Never seen a “successful” relapser
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Never seen a “successful” relapser
I’m on my first long quit and am on five months. It’s been relatively easy as I finally accepted I had a dependence on alcohol and had to give up totally. Earlier attempts at moderation or occasional drinking failed within weeks and I was drinking heavily again.
I read posts from people sadly all too often who’ve relapsed after “just the one”. I’m no different or better. If I had “just the one”, I’d without a doubt relapse.
However, I’m not anti alcohol. If people can genuinely drink one or two beers a week socially, that’s fine. Unlike me, they’ve controlled their drinking over the years and not crossed that line into dependency. There is no way I can drink like that as the urge for more would become too strong.
So, bearing in mind I don’t ever plan to drink again and I strongly advise anyone on this forum to avoid “just the one” as we all have a problem to be on this site in the first place, my question is can anyone go from dependency/heavy drinking to genuine moderation? I sincerely doubt this, but I’m curious.
Again, I’m not condoning moderate drinking as I don’t believe it’s physically possible for anyone who’s ever been dependent.
I read posts from people sadly all too often who’ve relapsed after “just the one”. I’m no different or better. If I had “just the one”, I’d without a doubt relapse.
However, I’m not anti alcohol. If people can genuinely drink one or two beers a week socially, that’s fine. Unlike me, they’ve controlled their drinking over the years and not crossed that line into dependency. There is no way I can drink like that as the urge for more would become too strong.
So, bearing in mind I don’t ever plan to drink again and I strongly advise anyone on this forum to avoid “just the one” as we all have a problem to be on this site in the first place, my question is can anyone go from dependency/heavy drinking to genuine moderation? I sincerely doubt this, but I’m curious.
Again, I’m not condoning moderate drinking as I don’t believe it’s physically possible for anyone who’s ever been dependent.
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Join Date: Apr 2018
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I’ve never met an alcoholic who can successfully moderate for a sustainable period of time without sinking back into full blown alcoholism eventually. The slide back into addiction can be slow and sometimes take a few years but moderation for an alcoholic only ever ends at the same destination every single time.
I can’t moderate and I no longer ask this question, I know the answer so I don’t waste any of my time even pondering it as it serves no positive purpose in my life. xx
I can’t moderate and I no longer ask this question, I know the answer so I don’t waste any of my time even pondering it as it serves no positive purpose in my life. xx
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I must admit being hesitant to write the opening post as my former self would love to read such a post and see an excuse to have “just the one”. Hopefully the opposite will apply and it really gets the message across that the choices for those wanting “just the one” are:
a) be a heavy drinker
b) never drink again
with no middle ground.
I read a U.K.-based liver health forum (I’ve miraculously escaped with nothing more than a fatty liver), and a member just died aged 48 from complications of alcohol-related cirrhosis. I would imagine this is a very young age to die from alcohol abuse, but I’m baffled why this sort of tragedy isn’t more publicised. If 48-year-olds died from smoking, it’d be front page news.
a) be a heavy drinker
b) never drink again
with no middle ground.
I read a U.K.-based liver health forum (I’ve miraculously escaped with nothing more than a fatty liver), and a member just died aged 48 from complications of alcohol-related cirrhosis. I would imagine this is a very young age to die from alcohol abuse, but I’m baffled why this sort of tragedy isn’t more publicised. If 48-year-olds died from smoking, it’d be front page news.
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Join Date: Jan 2017
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Recovery from alcoholism has given me a way of feeling/seeing/thinking in which I wouldn’t wish to add any mind-altering chemicals into my system. There is simply no need. I never wanted moderation anyway; that to me just seemed pointless and my physical and mental reaction was a compulsion to drink more.
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Join Date: Apr 2019
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I agree with brighterday. I am not interested nor have I ever been in having one or two drinks. All I want is the buzz of being merily drunk. Then of course I do not stop there but proceed to get wasted. Moderation is not an option for an alcoholic.
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my question is can anyone go from dependency/heavy drinking to genuine moderation?
i could. id do it just like i did before-by rationalizing that moderate drinking is getting blackout drunk only 4-7 times/week while still maintaining employment.
i could. id do it just like i did before-by rationalizing that moderate drinking is getting blackout drunk only 4-7 times/week while still maintaining employment.
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I know I spent 20 years trying to moderate my drinking and got nowhere with it.
Even tho I said to myself I only wanted one or two, the times when I did only have one or two really annoyed me and I'd go out for more at the earliest opportunity.
I drank to get wasted. Oblivion was always my aim even if I didn't always admit that to myself.
D
Even tho I said to myself I only wanted one or two, the times when I did only have one or two really annoyed me and I'd go out for more at the earliest opportunity.
I drank to get wasted. Oblivion was always my aim even if I didn't always admit that to myself.
D
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I’m afraid I don’t know lg’s guide, but I’m betting a long-term study would show heavy to moderate drinkers become heavy drinkers again maybe even years later.
