I could use a friend
Walk on
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 68
Originally Posted by Snufkin 
Hello dear SR friends,
Some of you probably remember me. I used to post here for a while before I moved from the UK to my home country.
Everything went well for a few months; I felt like I broke free from toxic relationship with my ex, I began therapy including group sessions and a psychiatrist treatment, a lot of exciting new job opportunities started popping up... I was over 3 months sober, but something happened (a minor, pathetic disappointment) that lead to a relapse, and now it feels like I’ve never even stopped drinking for a day.
New person, same old mistakes, but worse. Drunk, my first thing was to grab a scalpel and I badly cut myself, which left me in a financial ruin as I don’t have insurance in Poland... I lost my job, dropped out from my recovery group, lied terribly to my psychiatrist as to why I can no longer attend sessions, and spiralled down a path of self destruction... adding drugs and sex addiction to constant boozing.
I feel like I just can’t beat this thing. I did a
lot of horrifying, messed up things and now I’m so alone. I really want to die. I don’t really know what’s stopping me...
Thank you for listening
Snufs
Some of you probably remember me. I used to post here for a while before I moved from the UK to my home country.
Everything went well for a few months; I felt like I broke free from toxic relationship with my ex, I began therapy including group sessions and a psychiatrist treatment, a lot of exciting new job opportunities started popping up... I was over 3 months sober, but something happened (a minor, pathetic disappointment) that lead to a relapse, and now it feels like I’ve never even stopped drinking for a day.
New person, same old mistakes, but worse. Drunk, my first thing was to grab a scalpel and I badly cut myself, which left me in a financial ruin as I don’t have insurance in Poland... I lost my job, dropped out from my recovery group, lied terribly to my psychiatrist as to why I can no longer attend sessions, and spiralled down a path of self destruction... adding drugs and sex addiction to constant boozing.
I feel like I just can’t beat this thing. I did a
lot of horrifying, messed up things and now I’m so alone. I really want to die. I don’t really know what’s stopping me...
Thank you for listening
Snufs
Get yourself back to the help groups. Addicts understand addicts; nobody will judge you.
You beat this for 3 months; you can do this you just need a closer support network. We are here for you
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,521
Originally Posted by Taooo
Get yourself back to the help groups. Addicts understand addicts; nobody will judge you.
You beat this for 3 months; you can do this you just need a closer support network. We are here for you
You beat this for 3 months; you can do this you just need a closer support network. We are here for you
♥♥
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,373
Hey Purps, thanks for asking... I'm not doing great, but I stay sober. I somehow lost all desire to drink in the past few weeks, but I'm feeling very depressed and self-destructive. I still can't get a job and I'm looking for ANY job at this point, I have a massive debt and I have to move out at the end of February coz I can no longer afford to pay rent.
I have this 'sort of' boyfriend that I 'sort of' live with now... We get along, but things move much faster than I'd like coz of my messed up financial situation... It's like we skipped dating but got married. Just like my ex he's a total slob living on take-aways (it seems to be my type
), so I play a 'good wifey' doing all the household chores and I know he appreciates it, but not having a penny is embarrassing and I hate it, I can't live like this.
I started seeing a new therapist and I also attend group sessions twice a week like I used to, but I don't know if it helps at all. I can't shake this feeling of total hopelessness.
On the upside, my bf has an amazing cat that I'm totally in love with. He makes my day brighter. Wanna see pics?
I have this 'sort of' boyfriend that I 'sort of' live with now... We get along, but things move much faster than I'd like coz of my messed up financial situation... It's like we skipped dating but got married. Just like my ex he's a total slob living on take-aways (it seems to be my type
), so I play a 'good wifey' doing all the household chores and I know he appreciates it, but not having a penny is embarrassing and I hate it, I can't live like this.I started seeing a new therapist and I also attend group sessions twice a week like I used to, but I don't know if it helps at all. I can't shake this feeling of total hopelessness.
On the upside, my bf has an amazing cat that I'm totally in love with. He makes my day brighter.
Wanna see pics?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,521
YES yes yes yes!!!!!!!!!!
I dreamed of you last night my darling.....really....big dreams.....love you and miss you and just yes.....show us please and stay please and let us be there for you: gosh we care girl. ♥♥♥
I dreamed of you last night my darling.....really....big dreams.....love you and miss you and just yes.....show us please and stay please and let us be there for you: gosh we care girl.
♥♥♥
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 705
Hi Snuf! Glad you have been able to stay sober, sorry to hear about your health troubles. I have read a lot of your threads and relate to a lot. Self harm is a bitch. Anyway, all the best to you. And YES! I always want to see kitty pics.
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