Weekender Thread 1-5 March 2018
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,205
Welcome to Weekenders Macncheese!
I have had an exceptionally busy day and it looks like I will have to go in tomorrow morning - rats! Never mind, at least the trains are running today (touch wood)
I have had an exceptionally busy day and it looks like I will have to go in tomorrow morning - rats! Never mind, at least the trains are running today (touch wood)
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,809
Originally Posted by biminiblue 
MLD - all my family has died so I get it.
Everything will get done. Let the emotions flow as they do. Lots of sorting going on in the mind right now.
I am one who felt relief when my mother died. I mean, I always loved her but she was so difficult. To be fair, she felt I was too.
It's just a jumble. I was okay for the most part but it's stressful at times, and a relief at times, annoying, scary, liberating, and at times feels a bit like freefall. l felt better once I got there and started doing stuff. The anticipation is a lot like anxiety or excitement.
Everything will get done. Let the emotions flow as they do. Lots of sorting going on in the mind right now.
I am one who felt relief when my mother died. I mean, I always loved her but she was so difficult. To be fair, she felt I was too.
It's just a jumble. I was okay for the most part but it's stressful at times, and a relief at times, annoying, scary, liberating, and at times feels a bit like freefall. l felt better once I got there and started doing stuff. The anticipation is a lot like anxiety or excitement.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
exactly. I edited my post, someday I'll stop doing that...but not today!
Guilt. Yup. But you're right, my first reaction was, "She won't be here to pick on me anymore." Then I felt bad for thinking that. Then I realized she would be hurt for me thinking that and round and round it goes.
My mother died in 1999. Right after that I found out I had a serious life-threatening disease and I had quit my job when my mother died so I was floundering emotionally for about two years. Not too long after that was when I started drinking again after having been quit for nearly two decades.
We are here. I feel your pain. It's so enmeshed and complicated with parents - unlike any other relationships.
Guilt. Yup. But you're right, my first reaction was, "She won't be here to pick on me anymore." Then I felt bad for thinking that. Then I realized she would be hurt for me thinking that and round and round it goes.
My mother died in 1999. Right after that I found out I had a serious life-threatening disease and I had quit my job when my mother died so I was floundering emotionally for about two years. Not too long after that was when I started drinking again after having been quit for nearly two decades.
We are here. I feel your pain. It's so enmeshed and complicated with parents - unlike any other relationships.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I was sober for a lot of years when my mom was still alive, and I also went to very limited contact for a long time. I told her why, that I couldn't deal with the constant judgemental condescension from her and that it was hurtful. She would never ever admit that she was to blame in any of it, and it never got better.
I did learn not to react. I did learn to hang up or leave the room instead, but no amount of time will "fix" someone if they don't admit to ever being wrong. In her head she never hurt me - it was all me being too sensitive.
She was a drinker and took Valium since I was little. I never saw her demonstrably drunk, but I know she had her demons and I never saw her go a day without a drink or five. In hindsight I think that was a problem, but it is what it is.
I did learn not to react. I did learn to hang up or leave the room instead, but no amount of time will "fix" someone if they don't admit to ever being wrong. In her head she never hurt me - it was all me being too sensitive.
She was a drinker and took Valium since I was little. I never saw her demonstrably drunk, but I know she had her demons and I never saw her go a day without a drink or five. In hindsight I think that was a problem, but it is what it is.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 292
Originally Posted by saoutchik
I have had an exceptionally busy day and it looks like I will have to go in tomorrow morning - rats! Never mind, at least the trains are running today (touch wood)
That was the case when I lived in the mid-Atlantic USA: We would occasionally (every few years) get a pretty bad snowstorm, but not often enough that a massive public investment in snow-removal equipment & chemicals was justified, so it would make a huge mess every time it snowed more than a couple of inches. Random garbage trucks and road-grading equipment would be re-purposed as snow plows.
It makes me grateful to live in warm sunny Arizona...you don't have to shovel heat! Have a great SOBER weekend everyone!
DD
ours de petit cerveau
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: London, UK
Posts: 1,630
Originally Posted by DesertDawg
is the problem that since most of the UK & Ireland doesn't get much snow, there is not sufficient equipment to quickly deal with it?
one quite amusing side-effect of the snow near me is that a house being used for cannabis growing got busted by the police as it was the only one in its street without snow on its roof
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,205
Originally Posted by DesertDawg
Sao, is the problem that since most of the UK & Ireland doesn't get much snow, there is not sufficient equipment to quickly deal with it?
DD
DD
Off to work for a couple of hours this morning, not my preferred way of spending Saturday morning.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 3,062
Happy Saturday - Vermont received some snow; shovel rather than snow blower so that is good. My son and his girlfriend are in town from Boston so I'm very excited to see them this weekend 
Off to drink more coffee and to watch the birds in the feeder as I reflect on being grateful for another hangover free Saturday morning - this feeling just never gets old!
Off to drink more coffee and to watch the birds in the feeder as I reflect on being grateful for another hangover free Saturday morning - this feeling just never gets old!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 1,100
Originally Posted by Dee74
Realism rocks. For serious
Encouraging news Dee. Thanks for all you do man
Sunny and in the 60's today. Great workout this am; now on to some errands I've been putting off.
Realist and somewhat of a procrastinator
Later all.
TheT.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,517
Originally Posted by biminiblue
It's sunny! What?! 
...to the Big Beach Hill. With a tank-top! No alcohol! NO hangover.
I don't miss that one little bit.
...to the Big Beach Hill. With a tank-top! No alcohol! NO hangover.
I don't miss that one little bit.
♥♥
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 2 (0 members and 2 guests)