Heavy drinking becomes like an instinct to an alcohol dependent. That instinct remains dormant forever in my opinion.
Heavy drinking becomes like an instinct to an alcohol dependent. That instinct remains dormant forever in my opinion.
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Join Date: Sep 2018
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I’m in the minority, having quit and never relapsed. I credit this site with keeping it that way. I came here and listened to numerous people with the same story as mine, every single person that tried to moderate ultimately failed long term. I figure if there wasn’t one success story to be told, what would make me any different. I drank to get ****** up, not to have a have one glass of fine wine or one snobby craft beer. Just my thoughts.
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Originally Posted by Hodd 
[left]my question is can anyone go from dependency/heavy drinking to genuine moderation? I sincerely doubt this, but I’m curious.
But to answer your question, I have never once seen someone who drank abusively return to non abusive use. And ever if I did , it would not matter to me one bit. I am an alcoholic so I can never drink again, even one sip, without bad consequences.
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Join Date: Mar 2019
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Just dont want to take that chance. The feeling of that buzz is not worth the hell I was in, and would be back in. Thats why this forum and meetings work for me, its a daily reminder of both the success stories and the heartbreaks. Finally, had a coworker who was an alcoholic, and seemed to have things under control. He got married, was in phenomenal physical shape, and tried to go back to social drinking. Within a couple of years, wife left him, looked almost unrecognizable, and then sadly just died alone.
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Originally Posted by Hodd
I would imagine this is a very young age to die from alcohol abuse, but I’m baffled why this sort of tragedy isn’t more publicised. If 48-year-olds died from smoking, it’d be front page news.
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Originally Posted by ScottFromWI
Even if the answer to your question was yes, you already know it’s inpossible for you, correct? So why would it even matter? I’d suggest it’s your own addiction asking the question to leave the door open for you to drink again just a tiny crack. .
1. Curiosity
2. It has taken me years to realise moderation will never happen. It’s a miserable existence trying to moderate when your body and mind just want more alcohol. The fact it’s many times easier to admit “defeat” and quit forever isn’t widely realised, and most heavy drinkers still think they can moderate their intake.
For point 2, I’m hoping this thread will emphasise that moderation is very unlikely to be successful. So I’m not writing here for my own benefit. I thought that was fairly clear.
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Originally Posted by Hodd
I’m afraid I don’t know lg’s guide, but I’m betting a long-term study would show heavy to moderate drinkers become heavy drinkers again maybe even years later.
Heavy drinking becomes like an instinct to an alcohol dependent. That instinct remains dormant forever in my opinion.
Heavy drinking becomes like an instinct to an alcohol dependent. That instinct remains dormant forever in my opinion.
What does work is abstinence. Why should that be? I'm not sure, but without alcohol in our system, we alcoholics behave like normal people. It's almost like we are normal, but one shot of whiskey and we start a slide toward the metaphorical gutter. I have found out it's easy to abstain, but impossible to moderate. At one time I wished hopelessly that this was not so. Now I actually love abstinence. I'm a guy that doesn't drink, and there is nothing wrong about that. It's a good life choice, and actually a source of pride.
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Nothing wrong with that at all 
I feel a sense of pride with my five months already.
Many people, and I’d term them extremely fortunate, have never drunk and choose not to. I look up to them. Next on my list are genuine moderate drinkers. Last comes heavy drinkers and practising alcoholics who I sympathise with obviously, having been in their shoes, but I never want to be in that group again.
I feel a sense of pride with my five months already.Many people, and I’d term them extremely fortunate, have never drunk and choose not to. I look up to them. Next on my list are genuine moderate drinkers. Last comes heavy drinkers and practising alcoholics who I sympathise with obviously, having been in their shoes, but I never want to be in that group again.
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Similar to accord1 I have not relapsed. I also credit SR for that. While drinking I did attempt to moderate hundreds of times and was unsuccessful. Now that I am sober I realize having 1 or 2 drinks not only would not work for me, it also has zero appeal to me. I like to get drunk.
as far as your question goes, my dad is the closest I know to doing this. When I was a kid my dad drank more than he should and more than my mom was ok with. He only drank beer. Around when I was in middle school he quit drinking for over 5 years. I think this was at my moms request. He then resumed drinking over 20 years ago but only has a maximum 2 beers in a day.
I see my dad about 3 days a week. If he is drinking a beer a know longer have any desire to join him. I know if I have one with him I would absolutely want to stop at the liquor store on my way home.
as far as your question goes, my dad is the closest I know to doing this. When I was a kid my dad drank more than he should and more than my mom was ok with. He only drank beer. Around when I was in middle school he quit drinking for over 5 years. I think this was at my moms request. He then resumed drinking over 20 years ago but only has a maximum 2 beers in a day.
I see my dad about 3 days a week. If he is drinking a beer a know longer have any desire to join him. I know if I have one with him I would absolutely want to stop at the liquor store on my way home.
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