Never seen a “successful” relapser
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: fl
Posts: 246
Thank you for this post I have tried to moderate after relapsing for the last 10 years to only find myself in a worse shape drinking heavier
I was oh i can have just 1 wine most everyone else I know can do this why not me
well another 10 years waisted to be closer to 60 & still in the same boat its day 2 for me & I know i cant have just 1 drink I used to quit then re search can you drink moderately as an alcoholic!!
today Im not even thinking that way I have to stay sober no other options
I was oh i can have just 1 wine most everyone else I know can do this why not me
well another 10 years waisted to be closer to 60 & still in the same boat its day 2 for me & I know i cant have just 1 drink I used to quit then re search can you drink moderately as an alcoholic!!
today Im not even thinking that way I have to stay sober no other options
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,945
We should be thanking you for your post. You’ve contributed to the unanimous response that moderation is impossible for us. I can live with that and happily do so. All the best to you on giving up for good.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: SC
Posts: 59
Originally Posted by tomsteve 
my question is can anyone go from dependency/heavy drinking to genuine moderation?
i could. id do it just like i did before-by rationalizing that moderate drinking is getting blackout drunk only 4-7 times/week while still maintaining employment.
i could. id do it just like i did before-by rationalizing that moderate drinking is getting blackout drunk only 4-7 times/week while still maintaining employment.
As for the OP no way in hell could I go back and moderate.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
The kindling looms for us ex active drunks as well.
A recent poster ended up with terrible mental and physical ramifications from what I used to consider a light week of about 1 bottle wine 2 Saturdays in a row.
It is much easier to suffer through the little craves i get these days then to get another dose of healing related symptoms.
All drinking offers is an escape from reality and then fills the next several days, weeks, months, or years with sick feelings etc. distracting me.
Thanks.
A recent poster ended up with terrible mental and physical ramifications from what I used to consider a light week of about 1 bottle wine 2 Saturdays in a row.
It is much easier to suffer through the little craves i get these days then to get another dose of healing related symptoms.
All drinking offers is an escape from reality and then fills the next several days, weeks, months, or years with sick feelings etc. distracting me.
Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
can anyone go from dependency/heavy drinking to genuine moderation?
in 2006 a man in new zealand survived a 15,000 foot fall from an airplane when his parachute malfunctioned. outside of a concussion, he was unharmed.
in 1972 a flight attendant survived a fall when a bomb exploded in the plane.......at 33,330 feet.....in the air. she was the sole survivor.
raise your hand if you want to see if you too are in that exclusive club. i mean SOME people have, right? but is it worth the risk?
in 2006 a man in new zealand survived a 15,000 foot fall from an airplane when his parachute malfunctioned. outside of a concussion, he was unharmed.
in 1972 a flight attendant survived a fall when a bomb exploded in the plane.......at 33,330 feet.....in the air. she was the sole survivor.
raise your hand if you want to see if you too are in that exclusive club. i mean SOME people have, right? but is it worth the risk?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 3,597
Originally Posted by Accord1
I’m in the minority, having quit and never relapsed. I credit this site with keeping it that way. I came here and listened to numerous people with the same story as mine, every single person that tried to moderate ultimately failed long term. I figure if there wasn’t one success story to be told, what would make me any different. I drank to get ****** up, not to have a have one glass of fine wine or one snobby craft beer. Just my thoughts.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Posts: 365
Possible for an alcoholic to moderate? No way. That's a big lie our AVs try to tell us, that it will be different this time. It won't. It will be worse.
I think it's far more uncommon for smokers (that aren't big drinkers) to die that young, not that it matters. Neither is good for you, but you'll see a lot of old Chinese/Greek/French men happily smoking. You won't see a lot of old people getting drunk anywhere in the world. Maybe I'm biased. The last time I visited my great grandfather in the nursing home where he spent his last few months, when I was 12, he bummed a smoke off my dad (who is still alive, healthy and smoking). It was very touching the way the nurse closed the door and pretended not to notice as they sat there smoking and talking. Grandmother smoked for 70 years. I have a lot more anecdotes.
On the other side, I've known multiple people who died extremely young -- even in their 30s -- from drinking. It's insane that they're still allowed to advertise alcohol.
Originally Posted by dcg
I don't think it's any more uncommon for hardcore smokers in their 40's-50's to die from smoking-related complications than it is for hardcore drinkers to die at that age.
On the other side, I've known multiple people who died extremely young -- even in their 30s -- from drinking. It's insane that they're still allowed to advertise alcohol.
