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Old 03-06-2019, 09:30 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Finding my mind in all this


I have been sober for 4 months now after a long history of the abuse of many substances, more than two decades of abuse. It culminated in a cataclysm of meth and heroine. My lovely wife and I just about lost our lives to both of them. One day we looked at the emaciated skeletons that we had become and decided to live. We were living in our car and had been ditched by everyone in our lives except for her mother. With the help of her mother and a couple of clear heads we now have a room and I have a steady job. We as well just about have her broken car fixed.
My recovery has been an amazing and eye opening experience. I have had no missteps and no real want to go back to my old ways, as much as I do miss them. There is just one reason that I do miss them though. That is that I learned to enjoy everything while on drugs. Now without them I can not seem to enjoy anything. I try writing, drawing, playing games, and meditating, but nothing seems that interesting anymore. I can not hold my attention on anything for more than twenty minutes (most of the time its more like five minutes) without feeling bored. Yet doing nothing seems even more boring. So I go along doing things that I am bored with just to stave off the incessant boredom that doing nothing brings. With everything seeming to loose its color in life I am just hoping and praying for a hobby or anything that I get any enjoyment out of. I am not depressed, in fact most of the time I am quite happy. I am just bored out of my mind.
Any advise from anyone would be amazing. I wish you all a wonderful day.
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Old 03-06-2019, 09:52 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Welcome mparker and well done on your 4 months!
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Old 03-06-2019, 09:54 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Thank you, its good to be here
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Old 03-06-2019, 10:00 AM   #4 (permalink)
Giving up is NOT an option.
 
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Hey mparker - What you are experiencing is completely normal and expected. When we use substances, our brains release dopamine (the "feel good chemical) at much higher levels than "normal." Over time, the effect of the dopamine is less and less, so we take or drink more and more in order to recapture that high. At the same time, our brains lose the ability to release even normal amounts of dopamine without the substance. So when we quit using, we have a hard time feeling any pleasure. But we do recover from that, eventually. It just takes time. Here's an article I found that explains it.

https://www.recoveryanswers.org/reco...n-in-recovery/
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Old 03-06-2019, 10:55 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Congratulations on four months for you and your girlfriend.
I think it's very well explained by mld51's post.
I've been sober ten years, and I still get bored. But, I'd much rather be bored than drunk.
Hang in there, you'll find something to pique your interest. Find something you enjoy doing. There's a million things that open up to us when we stop using, you just have to be willing to find them.
What have you always wanted to do but haven't? Try it.
Best to you and you can always come here if you're bored.
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Old 03-06-2019, 12:16 PM   #6 (permalink)
Try your best.. eventually you'll get it
 
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The more you hang out with us the more you will meet peeps (people) from all walks of life from all parts of the world. I think it's a big part of what I genuinely love about this place is so many lives so many perspectives im sure I've done loads in my personal life inspired by others here - there was a point I couldn't leave my house and it's a big ol' world now & I'm up for a little exploring

What say you ?
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Old 03-06-2019, 12:39 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I have been bored out of my mind all week. I just got into sober living and I am looking for work. I am reading my recovery books and stuff like that but I am still bored out of my freakin mind. I am scared that this will make me relapse because boredom has done that to me before. I don't even enjoy my game and it isn't like I am depressed or anything. I don't think that I am a dry addict but I don't know. I feel like I hit a wall in my recovery. Music is not even feeling good at the moment. It sucks to say but the only thing that I look forward to is drinking an energy drink and smoking cigs. I want to quit that but I can't right now because I feel like I will lose my mind. I feel like I am never doing enough for my recovery.
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Old 03-06-2019, 01:15 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Thank you MLD51 this has caused me to look up some diet/supplement options. I am a bit more hopeful for the future in the fact of having some options rather than resigning myself to what I am experiencing.
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Old 03-06-2019, 01:21 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Robert88, I know exactly how you feel man. It can get downright mind numbing at times. I try to stay mindful of the people and things I have lost because of my addiction as well as the people and things I could loose if I went back. It is most likely not the best thing to keep in my mind, but it is the one fact that keeps me on the strait and narrow no matter how much the boredom gets to me.
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Old 03-06-2019, 04:42 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Hi and welcome Mr Parker

MLDs covered the science stuff - not everyone gets it, but there is a common experience of anhedonia for a while

I'd also add - for a while I was living my old addicted life - just not drinking - and I was wondering why I was going out of my brain with boredom and dissatisfaction.

My drinking made the intolerable tolerable.

I had to build a new life - a sober life I loved - that takes time too, just like the recuperation in mind and body takes time

You're on the right road - don't doubt that

D
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Old 03-07-2019, 07:16 AM   #11 (permalink)
Giving up is NOT an option.
 
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Another thing I wanted to add. When we were using/drinking, we got used to the easy, immediate effects of the substance to make us feel good. Now we have to get used to waiting it out sometimes, and working at finding the things that give us pleasure. I am not known for my patience, so this was hard for me. I wanted that easy "high." Even if it meant a lower low each time I sought it out. I really had to learn to be patient with the process, and trust it. Slowly, over time, I became comfortable with not always having the ups and downs. Being steady and even (sometimes a bit boring) is highly preferable to the roller-coaster I was on before. Just took me some time to appreciate that.
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