Feel guilty for driving new car to AA meeting...
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by rebellovw 
Yep that makes sense - and I remember the sensitivity when I was drinking - the smallest emergencies- were such big deals. It is nice to approach an emergency (such as something from work which I'm supposed to handle) calm and rational and just work it whereas before I would push back and panic.
I had a great drive today to Jerome AZ (winding roads) to get some sandwiches.
I had a great drive today to Jerome AZ (winding roads) to get some sandwiches.
Dubbed the largest ghost town in the USA, Jerome has a long and storied history of being a copper mining camp.
https://trip101.com/article/best-things-to-do-jerome-az
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by Bullwinkle1944
I also meant to share, rebellovw, as Kris Kristofferson lyrics from Me and Bobby McGee, “Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose” If one has no fear of loss, they are free.
Fear of loss of money, property and prestige is being caught -up in the illusion of power. People die and are buried, not money and property, but what’s left is prestige that by far is the most insidious due to the fear of not saving face, looking good, even after death, thus, some insist that their epitaph be on their tombstone. In this context, I began to learn years ago that what others think of me, is none of my business, unless they make it my business. I have no control over what others think. One wouldn’t be so concerned about what others think of them, if they realized that others are thinking about themselves the vast majority of the time!
Fear of loss of money, property and prestige is being caught -up in the illusion of power. People die and are buried, not money and property, but what’s left is prestige that by far is the most insidious due to the fear of not saving face, looking good, even after death, thus, some insist that their epitaph be on their tombstone. In this context, I began to learn years ago that what others think of me, is none of my business, unless they make it my business. I have no control over what others think. One wouldn’t be so concerned about what others think of them, if they realized that others are thinking about themselves the vast majority of the time!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 21
Originally Posted by Ken33xx
Are you spending the night?
Man though that place screams - have a drink! I love it - and wanted to live there - but now - no way!
I'm in Prescott.
Thanks,
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by grayghost1965
People like that are exactly why I'm not an AA guy - that comment was not only uncalled for, but rather snarky. He's probably jealous, but he could have kept his mouth shut.
I've found a majority of members do mean well.
However, there are unhappy people in AA. Some with lengthy sobriety who can be quite vocal in their opinions and quick with the snide remarks.
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 65
rebellovw, what you wrote below from my point of view is recovery!!
I had a touch of the spirit two weeks ago during the death of my older brother. My older brother was 70 and an alcoholic diabetic - yellow skin/yellow eyes. Two weeks ago I was walking my dogs thinking - ok - I've spoken with him there is no need for me to fly down and see him and watch him die. I've done my part. Then the idea popped into my head while walking the dogs (which I do for meditation)- hey drive down - it is only 12 hours- make a trip out of it - by yourself - to explore your sobriety. And I did -it was one of the greatest (I may be exaggerating - but i think not) trips of my life - being sober, alone and going through the death and talking and connecting with my other family members (opening up to them and being honest) was absolutely wonderful. I never would have done this drinking.
BTW, my father died at 84 as a result of complications due to of diabetes and alcoholism. He was very smart, an intellectual, but he was shame based from childhood, due to most of his life keeping a secret that he was half American Indian (he passed for white).
The purpose of the 12 steps is to get from step 1 to step 2 and 3. The second and third steps are one step and is not taken as is the other steps, it’s the destination, by taking steps 4 through 9, 10 is a continuum.
I’m as sick as my secrets 4th and 5th steps and by the 9th step, going into the 10th I was restored to sanity. Page 84, from the text Alcoholics Anonymous, “And we cease fighting anything or anyone even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned”.
I had a touch of the spirit two weeks ago during the death of my older brother. My older brother was 70 and an alcoholic diabetic - yellow skin/yellow eyes. Two weeks ago I was walking my dogs thinking - ok - I've spoken with him there is no need for me to fly down and see him and watch him die. I've done my part. Then the idea popped into my head while walking the dogs (which I do for meditation)- hey drive down - it is only 12 hours- make a trip out of it - by yourself - to explore your sobriety. And I did -it was one of the greatest (I may be exaggerating - but i think not) trips of my life - being sober, alone and going through the death and talking and connecting with my other family members (opening up to them and being honest) was absolutely wonderful. I never would have done this drinking.
BTW, my father died at 84 as a result of complications due to of diabetes and alcoholism. He was very smart, an intellectual, but he was shame based from childhood, due to most of his life keeping a secret that he was half American Indian (he passed for white).
