Day 0 aa not working
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Originally Posted by bexxed 
You’re doing it, Sweeti. Day 4. Good food and support is so important. I have leftovers and will be eating them for a few days. Chicken and mushroom pie sounds pretty good, actually. I have to work tonight late and will be back on here when I get home, after 2 am. How’s it going today for you?
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Originally Posted by sweetichick
Thanks Zanna, Hevyn, Delilah and Dee for your continued support.
She's gone back to sleep now and me is very grumpy.Hugs Xx
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Just think, on payday you will have one week sober. Planning ahead is a great idea. Pay your bills, go grocery shopping, and put the rest of the money in the bank if you can. Think of something you would like to save up for, and start this week.
You've got this Sweeti!
You've got this Sweeti!
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Originally Posted by sweetichick
Yesterday was a bit of a bad day so I didn't post. Finding the insomnia tough as it makes me so tired.Today is much better. I desperately want to do stuff but my body isn't up to it. Anyway enough complaining. How are you doing?
Insomnia is tough but my experience is that it isn’t long lived in the big picture. Definitely messes with our energy levels in the short term, though. It’s worth it in the end, when the brain catches up with the body, sober. Are you on day five now? This is so good, Sweeti!
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Originally Posted by sweetichick
Hi Mera. Today is day 5. I will pm you the recipe. I took your advice and went on a short walk. My doors and windows are always open because it is so hot here. I do need a plan for the coming days. It's payday in 2 days always a trigger. Thanks for your support.
I'm glad to hear you got out for a walk. Did you like it? Maybe you could make that a daily habit.
Payday seems to be a huge trigger for you, one of your biggest hurdles. Let's start planning for that today, not much more time until it arrives. The obvious is pay your bills, go grocery shopping and spend the money on needed and healthy things. But even that has not stopped you in the past, the temptation comes in too strong and you end up spending on alcohol. So I think a good area to focus would be to yes, do those healthy spending activities but also come up with a plan to stay busy and active with other things. The cravings and thoughts are going to come, we know that. No use trying to will away the thoughts. Your focus should be on how you are going to deal with them. Exercise, whatever your capabilities are, is a really good option. I personally have found that doing positive things helps me. I don't do well with tv binges and ice cream. I prefer to DO something that makes my situation better in some way, I end up going to bed at night feeling accomplished and good about myself. So many times I drank because I felt like **** about myself, so doing something to make me feel good is really helpful. Cleaning, organising, a home project, exercise, taking care of something administrative like paying bills, going to the post office, calling a company I need to speak to about something.... What have you been putting off that you need to do? Even something ridiculous and annoying like dusting the floorboards, washing out the inside of a trashcan, cleaning your windows.
I'll be waiting for that recipe, it sounds so yummy. Why don't you wait to send that to me and put that on your list for things to do on payday. You'll need to log-in here and spend time posting.
I believe in you sweeti, so many people do. It all comes down to you though. With, admittedly massive, effort, you can crush through this payday and come out on the other side close to that 10 day mark.
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Originally Posted by Zanna
You're very welcome love - I'll be posting some tips for you, for payday - crazy things I did to get through. It's 4,30am here at the moment, so will do that later in the day or tomorrow. Cats love me at 4am 
She's gone back to sleep now and me is very grumpy.
Hugs Xx
She's gone back to sleep now and me is very grumpy.Hugs Xx
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Originally Posted by Delilah1
Just think, on payday you will have one week sober. Planning ahead is a great idea. Pay your bills, go grocery shopping, and put the rest of the money in the bank if you can. Think of something you would like to save up for, and start this week.
You've got this Sweeti!
You've got this Sweeti!
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Originally Posted by Meraviglioso
Great job Sweeti, you are doing this. We all had to start out with these first few days. Making it through day 3 is always a big hurdle for most people, it is when the alcohol is completely leaving your system. That said, I found with my heavier drinking, which it sounds like you are doing, it took a good 10 days or so before I really started to feel somewhat better. You are on your way to that mark.