No Dogma Please
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,562
Is it remotely possible? I'd say that nothing is completely impossible. There may be a very few people who can do this.
Why would you want to? Why poke that bear? What is it about drinking that's so great and positive that you'd risk ending up back in addiction again?
I love the way I feel without alcohol and don't want it back in my life. If I were miraculously given the ability to moderate I still wouldn't drink.
Why would you want to? Why poke that bear? What is it about drinking that's so great and positive that you'd risk ending up back in addiction again?
I love the way I feel without alcohol and don't want it back in my life. If I were miraculously given the ability to moderate I still wouldn't drink.
D♭7♭9♯9♯11♭13
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 336
Originally Posted by ImNotThatGuy
Possible for an alcoholic to moderate? No way. That's a big lie our AVs try to tell us, that it will be different this time. It won't. It will be worse.
I think it's far more uncommon for smokers (that aren't big drinkers) to die that young, not that it matters. Neither is good for you, but you'll see a lot of old Chinese/Greek/French men happily smoking. You won't see a lot of old people getting drunk anywhere in the world. Maybe I'm biased. The last time I visited my great grandfather in the nursing home where he spent his last few months, when I was 12, he bummed a smoke off my dad (who is still alive, healthy and smoking). It was very touching the way the nurse closed the door and pretended not to notice as they sat there smoking and talking. Grandmother smoked for 70 years. I have a lot more anecdotes.
On the other side, I've known multiple people who died extremely young -- even in their 30s -- from drinking. It's insane that they're still allowed to advertise alcohol.
I think it's far more uncommon for smokers (that aren't big drinkers) to die that young, not that it matters. Neither is good for you, but you'll see a lot of old Chinese/Greek/French men happily smoking. You won't see a lot of old people getting drunk anywhere in the world. Maybe I'm biased. The last time I visited my great grandfather in the nursing home where he spent his last few months, when I was 12, he bummed a smoke off my dad (who is still alive, healthy and smoking). It was very touching the way the nurse closed the door and pretended not to notice as they sat there smoking and talking. Grandmother smoked for 70 years. I have a lot more anecdotes.
On the other side, I've known multiple people who died extremely young -- even in their 30s -- from drinking. It's insane that they're still allowed to advertise alcohol.
But my main point was that we're all experienced adults. We know the risks of both. We don't need headlines every time a random person in his or her 40's dies from liver failure because there's not an alcoholic in his or her 40's that doesn't know they're playing with fire. I sure knew - even in my early 20's, but that sure didn't stop me.
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Join Date: May 2019
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Originally Posted by dcg
Of course, and I know of one person who died in his early 30's from drinking, and three others in their 40's just last year. I also know those who have died from smoking in their 40's, but the health effects of both manifest itself in more than just the most obvious diseases for both, so I'm going by CDC's figures, which illustrate that cigarettes cause 5x more deaths per year than booze.
But my main point was that we're all experienced adults. We know the risks of both. We don't need headlines every time a random person in his or her 40's dies from liver failure because there's not an alcoholic in his or her 40's that doesn't know they're playing with fire. I sure knew - even in my early 20's, but that sure didn't stop me.
But my main point was that we're all experienced adults. We know the risks of both. We don't need headlines every time a random person in his or her 40's dies from liver failure because there's not an alcoholic in his or her 40's that doesn't know they're playing with fire. I sure knew - even in my early 20's, but that sure didn't stop me.
I’ve miraculously escaped with just a mild fatty liver which will take a while to heal I’d imagine, but at least that condition is reversible now I’ve stopped drinking. However, it was only when I became concerned about my drinking that I looked properly at the health effects. I have to say most drinkers don’t know the full risks especially the fact that liver damage has no symptoms until it’s at an advanced stage. Cirrhosis is a grim condition with internal bleeding and even affects the brain.
I was also led to believe countries such as France and Spain have a better attitude to alcohol with one glass of wine a day with a meal, etc. That’s a fabrication. These countries have way more liver disease problems.
I’m not anti alcohol - if others (not me alas) can genuinely moderate and enjoy those 2 or 3 beers a week, that’s cool. However, the health effects for heavy drinkers aren’t that widely known in my opinion especially the lack of symptoms and the fact there are some deaths of heavy drinkers in their 30s and 40s.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
"That instinct remains dormant forever in my opinion."
Yikes. This is another of those fallacies that can lead people with years and years (decades!) of sobriety to relapse. I don't care if I'm 82 and told I've got only a good few years (that would be a great life, btw!) I'm not going to drink.
