Rowlands1

So today .. I'm taking my first step to soberity.
My first Friday night in years without the drink in hand.
I'm Scared 😔

DontRemember

What scares you about not drinking?

SoberLeigh

Welcome to SR, Rowlands.

Very glad you joined us.

You will find an abundance of support, wisdom, understanding and encouragement here.

Hope that you find what so many never thought possible - that Sobriety Rocks!!!

Stay close. We care.

Rowlands1

It's controlled me helped me forget my past.
Basically felt like my friend... I can't talk to family .. Husband... Just ashamed of what I've become.

SoberLeigh

I was so ashamed, too, Rowlands.

We can learn from our past and make peace with it. The important thing is that we keep moving forward in a healthy, sober way thereby, in the process, creating a new past - one we can be proud of.

Hevyn

Great to have you join us, Rowlands!

I do know how you feel. I was so afraid to let go of it - but it was destroying me. I had seen it as a way to cope, but I'd become dependent on it over the years. I never made a move without it - and it was taking more & more to achieve the same 'result' (numbness). Life is so much better when we get free. After 30 yrs. of drinking I am finally getting to know myself. You can do it!

2ndhandrose

Welcome, Rowlands1

For my first Friday night sober, I neglected to make a plan for the evening.

I didn't drink, but I did not have a very good evening

In retrospect, I would have chosen to make a special dinner for myself, maybe picked a movie to watch, had my herbal teas or favourite soda ready to go. Or maybe a nice bath with a special bath bomb or oil. Or get together with a trusted friend, who could offer support?

Whatever it is, that would be a way give yourself some TLC!

This is an awesome thing that you are doing and you will find a ton of support, information and wisdom here at SR.

Stay close, you will have lots of hand holding

least

Welcome to the family. I was afraid to stop drinking too. Didn't know what I'd do if I couldn't drink. But I found life is so much better sober. I hope our support can help you get sober for good.

Rowlands1

Ive been out for dinner with my daughter.
Which was lovely.
She mentioned going to see a movie tomorrow night.
Which normally would never happen as Saturday night it drinking night ?
Not tomorrow.
Having a structured plan is clearly going to help & motivate me 😊

SoberLeigh

Fantastic, Rowlands.

And there is a fantastic on the topic of Plans.

I will post a link in a minute.

SoberLeigh

As promised:

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...highlight=Psst (Psst...wanna know why I'm always recommending recovery plans?)

ChloeRose63

If anything you should be excited about the new beginnings that happen in recovery. The whole world opens up when you let go of the ties that alcohol held you down with. You are free!

Rowlands1

I'm so ready to spread my wings & fly & not feel consumed by guilt & anger that is how it makes me feel.
It's not been a Happy rd & only I can change it.
Thank you for positive words of encouragement... I'm going to coming to this site an awful lot. 💪😊

DontRemember

That's why I asked what I asked. There's so much more life out here/there when we're truly present. Glad you had a great dinner with your daughter and enjoy that movie tomorrow. You'll both/all get more out of it than you drinking. Does your husband drink?

2muchpain

Good for you for making the decision to quit drinking. Better days are coming for you because of that. The problem with drinking IMHO to forget the past is that it's a short-term answer to avoiding what you will eventually have to deal with. I know how hard it is; but dealing with personal issues sober and with a clear mind is the best way to be able to let go of past problems and be able to move on. John

thomas11

You know that crappy feeling that alcohol has left you feeling about yourself?....I'm pretty sure all that will go away in sobriety. You can rebuild yourself in the image of your choice. Welcome to SR.

Rowlands1

He drinks in moderation.
Has the power to take it or leave it.
He happily did dry January.

CaliButterfly

It IS scary at first Rowlands, but that's only temporary. One very small thing that I noticed a few days out is being able to drive at night. Haven't done that in YEARS! Felt great to feel mobile and self-sufficient again. I was very ashamed at what I had become and what others around me witnessed. Stumbling around, passing out on the couch at 9 pm, not remembering, and on and on. My kids (teenager & up) are so proud of me that my shame is being replaced by self-respect. My AH is even encouraging. You're not able to talk to your hubby about this?

Rowlands1

Goodness that sounds the mirror image of myself.
Passed out every evening on the sofa.. Burning the kids dinner..
Generally being a rubbish mum & wife.
My daughter is 11 & is at such an impressionable age.. She hates me drinking so it's not only for me but especially her . I want to be a good role model.. Someone she trusts & respects.
So today is day two without booze.
I've kept as busy as possible & bought as a stash of chocolate & a good book to keep me occupied !
Wish me Luck ! 😊

Komplex

Welcome Rowlands. Congrats on day 2. Earning the trust of my young daughter back also is motivating to me. Have a great day!!