospital as myself and he and I have both requested that full blown family therapy to be put in place. Funnily though, as he thinks I will go ballistic when I hear all truths etc. I think in my heart I know them, but hearing them will of course hurt I am sure all the more. This I believe is true for all addicts and so in that I am not alone and get some comfort from the fact that with the help of friends here at SR and AA etc I can cope and move to a brighter future.

How have you been doing???? Great I really really do hope.....

And ((((3 Legs)))) - Dear friend - hope all bodes well for you too!!!! What have you been up to??? As always I can see from the threads and posts that you are always on hand too - giving encouragement when it is most needed....

Will sign off for awhile as I have to do "Mummy" things.....just normal life...

Talk to you later and stay well and sober cause you help me to!!!! Luvs Ama

3legacy

((((((((((AMA)))))))))))

All boding well, ty. I'm not always on hand but do try to drop in as available and it was nice to see you have returned to keep us updated. Hope to catch up with you livetime one of these days. Kiss Heart of Angel's Spirit.

In Love & Service,
3 Legacy

3legacy

How you doing this week Ama?

I need a little spark!

Ama

((((3Legs :-) )))))

Well theres a wee smile for starters!!!!! How am I indeed!!!! Sure arent I only sober cause of wonderful friends like you!!!!! That is true by the way and not just me trying to butter you up.....

I am STILL in hospital and so is my son - but out on an overnight now. He had his brain scan on Thursday so we are awaiting results from these. He was told his place in university had been taken away from him on Monday :-( We started Family Therapy on Thursday too. It wasnt too bad I suppose. We have our next session on Tuesday 5pm. Eldest daughter broke up with her boyfriend of nearly 4 years and didnt attend the therapy session..... so all in all a very tenuous week.!!!!! So what is new???

Good news it that I got the hair done on Monday - Colour and Cut so will be presentable and not exhibiting the Grey Hairs! So in short (not the hair - hehehe) I am sober, in therapy, no longer grey haired though the hair is slightly shorter. Will be flying over to the States to meet my beau in less than two weeks.....I had put on 28lbs in hospital but have lost 7lbs this last week so now only 150lbs ......he says I will be the first pink lipsticked hippo ever to arrive in the USA (grins and giggles!!!!).

I am signing off now cause I am actually wrecked tired but will write some more tomorrow......Luvs and Sparks....Ama

3legacy

:xmasv (((((((((AMA))))))))) I love it when Angels smile and I close my eyes and can actually see them.

Thanks for dropping in and keeping me updated. Butter me up all you want but please don't call me a hot-buttered rummy! :tongue3:

Keeping you & the your kids in thoughts and prayers. Hmmm bet you look goregous in with the new do and pink lipstick. Guess I will add the beau to the prayer list as well. Happy Valentines Day!

:v7

Ama

(((All)))

Reading and posting on this sober Sunday morning with the sunshining and a gentle breeze in the background. I am just arriving at three months and started this thread on a second attempt to stop.....I am also posting to my first thread which just may help someome starting out on this journey.....

So I failed both the first and second times arounds but this time I am getting real sober time under my belt ((((Keith)))) and have to say that my clear head to day is a culmination of all the help I have received cause some days I just wasnt strong enough.....

Going back to the very first one now - reading it first and alll the wonderful help that was there for me within SR.......Always Thanks to you.......