I'm glad to hear you got out for a walk. Did you like it? Maybe you could make that a daily habit.
Payday seems to be a huge trigger for you, one of your biggest hurdles. Let's start planning for that today, not much more time until it arrives. The obvious is pay your bills, go grocery shopping and spend the money on needed and healthy things. But even that has not stopped you in the past, the temptation comes in too strong and you end up spending on alcohol. So I think a good area to focus would be to yes, do those healthy spending activities but also come up with a plan to stay busy and active with other things. The cravings and thoughts are going to come, we know that. No use trying to will away the thoughts. Your focus should be on how you are going to deal with them. Exercise, whatever your capabilities are, is a really good option. I personally have found that doing positive things helps me. I don't do well with tv binges and ice cream. I prefer to DO something that makes my situation better in some way, I end up going to bed at night feeling accomplished and good about myself. So many times I drank because I felt like **** about myself, so doing something to make me feel good is really helpful. Cleaning, organising, a home project, exercise, taking care of something administrative like paying bills, going to the post office, calling a company I need to speak to about something.... What have you been putting off that you need to do? Even something ridiculous and annoying like dusting the floorboards, washing out the inside of a trashcan, cleaning your windows.
I'll be waiting for that recipe, it sounds so yummy. Why don't you wait to send that to me and put that on your list for things to do on payday. You'll need to log-in here and spend time posting.
I believe in you sweeti, so many people do. It all comes down to you though. With, admittedly massive, effort, you can crush through this payday and come out on the other side close to that 10 day mark.
I'm glad to hear you got out for a walk. Did you like it? Maybe you could make that a daily habit.
Payday seems to be a huge trigger for you, one of your biggest hurdles. Let's start planning for that today, not much more time until it arrives. The obvious is pay your bills, go grocery shopping and spend the money on needed and healthy things. But even that has not stopped you in the past, the temptation comes in too strong and you end up spending on alcohol. So I think a good area to focus would be to yes, do those healthy spending activities but also come up with a plan to stay busy and active with other things. The cravings and thoughts are going to come, we know that. No use trying to will away the thoughts. Your focus should be on how you are going to deal with them. Exercise, whatever your capabilities are, is a really good option. I personally have found that doing positive things helps me. I don't do well with tv binges and ice cream. I prefer to DO something that makes my situation better in some way, I end up going to bed at night feeling accomplished and good about myself. So many times I drank because I felt like **** about myself, so doing something to make me feel good is really helpful. Cleaning, organising, a home project, exercise, taking care of something administrative like paying bills, going to the post office, calling a company I need to speak to about something.... What have you been putting off that you need to do? Even something ridiculous and annoying like dusting the floorboards, washing out the inside of a trashcan, cleaning your windows.
I'll be waiting for that recipe, it sounds so yummy. Why don't you wait to send that to me and put that on your list for things to do on payday. You'll need to log-in here and spend time posting.
I believe in you sweeti, so many people do. It all comes down to you though. With, admittedly massive, effort, you can crush through this payday and come out on the other side close to that 10 day mark.
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Originally Posted by sweetichick
Hi Delilah. Trying to make a plan. So far I am getting my lawn mowed. I will save up for a portable air conditioner.
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Layaway is a great idea bexxed! Do they do that anymore? I would think so. Actually I know they do at some places. I have my eye on a nice, warm coat that is a little out of my price range. The store has offered me the option of leaving a little bit of money and coming and paying the rest within three months.
Anyway... You don't need a winter coat right now, you need air conditioning!
That might be a nice activity for payday sweeti, go shopping for a unit, checking out a few stores for the best price. Possibly there are sales with the upcoming holiday.
How big is your freezer? Here in Italy the refrigerators and freezers are tiny. I'd estimate my freezer is the size of two small shoe boxes. Since you enjoy cooking another good idea would be to go buy some food and cook all day, portioning it out and freezing it so you have meals for the upcoming weeks.
