The news is out
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
This is scary stuff Delizadee and I would like to underline the posts from Scott and Soberlicious because like them, I have seen this before. We are all happy to see you survived this event, but what has happened is you and the ICU have only dealt with symptoms and consequences. The cause, as far as I can tell from your posts, remains untouched.
That's the scary bit, I have known people have frightening experiences before, final warning stuff, and they drank and died because they refused to address the cause. You are going to have to try something new. What you tried last time almost killed you.
That's the scary bit, I have known people have frightening experiences before, final warning stuff, and they drank and died because they refused to address the cause. You are going to have to try something new. What you tried last time almost killed you.
No Dogma Please
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,562
This sounds all too familiar, the drinking after stopping a z drug cold turkey, to try and manage the shakes, sweats, hallucinosis...never seized because I was detoxed with a valium taper.
Hope you have access to medical help for continued detox and some sort of long term sobriety treatment/recovery group and plan for after the worst of the physical withdrawals.
Hope you have access to medical help for continued detox and some sort of long term sobriety treatment/recovery group and plan for after the worst of the physical withdrawals.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: St.Petersburg, FL.
Posts: 1,077
Hey, Del. I'm glad you're back from a truly frightening experience and I hope you get the help you need to get and stay sober and never risk your life again.
Your experience is familiar to me; when I quit drinking full stop in 2011 I had a couple of seizures and ended up in ER and ICU. I lost 3 days of my life and spent over a week in hospital. A week after I got out I checked into inpatient rehab for 60 days. It helped so much being in a safe place where there was no temptation of drink; it was a respite so I could focus only on recovery.
Your story is a stark reminder of alcohol's devastating effects. You've been spared to continue the fight--I hope you win.
Your experience is familiar to me; when I quit drinking full stop in 2011 I had a couple of seizures and ended up in ER and ICU. I lost 3 days of my life and spent over a week in hospital. A week after I got out I checked into inpatient rehab for 60 days. It helped so much being in a safe place where there was no temptation of drink; it was a respite so I could focus only on recovery.
Your story is a stark reminder of alcohol's devastating effects. You've been spared to continue the fight--I hope you win.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by Gottalife 
This is scary stuff Delizadee and I would like to underline the posts from Scott and Soberlicious because like them, I have seen this before. We are all happy to see you survived this event, but what has happened is you and the ICU have only dealt with symptoms and consequences. The cause, as far as I can tell from your posts, remains untouched.
That's the scary bit, I have known people have frightening experiences before, final warning stuff, and they drank and died because they refused to address the cause. You are going to have to try something new. What you tried last time almost killed you.
That's the scary bit, I have known people have frightening experiences before, final warning stuff, and they drank and died because they refused to address the cause. You are going to have to try something new. What you tried last time almost killed you.
theres a reason i type that,deli:
No wait. I WILL NOT EVER EVER DRINK AGAIN.
there were a few instances you procraimed ,"im done."
it seems just a proclamation isnt enough. maybe its time for a good extended stay in rehab?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
It's definitely time to recommit to my program. Getting back to my meetings, my counseling, posting regularly.
Unfortunately in the middle of this ordeal I did reach out to my sponsor to find out that she's moved to the other side of the country. However, Some things are lining up with my commitment like opening the days I need to get to my meetings and counseling.
Coming clean to my father, and my ex, was important.
Going back to meetings, getting a new sponsor.
Working my original plan, getting back to both of my counselors.
One thing that I've already incorporated which was missing is more healthful living. Being more active and eating healthier. My job has really helped with that mindset.
I hear what you're saying Tom, I've been thinking about those proclamations often and the thought of returning to treatment had been on my mind. I can't take anything off the table. Except of course drinking.
One thing at a time, one day at a time. I've got my recovery binder, my journal and my big book out and reading it. Work keeps me busy.
In a couple weeks I will be going back to the hematologist for a follow up. I really need to focus as much on my eating disorder as I do my alcoholism. It was another contributing factor to medical crisis. I really shy away from dealing with it or talking about it. I was so malnourished. I have done a lot of extreme damage on my body. So I am doing what I can to heal myself inside and out, still feeling pretty positive about things.
Day 3 is coming to a close. I get jittery but I think it's ongoing benzo withdrawal but who knows at this point and that's neither here nor there.
So on the list is getting in touch with both counselors and I have been recommended to try to get into a new female dr by a discharge worker so I can also get a referral to a psychiatrist.
I have a big day at work tomorrow, we are getting audited. I am a little anxious about it but looking forward to getting it over with.
Thank you for all your words guys! I have read them all and will keep reading them over.
xo Del
Unfortunately in the middle of this ordeal I did reach out to my sponsor to find out that she's moved to the other side of the country. However, Some things are lining up with my commitment like opening the days I need to get to my meetings and counseling.
Coming clean to my father, and my ex, was important.
Going back to meetings, getting a new sponsor.
Working my original plan, getting back to both of my counselors.
One thing that I've already incorporated which was missing is more healthful living. Being more active and eating healthier. My job has really helped with that mindset.
