rebellovw

Hello all,

I'm 52 - male - and Sober for close to two months (have my 30 day chip.)

I go to AA meetings pretty much every day. I'm enjoying them and making an effort to make friends, shake hands and remember names.

I'm looking forward to the fellowship - it is starting slow - but I do know about 10 people. I do still feel somewhat alone at the meetings - but that is fine as I'm used to it (I work from home and pretty much am alone 90% of the day) - and I'm thinking it will only get better with time - not something to be concerned with.

Anyhow - yesterday I bought the car I always wanted. I've been planning for it for months and shopping etc to get the best price. After a great surprise job promotion I decided to pull the trigger.

Last two days have been tough (not drink wise - just finance wise) as it was a big purchase and I'll get over it. I didn't need the car but hey I am a car guy and now is my chance and I can afford it.

Sorry for rambling.

Anyhow - I drove it to the meeting last night and tonight. Tonight my sponsor saw me getting in it and pulled up. He kind of grinned but said something a bit snide "hope it fixes you.."

Not a big deal but I was already feeling guilty about buying let alone driving it to a meeting filled with folks that are not all doing that great.

I do not feel I should hide my successes - but perhaps I should.

Anyhow - I'm going to walk my dogs and get in my meditation.

Thanks for listening.

C

P.S. I just realized after proof reading this - that I also received a back handed congrats from a colleague over my Promotion - so perhaps two things that are bugging me unconsciously.

Dee74

I'm not an AA guy but for me thinking about the car and what it might means to others is overthinking.

If you were trying to show off then maybe thats something to look at - but it didn't sound to me like you were - you can't control what others might think.

Being humble is good - but hiding my successes doesn't sound healthy to me.

just my .02

D

SWB

I wouldn’t feel bad about it, you deserve it. I have to ask what kind of car is it?

Porcetta

Life continues - Don't sweat over it.
Although, I am interested in your car choice!

least

I think that was a rude and unnecessary thing for your sponsor to say. I would say to drive the car anywhere you want to go. That's what cars are for.

tekink

Yeah, what kind of car?

DreamCatcher17

Sounds like your sponsor has the problem, not you. You do you, get a new car, get a new house, wear nice clothes and don't worry what others think of you, that's none of your business. Be proud!

DontRemember

Don't sweat it. I'm a car guy and go to a meeting on the 'less fortunate' side of town. I will say;when I first started I was being dropped off by an Uber because I lost my license,but in sharing I explained my 'work life',ect..So when I got my license back and started showing up in various cars and such it wasn't a surprise. Now that I'm single and have a lot of extra time I'll give some folks without transportation a ride to/from when I can. Makes for good conversation and helps you both out.

rebellovw

Thanks D. I definitely think I'm over thinking - since the promotion and the car- I need to come down and get back into my normal routine. I'm always like this when I get something new - once it wares off I'm fine. Thanks again.

Ken33xx

My thoughts as well.

The quip says more about the sponsor than anything else.

Could have said nice car or wow or whats the gas mileage but no.

Had to be a putdown.

rebellovw

Thanks SWB.

Thanks Porcetta.

It isn't a subtle car at all - its a 2018 Mustang GT black 19inch wheels - it screems obscenities. It sticks out like a sore thumb. I love it.

rebellovw

Yeah he has been in a pretty bad place at the moment - pretty frustrated - I'll give him a pass. He was the first friend I met in AA and was sober for close to 30 years - then slipped. I feel if anything I can help him.

Thanks tkink. 460HP Mustang - it is sick.

Thanks DreamC.

trachemys

oh, you're obviously not suffering enough.

That attitude is ********.

Enjoy life however you can without your vice.

PeacefulRain

I live in a huge house and don’t have to work. I drive the stay-at-home mom’s dream car. I wear a Rolex....guess what I’m just as much an alcoholic as a guy living in the gutter. The car, house or Rolex didn’t save me from alcoholism. I am fighting the same fight as the guy who has nothing, just much more comfortably. Not everyone has to be destitute to need help for alcoholism. There is a looooong list of very wealthy celebrities to prove that.

rebellovw

Thanks DR.
Thanks - that is what I was thinking - hey I'm glad for you... something nice.


Thanks very much!

I feel much better after my 4 mile walk with the dogs - always helps. It takes getting used to having a flashy car again vs a family mobile.

Thanks everyone - great site!

C

MariahGayle

Enjoy the new car & get a new spomsor

Zanna

Unless you walked in with your nose in the air, waving the keys around and waggling your hips like a super-model, I wouldn't worry
Safe driving

Gilmer

That’s a really thoughtful perspective, Rebellovw.

Maybe next time you see him you can offer him a little test drive. Including him would probably disarm him quite a bit, because he’d just find the thrill of it irresistible!

Berrybean

What others think isn't the important thing.

But... sometimes when someone passing comment eats at me it's because they've struck a nerve. Touches on a little truth that isn't comfortable for me. So maybe (and this is only a maybe, cause I obviously don't know you or your situation) ... maybe it's worth considering - is this a car? Or a fix? When I first got sober I resisted the steps like anything, and bought myself all kinds of crap to try to feel better. Ate all kinds of crap to make myself feel better. Fantasized about all kinds of other crap (that thankfully I didn't do) that I thought might make me feel better. 6 months on I felt like crap but had loads of stuff. And finally I settled down to do the recovery work I needed to do. THEN I started to feel better.

Not that this would be a reason not to enjoy those things (for what they are). It's just a case of not obsessing over them as if they have any deeper significance or meaning, because that distracts from the most important thing. Working on our recovery. You can use that car of yours for plenty of step 12 work when you get to that stage though. And if it's a gift of sobriety that you were able to get it, then you can soon share that as well.

Enjoy it. And enjoy that step work as well. Because those promises are the real prize.

BB

icewater1961

Not everyone in AA eats out of dumpsters. Or drives a junk car. I had a sporty Mercedes but had to sell it because of the fines and court costs of DUI. However nobody in AA ever made facetious remarks about that car. Or about the fact that I don't have it anymore. Don't take it personally what your sponsor said, enjoy your car. And give yourself a positive pat on the back that you are dealing with a drinking problem. Because in denial the next ride might be in a hearse! Only you can "fix" yourself yet we typically can not do it alone.There are all kinds of fancy cars where I go to AA. My sponsor drives a souped up brand new SUV and she says she was deemed a hopeless case but got on her feet and started a small business. It was her journey. Not so different from a felon that drove a junk car that AA people and his church got him.He is doing better now, too. Has a beautiful house, a great car. earned by his hard work, and is helping other people.