A fun cooking project (and easy) would be to make some bite size quiches (I swear easier than it sounds!) Freeze them. Then, if around the holidays someone stops by your house, family or maybe an AA friend, you can pull out a few and pop them in the oven to heat up as a little snack to offer your guests. I've done this before and I feel so accomplished and fancy
But they are super easy to make and even easier to heat up.
These are all bandaids though sweeti, a way to push through the danger days of payday. I think it is very important to also consider what positive steps you can take towards your recovery to build long-lasting sobriety. Have you checked back in with any of the rehab places? What's going on with AA? If you are finding interacting with people to be wrought with conflict why not consider online AA meetings? I am currently calling in to one group several times a week and I love it. What's the update with your therapist and psychiatrist? Do you feel good about any meds you are on? I have found,, through years of experience, that one must push on these matters. These professionals are over-loaded with clients and we must be our own advocate here. Make the calls, push for change if needed, insist to be seen and heard.
Anyway... You don't need a winter coat right now, you need air conditioning!
That might be a nice activity for payday sweeti, go shopping for a unit, checking out a few stores for the best price. Possibly there are sales with the upcoming holiday.
How big is your freezer? Here in Italy the refrigerators and freezers are tiny. I'd estimate my freezer is the size of two small shoe boxes. Since you enjoy cooking another good idea would be to go buy some food and cook all day, portioning it out and freezing it so you have meals for the upcoming weeks.
A fun cooking project (and easy) would be to make some bite size quiches (I swear easier than it sounds!) Freeze them. Then, if around the holidays someone stops by your house, family or maybe an AA friend, you can pull out a few and pop them in the oven to heat up as a little snack to offer your guests. I've done this before and I feel so accomplished and fancy
But they are super easy to make and even easier to heat up. These are all bandaids though sweeti, a way to push through the danger days of payday. I think it is very important to also consider what positive steps you can take towards your recovery to build long-lasting sobriety. Have you checked back in with any of the rehab places? What's going on with AA? If you are finding interacting with people to be wrought with conflict why not consider online AA meetings? I am currently calling in to one group several times a week and I love it. What's the update with your therapist and psychiatrist? Do you feel good about any meds you are on? I have found,, through years of experience, that one must push on these matters. These professionals are over-loaded with clients and we must be our own advocate here. Make the calls, push for change if needed, insist to be seen and heard.
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Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Derbyshire Dales, UK.
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Hi Sweeti 
Sorry I didn't manage to get online before now, it's been chaos over here with work and life in general.
Things I used to do in the early days ALL involved, taking the 'choice' of drinking (or more precisely getting out to get alcohol) away.
Crazy things like - giving my car keys to a friend for the day - putting my paper money in water and freezing it (by the time i'd defrosted it etc, the urge had worn off......other times, I'd shove my head under the shower (couldn't go out with soaking wet hair and again, urge had worn off by the time it dried)
I even a couple of times threw my purse down the garden in the dark - (couldn't find it again until daylight - works with car keys too)
Basically do just ANYTHING that 'takes the choice away' - the sense of relief used to be wonderful.
Hope these crazy things help - it really is a case of fighting your own self/brain but it's worth it
Keep going!
Hugs
Kate Xx
Sorry I didn't manage to get online before now, it's been chaos over here with work and life in general.Things I used to do in the early days ALL involved, taking the 'choice' of drinking (or more precisely getting out to get alcohol) away.
Crazy things like - giving my car keys to a friend for the day - putting my paper money in water and freezing it (by the time i'd defrosted it etc, the urge had worn off......other times, I'd shove my head under the shower (couldn't go out with soaking wet hair and again, urge had worn off by the time it dried)
I even a couple of times threw my purse down the garden in the dark - (couldn't find it again until daylight - works with car keys too)
Basically do just ANYTHING that 'takes the choice away' - the sense of relief used to be wonderful.
Hope these crazy things help - it really is a case of fighting your own self/brain but it's worth it
Keep going!