The purpose of the 12 steps is to get from step 1 to step 2 and 3. The second and third steps are one step and is not taken as is the other steps, it’s the destination, by taking steps 4 through 9, 10 is a continuum.
I’m as sick as my secrets 4th and 5th steps and by the 9th step, going into the 10th I was restored to sanity. Page 84, from the text Alcoholics Anonymous, “And we cease fighting anything or anyone even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned”.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
rebellow,
re the sponsor's comment, it seems so simple to me: ask him what he meant by the comment and why he made it and hear him.
after you have heard him, you can share how it affected you, and why. or not.
to me, it was and is important to be able to ask and listen with the person i am ultimately needing to develop some trust with. i don't know how to do that without those conversations.
re the sponsor's comment, it seems so simple to me: ask him what he meant by the comment and why he made it and hear him.
after you have heard him, you can share how it affected you, and why. or not.
to me, it was and is important to be able to ask and listen with the person i am ultimately needing to develop some trust with. i don't know how to do that without those conversations.
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: LI, NY
Posts: 982
Originally Posted by rebellovw
It isn't a subtle car at all - its a 2018 Mustang GT black 19inch wheels - it screems obscenities. It sticks out like a sore thumb. I love it.
I have a GT as well but, it’s an 06. Congrats on the car, promotion and your sobriety!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 21
Originally Posted by JC-NY
I think it’s subtle until you make the exhaust louder 
I have a GT as well but, it’s an 06. Congrats on the car, promotion and your sobriety!
I have a GT as well but, it’s an 06. Congrats on the car, promotion and your sobriety!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 21
Originally Posted by DontRemember
Yeah..I'll 2nd the ehxaust and throw the idea of a supercharger out there too. That should really get his attention and put a big smile on your face. 
Hhaahaaa.
I'm 52 and 52 year olds do not need that much HP. or?
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Back to who has what in the fellowship...
I know a fellow who while in his early 40`s inherited a lot of money after his parents died. I never asked how much but he stopped working ten years ago and is retired.
However, AA members sometimes ask what he does for a living... so he made up stories about between jobs or starting a business. He felt embarrassed mentioning the money..
Interestingly I copped a resentment towards the guy but it wasn't the money. He wouldn't stop bugging about getting together on the weekend or after a meetings. (He`s divorced/lonely.)
But my plate is full and I wasn't going to feel sorry for him because he is bored in retirement.
The last time we spoke I suggested perhaps he take up golf or do some volunteer work.
Don`t know if he did or not because the word is he stopped coming to meetings.
I know a fellow who while in his early 40`s inherited a lot of money after his parents died. I never asked how much but he stopped working ten years ago and is retired.
However, AA members sometimes ask what he does for a living... so he made up stories about between jobs or starting a business. He felt embarrassed mentioning the money..
Interestingly I copped a resentment towards the guy but it wasn't the money. He wouldn't stop bugging about getting together on the weekend or after a meetings. (He`s divorced/lonely.)
But my plate is full and I wasn't going to feel sorry for him because he is bored in retirement.
The last time we spoke I suggested perhaps he take up golf or do some volunteer work.
Don`t know if he did or not because the word is he stopped coming to meetings.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 21
Originally Posted by Ken33xx
Back to who has what in the fellowship...
I know a fellow who while in his early 40`s inherited a lot of money after his parents died. I never asked how much but he stopped working ten years ago and is retired.
However, AA members sometimes ask what he does for a living... so he made up stories about between jobs or starting a business. He felt embarrassed mentioning the money..
Interestingly I copped a resentment towards the guy but it wasn't the money. He wouldn't stop bugging about getting together on the weekend or after a meetings. (He`s divorced/lonely.)
But my plate is full and I wasn't going to feel sorry for him because he is bored in retirement.
The last time we spoke I suggested perhaps he take up golf or do some volunteer work.
Don`t know if he did or not because the word is he stopped coming to meetings.
I know a fellow who while in his early 40`s inherited a lot of money after his parents died. I never asked how much but he stopped working ten years ago and is retired.
However, AA members sometimes ask what he does for a living... so he made up stories about between jobs or starting a business. He felt embarrassed mentioning the money..
Interestingly I copped a resentment towards the guy but it wasn't the money. He wouldn't stop bugging about getting together on the weekend or after a meetings. (He`s divorced/lonely.)
But my plate is full and I wasn't going to feel sorry for him because he is bored in retirement.