Yikes. This is another of those fallacies that can lead people with years and years (decades!) of sobriety to relapse. I don't care if I'm 82 and told I've got only a good few years (that would be a great life, btw!) I'm not going to drink.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,945
Originally Posted by August252015
"That instinct remains dormant forever in my opinion."
Yikes. This is another of those fallacies that can lead people with years and years (decades!) of sobriety to relapse. I don't care if I'm 82 and told I've got only a good few years (that would be a great life, btw!) I'm not going to drink.
Yikes. This is another of those fallacies that can lead people with years and years (decades!) of sobriety to relapse. I don't care if I'm 82 and told I've got only a good few years (that would be a great life, btw!) I'm not going to drink.
I mean to say that the urge to drink fades with (sober) time. However, in my opinion, if a former alcohol dependent starts to drink again, that urge (what I termed as the instinct) awakens.
As I said
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 336
Originally Posted by Hodd
The cruel thing is that whilst smoking produces noticeable symptoms such as smoker’s cough, alcohol-related (mainly liver) diseases don’t produce any symptoms until they become extremely serious. Even liver function blood tests aren’t that reliable in detecting problems.
I’ve miraculously escaped with just a mild fatty liver which will take a while to heal I’d imagine, but at least that condition is reversible now I’ve stopped drinking. However, it was only when I became concerned about my drinking that I looked properly at the health effects. I have to say most drinkers don’t know the full risks especially the fact that liver damage has no symptoms until it’s at an advanced stage. Cirrhosis is a grim condition with internal bleeding and even affects the brain.
I was also led to believe countries such as France and Spain have a better attitude to alcohol with one glass of wine a day with a meal, etc. That’s a fabrication. These countries have way more liver disease problems.
I’m not anti alcohol - if others (not me alas) can genuinely moderate and enjoy those 2 or 3 beers a week, that’s cool. However, the health effects for heavy drinkers aren’t that widely known in my opinion especially the lack of symptoms and the fact there are some deaths of heavy drinkers in their 30s and 40s.
How many people ignore the signs of alcoholic hepatitis and just keep drinking and die? I think a lot. I got liver pain nearly daily (never told anyone) and still drank. If you weren't aware that drinking every day to excess can cause insidious premature death, then I think you are in the minority of heavy-use, long-time alcoholics.
In the US, you can't drink an alcoholic beverage in factory packaging (e.g., bottle) without there being a health warning. They should be putting those labels on all the garbage food that is pedaled to the masses. Obesity is #2 killer behind tobacco, but I suppose it doesn't matter as everyone disregards those labels anyway, despite being reminded every time they take a swig.
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Posts: 336
Originally Posted by Hodd
Just to clarify, the word dormant comes from the Latin dormire which means to sleep.
Originally Posted by Hodd
I mean to say that the urge to drink fades with (sober) time. However, in my opinion, if a former alcohol dependent starts to drink again, that urge (what I termed as the instinct) awakens.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,945
That’s cool. It’s not always easy to convey the right meaning in writing so hopefully all is good here. We’re on the same page regarding not drinking again.
Also, hopefully it’s been a useful thread for others. I have to admit not having heard of kindling before in this context. Yet another reason to steer clear and avoid any relapses.
Also, hopefully it’s been a useful thread for others. I have to admit not having heard of kindling before in this context. Yet another reason to steer clear and avoid any relapses.
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Originally Posted by dcg
. If you weren't aware that drinking every day to excess can cause insidious premature death, then I think you are in the minority of heavy-use, long-time alcoholics.
.
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I’m not in the US. There are health warnings on alcohol here in Europe but nowhere near as direct and shocking as for tobacco products.
Fatty liver has no symptoms but is obviously a warning that a far worse condition will be next. Unless drinkers know they have a fatty liver by means of an ultrasound or similar teat, many will believe they’re healthy enough to carry on drinking.
We on this forum now know the risks of drinking, and support each other to give up and stop. This thread also emphasises that moderation is an impossibility, and I’d like to thank everyone who commented. Problem drinkers haven’t yet reached that conclusion, and we all hope they do.
Take it easy all 😀
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Join Date: Aug 2015
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Originally Posted by Hodd
Just to clarify, the word dormant comes from the Latin dormire which means to sleep.
I mean to say that the urge to drink fades with (sober) time. However, in my opinion, if a former alcohol dependent starts to drink again, that urge (what I termed as the instinct) awakens.
As I said
I'd also say that I firmly believe this is a cunning, baffling disease- so whether someone is 5 mo or 3+ yr (me) or decades into sobriety, much entertainment of variations on this theme are ... potentially quite dangerous.
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