I hear what you're saying Tom, I've been thinking about those proclamations often and the thought of returning to treatment had been on my mind. I can't take anything off the table. Except of course drinking.
One thing at a time, one day at a time. I've got my recovery binder, my journal and my big book out and reading it. Work keeps me busy.
In a couple weeks I will be going back to the hematologist for a follow up. I really need to focus as much on my eating disorder as I do my alcoholism. It was another contributing factor to medical crisis. I really shy away from dealing with it or talking about it. I was so malnourished. I have done a lot of extreme damage on my body. So I am doing what I can to heal myself inside and out, still feeling pretty positive about things.
Day 3 is coming to a close. I get jittery but I think it's ongoing benzo withdrawal but who knows at this point and that's neither here nor there.
So on the list is getting in touch with both counselors and I have been recommended to try to get into a new female dr by a discharge worker so I can also get a referral to a psychiatrist.
I have a big day at work tomorrow, we are getting audited. I am a little anxious about it but looking forward to getting it over with.
Thank you for all your words guys! I have read them all and will keep reading them over.
xo Del
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Originally Posted by Delizadee
It's definitely time to recommit to my program. Getting back to my meetings, my counseling, posting regularly.
Unfortunately in the middle of this ordeal I did reach out to my sponsor to find out that she's moved to the other side of the country. However, Some things are lining up with my commitment like opening the days I need to get to my meetings and counseling.
Coming clean to my father, and my ex, was important.
Going back to meetings, getting a new sponsor.
Working my original plan, getting back to both of my counselors.
One thing that I've already incorporated which was missing is more healthful living. Being more active and eating healthier. My job has really helped with that mindset.
I hear what you're saying Tom, I've been thinking about those proclamations often and the thought of returning to treatment had been on my mind. I can't take anything off the table. Except of course drinking.
One thing at a time, one day at a time. I've got my recovery binder, my journal and my big book out and reading it. Work keeps me busy.
In a couple weeks I will be going back to the hematologist for a follow up. I really need to focus as much on my eating disorder as I do my alcoholism. It was another contributing factor to medical crisis. I really shy away from dealing with it or talking about it. I was so malnourished. I have done a lot of extreme damage on my body. So I am doing what I can to heal myself inside and out, still feeling pretty positive about things.
Day 3 is coming to a close. I get jittery but I think it's ongoing benzo withdrawal but who knows at this point and that's neither here nor there.
So on the list is getting in touch with both counselors and I have been recommended to try to get into a new female dr by a discharge worker so I can also get a referral to a psychiatrist.
I have a big day at work tomorrow, we are getting audited. I am a little anxious about it but looking forward to getting it over with.
Thank you for all your words guys! I have read them all and will keep reading them over.
xo Del
Unfortunately in the middle of this ordeal I did reach out to my sponsor to find out that she's moved to the other side of the country. However, Some things are lining up with my commitment like opening the days I need to get to my meetings and counseling.
Coming clean to my father, and my ex, was important.
Going back to meetings, getting a new sponsor.
Working my original plan, getting back to both of my counselors.
One thing that I've already incorporated which was missing is more healthful living. Being more active and eating healthier. My job has really helped with that mindset.
I hear what you're saying Tom, I've been thinking about those proclamations often and the thought of returning to treatment had been on my mind. I can't take anything off the table. Except of course drinking.
One thing at a time, one day at a time. I've got my recovery binder, my journal and my big book out and reading it. Work keeps me busy.
In a couple weeks I will be going back to the hematologist for a follow up. I really need to focus as much on my eating disorder as I do my alcoholism. It was another contributing factor to medical crisis. I really shy away from dealing with it or talking about it. I was so malnourished. I have done a lot of extreme damage on my body. So I am doing what I can to heal myself inside and out, still feeling pretty positive about things.
Day 3 is coming to a close. I get jittery but I think it's ongoing benzo withdrawal but who knows at this point and that's neither here nor there.
So on the list is getting in touch with both counselors and I have been recommended to try to get into a new female dr by a discharge worker so I can also get a referral to a psychiatrist.
I have a big day at work tomorrow, we are getting audited. I am a little anxious about it but looking forward to getting it over with.
Thank you for all your words guys! I have read them all and will keep reading them over.
xo Del
https://www.recoveryaudio.org
Anyway. So glad you made it through all that for another chance.
Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery.
BB
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Northwest U.S.
Posts: 778
Originally Posted by soberlicious
Please let this be the turning point...the last time you ever pick up a drink. I'm not telling you anything you don't know, but there will be a point-with continued drinking and benzo use-that your kidneys and liver simply will not be able to turn around. My sister just died a month ago from cirrhosis and there were so many points along the way when there was still a chance and then one day...just like that...the chances were all up. There was nothing, no procedure, no medication, no nothing that could keep her liver, kidneys, and gradually the rest of her body, from failing. One of the last things she said was "I don't want to die. I want to go back, I want to run around in the yard...play with the kids." She wanted one more chance, but it was too late and the chances had all been used up along the way.