The last time we spoke I suggested perhaps he take up golf or do some volunteer work.
Don`t know if he did or not because the word is he stopped coming to meetings.
As far as what I have - I do have a fancy car - other than that - I'm very responsible financially (boglehead here) and have ambitions of a second career in retirement to make ends meet where I can be of help to others. I look forward to this service role.
Thanks,
No Dogma Please
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,562
People resent success.
Human nature.
I'm jelly you have a fun car. I have a little Volvo C30 that I love the hell out of. Switching to real estate sales and need a sensible sedan. The Volvo is a little couple with a tiny back seat, gets horrible gas mileage, is a stick, and it's orange.
Plus money's tight after a year of recovery.
Looks like maybe a Kia...or (gulp) a Camry.
Enjoy the 'stang!
Human nature.
I'm jelly you have a fun car. I have a little Volvo C30 that I love the hell out of. Switching to real estate sales and need a sensible sedan. The Volvo is a little couple with a tiny back seat, gets horrible gas mileage, is a stick, and it's orange.
Plus money's tight after a year of recovery.
Looks like maybe a Kia...or (gulp) a Camry.
Enjoy the 'stang!
AA Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Silicon Valley
Posts: 2,983
my newcomer car in 1991
1970 AAR 'cuda very cool
in my first year all i did was go to meetings and not drink which is slightly better than worthless because theres no program of recovery
my car at my bottom with a year sober after getting thrown into a locked psych ward 5150
then i became willing to follow direction
meetings
sponsor
steps
service
higher power
1970 AAR 'cuda very cool
in my first year all i did was go to meetings and not drink which is slightly better than worthless because theres no program of recovery
my car at my bottom with a year sober after getting thrown into a locked psych ward 5150
then i became willing to follow direction
meetings
sponsor
steps
service
higher power
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
Originally Posted by MindfulMan
People resent success.
Human nature.
I'm jelly you have a fun car. I have a little Volvo C30 that I love the hell out of. Switching to real estate sales and need a sensible sedan. The Volvo is a little couple with a tiny back seat, gets horrible gas mileage, is a stick, and it's orange.
Plus money's tight after a year of recovery.
Looks like maybe a Kia...or (gulp) a Camry.
Enjoy the 'stang!
Human nature.
I'm jelly you have a fun car. I have a little Volvo C30 that I love the hell out of. Switching to real estate sales and need a sensible sedan. The Volvo is a little couple with a tiny back seat, gets horrible gas mileage, is a stick, and it's orange.
Plus money's tight after a year of recovery.
Looks like maybe a Kia...or (gulp) a Camry.
Enjoy the 'stang!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 782
Originally Posted by rebellovw
Thanks SWB.
Thanks Porcetta.
It isn't a subtle car at all - its a 2018 Mustang GT black 19inch wheels - it screems obscenities. It sticks out like a sore thumb. I love it.
Thanks Porcetta.
It isn't a subtle car at all - its a 2018 Mustang GT black 19inch wheels - it screems obscenities. It sticks out like a sore thumb. I love it.
Just kidding
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 674
Buyer's remorse is common and likely driven by a lot of factors. For us alcoholics I suspect we're particularly susceptible.
Good on you for getting it out in the open and not just pushing it down. It's a fine line between letting ourselves and our abilities shine in the open light vs. letting our egos run a-muck. Especially for us.
Seems to me as long as you stay mindful of it and consider it with a healthy dose of introspection you'll be fine.
Don't be ashamed of success. Ever.
Best-
B
Good on you for getting it out in the open and not just pushing it down. It's a fine line between letting ourselves and our abilities shine in the open light vs. letting our egos run a-muck. Especially for us.
Seems to me as long as you stay mindful of it and consider it with a healthy dose of introspection you'll be fine.
Don't be ashamed of success. Ever.
Best-
B
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 518
Originally Posted by rebellovw
Thanks SWB.
Thanks Porcetta.
It isn't a subtle car at all - its a 2018 Mustang GT black 19inch wheels - it screems obscenities. It sticks out like a sore thumb. I love it.
Thanks Porcetta.
It isn't a subtle car at all - its a 2018 Mustang GT black 19inch wheels - it screems obscenities. It sticks out like a sore thumb. I love it.
Ford mustang is recognized as car guys car.. nobody thinks showoff.
A lambo would have the reaction u think your getting. Dont sweat it, enjoy it!
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