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Old 06-11-2018, 03:04 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Today is day one.


Hi,

I'm making a declaration that today is day one.

I'm making this post as I need to tell someone that understands and I need to write it down so I can refer back to this post in the coming weeks, months, years when I have the urges or forget how much I hate the hangovers..

There's no big story behind my drinking, I've got in bad habit over the past twenty years of necking a bottle of wine and other drinks 2-3 times a week then feeling like crap the next day and forget what happened the previous evening. I get bored so drink, I also use it as a reward in the evening for having a busy day and to unwind but it's having the opposite effect nowadays. Over the past six months I've been definitely drinking too much for no particular reason other than I can as I've not got anything to do the next day so it doesn't matter if I'm hanging but I've got kids and it's not on, I need to grow up. I've always liked to drink and have quit in the past for months at a time but then just slip back in. Husband makes comments sometimes but I laugh it off and tell him not to be boring but inside I'm cringing and know he's right.

I've been reading this forum for months and it's helped me understand that there's all types of drinkers and I really relate to a lot of posts on here. Especially the "alcoholic voice" telling me nah, have a drink it'll be fine. That little voice needs to shush! So now I feel armed, I chose a date to stop which is today.
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Old 06-11-2018, 03:11 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Welcome to the posting side of SR.

If you have been reading for months, you know the importance of a recovery plan, right? We're here if you've got questions.
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Old 06-11-2018, 03:17 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Welcome. I am very similar, and tend to drink out of boredom. Congrats on day 1, you can do this!
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Old 06-11-2018, 03:21 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Welcome!

When I think about drinking (which is super rare, and can be for you too) once the thought is done I will say to myself "Well, that sounds stupid". I do not entertain drinking or the thought, I do not give it a positive because it was never a positive in my life.

Blessings of many sober days to come for you!
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Old 06-11-2018, 03:27 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Wonderful!

Welcome to a better life.

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Old 06-11-2018, 03:30 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Welcome to the family. I hope our support can help you achieve lasting sobriety.
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Old 06-11-2018, 03:32 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I've thought about my triggers, usually about 3pm start thinking about going to the local shop so need to make sure I do dinner earlier so I eat and got some posh ice cream in to have instead of a bottle of wine.

I've got things planned for this week to keep me occupied so cinema and the weekend I've made sure I've got things planned to keep me busy which I wouldn't be able to do if hungover.

I really want it this time, I've been hungover today and drank both days over the weekend which I don't normally do but yesterday as I drank the wine while hanging from the previous day I didn't even want it as I knew how I'd feel today. I know the cravings are going to hit in a few days so this is why I've posted here so I write it down instead of opening a bottle.
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Old 06-11-2018, 03:35 PM   #8 (permalink)
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I'm so glad you joined us, Longlady. It sounds like it's no longer fun or enjoyable in any way. Time to get free. You can do this.
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Old 06-11-2018, 03:43 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Thanks for your replies. It's funny reading it back. It really makes it clearer in my mind. I drank both days this weekend as a sort of last goodbye to alcohol as I'd chosen this date, sounds stupid doesn't it to keep doing something that's making you unhappy!

It actually feels like a weight has lifted now I've written all this down.
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Old 06-11-2018, 04:03 PM   #10 (permalink)
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6/11/18 is an awesome sobriety date
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Old 06-11-2018, 04:32 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Welcome to SR.
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Old 06-11-2018, 08:19 PM   #12 (permalink)
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welcome, Longlady, and way to go on day one and coming out from lurking!

so your hubby has made comments....i wonder if instead of tellimg him not to be boring you might be able to tell him he's right and enlist his help and support? always great o have a "real-life person" in our corner.

regardless...lots of support here on SR.
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Old 06-11-2018, 09:05 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Welcome longlady

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Old 06-11-2018, 10:35 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Welcome Longlady ,.

I had a similar sense of relief seeing everything in black and white on the screen .

One thing I was grateful to learn here at SR ,...was to set my confidence level arbitrarily at 100 % ,....the thinking goes; *that anything ,...anything. less than 100% I could recognize as my av .

Congrats on such a wonderful decision ,.... Monday
6 /11 2018 it is then !!
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Old 06-12-2018, 09:29 AM   #15 (permalink)
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hows day 2 going for you Longlady ?

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Old 06-12-2018, 10:09 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Long,

ime...I thought I drank out of boredom, but it was physical and mental addiction.

After a few days clean, the crave ramped up. I have brain damage from drinking. It is chronic.

The only way out for me was suffering. I never saw a Dr. or went to rehab...yet.

I am on no meds.

I suffered and suffered. I got better and better.

That is the way I got this clean.

Thanks.
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When I crave I think of the next day after effects:

high blood pressure, sleep issues, strength loss, immune system compromise (sick).

BpSSS. My mantra.

Studied "alcohol kindling" and "alcohol PAWS."

Last intoxication: 8 May 15.
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Old 06-12-2018, 10:59 AM   #17 (permalink)
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The AV reminds you that you miss the good parts of alcohol.

Reality tells you that the good parts inevitably lead to the bad parts.

Recognizing the AV is a very effective skill. Congratulations on your decision.
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Old 06-12-2018, 11:08 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Good luck! I use/used an app called "quit that!" It was very helpful and rewarding. 1,145,587 minutes ago feels like a different life. I also wear a bracelet specifically to remind me of why I do this everyday...it's for the kids.

Go get 'em!
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Old 06-12-2018, 03:59 PM   #19 (permalink)
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I'm still here, end of day two done. Had a little wobble as I was cooking dinner but ignored it and ate and then raided the kids sweet cupboard for a pack of sweets.

Feeling good about my decision still but a little concerned about day 4 as that's my usual day to cave but I'm planning on making sure I'm home by lunchtime that day and do an early dinner. As long as I'm not out near a shop getting towards late afternoon I won't do the shop detour to buy any wine.

I definitely realise I need to plan ahead to avoid being in certain scenarios for a little while.

At least tomorrow I know I'm not going to be hungover and I can have a nice day out with the kids without having to wait to drive until the afternoon in case I'm still over the limit when I wake up.
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Old 06-12-2018, 05:21 PM   #20 (permalink)
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It sounds like you're prepared to get through Day 3 and Day 4, too. You're right that preparing and planning ahead is so helpful in early recovery.
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