She was so scared and she died with regret.
You get another chance. Take it.
She was so scared and she died with regret.
You get another chance. Take it.
The thing is, in a week or a month you are, more than likely, going to be feeling 100% fine. It is imperative that you take this time, right now, to deal with how you will continue to stay sober even when your brain convinces you that all of that medical emergency stuff was overblown and you feel perfectly normal today. Because that day will come. Make a plan, follow the plan, and don't ever allow yourself to believe that you can safely drink again.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 635
I agreed with soberandhonest i had a medical scared and continue drinking.
it was more like a mental health scare and i keep it up. I know that to get sober again i had to deal with even more uncomfortable feelings and just simply feeling like i just want to jump out of my skin. that feeling is the worst but i can get past than i just got complaisance. don't do that. I am pulling for you.
it was more like a mental health scare and i keep it up. I know that to get sober again i had to deal with even more uncomfortable feelings and just simply feeling like i just want to jump out of my skin. that feeling is the worst but i can get past than i just got complaisance. don't do that. I am pulling for you.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 112
Hello, I too, was in the ER 8 days ago worried I was going to die. My blood pressure was very high and I was shaking and every muscle in my body was rigid and I just felt like I can’t put into words. Something so much worse and different than a hangover. I remember day 2, it was rough, and so was day 3 and 4. But here I am day 8 and doing so much better. I’m here in bed looking at my nightstand and it’s clean! No empty vodka or wine bottles. Nothing to dispose of discretely, nothing to regret. No wretched feelings of having abused myself once again.
I, too, want to live and I’m a mother to two, 14 and 11, who deserve a mother who doesn’t get sick and/or die on them. I still have a huge bruise on my wrist from the fluid IV. I just look at it several times a day and think wow, I never want to go back to those days. Those days were only 8 days ago but they feel a lifetime behind me now because I got absolutely NOTHING from drinking if I’m honest with myself. That temporary feeling of euphoria was also damaging my liver, brain and kidneys, heart and muscles, skin, spirit, soul, reason for living. I know it’s effin HARD, feels like an awful break up. But on the other side is a much better life just like how sometimes you break up with a really awful
guy then you end up meeting a great one. But you have to stop going back to the jerk. You have to love yourself more than you love the booze.
This was your wake up call. Heed it. This forum is the best online resource for ANYTHING I’ve ever come across in my decades online. Such caring and understanding people. I honestly haven’t made it more than a week in years and I’m gonna credit first God, and second this place because I don’t have a lot of friends or family. I drank alone and dealt with loneliness. But I’m choosing a different path now. I don’t think about drinking as much. My AV wants me to see visions of getting drunk again in the future. I pay it no mind. There is no “future”, there is only right now, and right now I’m sober and making the choice not to drink. That’s ALL that matters. You can do this. We all can. Glad you’re here.
I, too, want to live and I’m a mother to two, 14 and 11, who deserve a mother who doesn’t get sick and/or die on them. I still have a huge bruise on my wrist from the fluid IV. I just look at it several times a day and think wow, I never want to go back to those days. Those days were only 8 days ago but they feel a lifetime behind me now because I got absolutely NOTHING from drinking if I’m honest with myself. That temporary feeling of euphoria was also damaging my liver, brain and kidneys, heart and muscles, skin, spirit, soul, reason for living. I know it’s effin HARD, feels like an awful break up. But on the other side is a much better life just like how sometimes you break up with a really awful
guy then you end up meeting a great one. But you have to stop going back to the jerk. You have to love yourself more than you love the booze.
This was your wake up call. Heed it. This forum is the best online resource for ANYTHING I’ve ever come across in my decades online. Such caring and understanding people. I honestly haven’t made it more than a week in years and I’m gonna credit first God, and second this place because I don’t have a lot of friends or family. I drank alone and dealt with loneliness. But I’m choosing a different path now. I don’t think about drinking as much. My AV wants me to see visions of getting drunk again in the future. I pay it no mind. There is no “future”, there is only right now, and right now I’m sober and making the choice not to drink. That’s ALL that matters. You can do this. We all can. Glad you’re here.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,671
DELIZ- a good post.
I had experience in an ICU, allbeit in an induced coma..then a burns unit.
Count your blessings....and learn...people like us, who have been pulled back from the brink do not often get second chances....
I hope you heed these very serious words. I was clinically dead 3 times
My kidneys gave out and I was on dialysis for days. I had 4 times my blood volume replaced and was tube fed for weeks.
I hope, really hope you have learned from your experience and do not have to go to my severity of experience.
My congrats, support and prayers to you.
I had experience in an ICU, allbeit in an induced coma..then a burns unit.
Count your blessings....and learn...people like us, who have been pulled back from the brink do not often get second chances....
I hope you heed these very serious words. I was clinically dead 3 times
My kidneys gave out and I was on dialysis for days. I had 4 times my blood volume replaced and was tube fed for weeks.
I hope, really hope you have learned from your experience and do not have to go to my severity of experience.
My congrats, support and prayers to you.
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