Hugs
Kate Xx
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Join Date: May 2016
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Thanks for all the kind replies. I really stuffed up and have almost finished 2 bottles of wine. My triggers were too many bills and nothing to spend on myself. I miscalculated and thought I would have more money. Depression over Christmas. Last Christmas me and my boyfriend broke up after he went away with a wife who had divorced him 18 years ago. Christmas Eve was the last time I saw my kids 7 years ago. My daughter birthday is the 17/12. So I always relate Christmas to her. Went shopping and I can't get away from it. Maybe live in a coffin between now and then. These are not excuses just triggers. Please be nice. I thank everyone for their support. I don't want to go buy a third bottle.
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Hey sweeti, you don't mention if you tried anything to prevent yourself from going to buy the bottles. I think that's pretty key here. The desire to drink is not just going to magically disappear, you have to do things to change your path.
You are not the only one who has had a hard life sweeti, so many of us had. There are always going to be "reasons" to drink, both good and bad, the point is you have to work through those emotions without turning to alcohol.
My current psychiatrist, who is quite good and has a lot of experience with addiction explains to obvious quite clearly. He says nothing- no medication, no exercise, no nothing- can change our moods and block out unwanted emotions as quickly and effectively as alcohol. This keeps us coming back, even normal drinkers use this mechanism, having one single glass of wine after work to relax or put the day behind them. We alcoholics take it way too far. There is no point in trying to push that fact under the rug, it simply is what it is. But for we alcoholics we cannot use this coping mechanism anymore. We must find other ways to deal with life situations and handle our emotions in a healthier way.
What is the plan going forward? What's going on with the rehab search? Are there social services there that can help you manage your money? Often you have to ask for what you need. Need and want- you have to want it. For example I visited an outpatient rehab clinic asking for help. They said because I am not drinking daily anymore and only have these "small" relapses every few months, I was not really good for the program. I begged them to work with me and we have set up a custom program I am happy about. This includes twice weekly urine tests which must come back negative in order for me to be able to have my kids with me. I asked for this to have an extra push and motivation. I want to stay sober that much.
Possibly you could work out something similar tailored to your own circumstances. Maybe you can find a program that will hold your monthly money for you, help you pay your bills and give you a weekly allowance subject to a clean urine test. It sounds dramatic but it is going to take something dramatic. No one is coming to rescue you sweeti, god knows I waited forever for that myself, you have to make this happen for yourself.
You are not the only one who has had a hard life sweeti, so many of us had. There are always going to be "reasons" to drink, both good and bad, the point is you have to work through those emotions without turning to alcohol.
My current psychiatrist, who is quite good and has a lot of experience with addiction explains to obvious quite clearly. He says nothing- no medication, no exercise, no nothing- can change our moods and block out unwanted emotions as quickly and effectively as alcohol. This keeps us coming back, even normal drinkers use this mechanism, having one single glass of wine after work to relax or put the day behind them. We alcoholics take it way too far. There is no point in trying to push that fact under the rug, it simply is what it is. But for we alcoholics we cannot use this coping mechanism anymore. We must find other ways to deal with life situations and handle our emotions in a healthier way.
What is the plan going forward? What's going on with the rehab search? Are there social services there that can help you manage your money? Often you have to ask for what you need. Need and want- you have to want it. For example I visited an outpatient rehab clinic asking for help. They said because I am not drinking daily anymore and only have these "small" relapses every few months, I was not really good for the program. I begged them to work with me and we have set up a custom program I am happy about. This includes twice weekly urine tests which must come back negative in order for me to be able to have my kids with me. I asked for this to have an extra push and motivation. I want to stay sober that much.
Possibly you could work out something similar tailored to your own circumstances. Maybe you can find a program that will hold your monthly money for you, help you pay your bills and give you a weekly allowance subject to a clean urine test. It sounds dramatic but it is going to take something dramatic. No one is coming to rescue you sweeti, god knows I waited forever for that myself, you have to make this happen for yourself.
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